The 'Peace'

[Skydancing]

Do others find the 'Peace' embarrassing? I must admit I dislike it intensely. It is sometimes used an as excuse for men having a kiss and a grope of a nubile female! I remember one chap practically giving me a french kiss when I was younger. He was old enough to be my grandfather and had bad breath, YUCK.

I thought the idea of the peace was to acknowledge your nearest neighbour in the pew, not for folk to run around the church kissing and hugging the whole congregation and turning into a love fest for lecherous males! Sorry that is very sexist! Many years ago there was a middle aged spinster who attended my parent's church, the poor dear was very off putting in her manner, and this is probably why she had never had a man in her life. When the 'peace' was introduced she must have thought all her prayers had been answered, she got to kiss lots of men every Sunday!

Soon men got wise to her, and I was told just before the 'peace' there was a mass exodus to the gents!

Surely a handshake is all that is required, not an orgy?

 

[FreezBee]

Don't believe all stories you are told!

I live in a country where this custom is unknown - here a man is not allowed even to talk to a woman under any circumstance and certainly not to kiss her!

On day when I was in the railway station, a woman came over to me and asked for some money. She offered me a kiss on the cheek in return. I gave her some money, but said that she did not need to give me that kiss on the cheek. Having things the other way around would be impossible - a man asking a woman for money and offering her a kiss on her cheek, not even imaginable. If a man tried that, well, when he the next day woke up on the hospital, he would know the difference between men and women.


- FreezBee

 

[Skydancing]

The 'Peace' is given in Anglican churches in the UK it is meant to offer your neighbour in the pew a blessing, but as I said it can turn into something a lot more than that!

 

[LiberatedChick]

All that happens in my church and another church I've visited in my town is people shake hands. Most get up and wander around and shake hands with lots of people besides those just sitting nearby and the vicar works his/her way to the back of the church shaking hands with everyone as they go.

I've never seen hugging and kissing during the peace...I think if I did I'd probably avoid church like the plague, I'm not a huggy, kissy person at all. bleurgh

 

[Athene]

Never heard of it, must be some weird southern custom

 

[loriersea]

I've attended several churches where people hug rather than shake hands, even hugging newcomers, and where people will kiss, although I've never seen anyone kiss on the mouth! While I don't find it uncomfortable because of the physical contact part, I do think it's a bit uncomfortable when there is a very long, very affectionate peace when you are new to a church. I've attended churches where the peace is like a mini-social hour, and can literally go on for 10-15 minutes as people greet everyone in the church, and catch up on how people have been doing. When you are new, that is always awkward, because what are you supposed to do? Do you stand there or sit down? Do you walk around to greet people, or stay where you are? It's just an awkward situation, for me, anyway.

 

[LiberatedChick]

When I was new to the whole thing...I just followed what everyone else did! If that meant standing up and singing..or sitting down and praying or going around shaking hands...then I did it. I didn't feel particulary awkward...but I know I would have if it involved hugging and kissing. Only my hubby and family get hugs and kisses off me.

 

[LiberatedChick]

Do you walk around to greet people, or stay where you are?

In my church we tend to walk around a bit...I've heard some visiting pastor say "I hear that here you tend to "go on safari""...meaning that we tend to wander round all over the place. Me though....well I've only got to the end of my pew, after that there's no room to move!

 

[DaveS]

I've always found the peace in my church (hand shakes) to be a chance to stretch your legs and wake up after the sermon... followed by a rousing communion hymn!

Good tonic for a bad sermon!

 

[rowena]

In my church the "greet your neighbor" part of the service is before the sermon, but we only shake hands. I'm fairly antisocial (my leaving the house to even attend church is pretty remarkable) so I'm uncomfortable during this part. I can't imagine having to hug or kiss people. I think I would run out of the sactuary in tears!

 

[Skydancing]

I feel uncomfortable during the 'peace' Rowena, and I don't attend church often either.

 

[FreezBee]

The 'Peace' is given in Anglican churches in the UK it is meant to offer your neighbour in the pew a blessing, but as I said it can turn into something a lot more than that!

Ok, so it is a problem with limitations The simple solution: don't visit an Anlican church in the Uk!


- FreezBee

 

[Skydancing]

My daughter is an Anglican priest and the only time I go to church is when I attend one of her services. However her church isn't too bad in this respect!

 

[ottaia]

We just shake hands. That is fine with me! I thnk we often become too familiar too soon. I don't like being hugged by people I don't know and I don't hug people I don't know.

 

[karen freeinchristman]

In my church (Anglican), we don't all hug and kiss each other, it's just shaking hands and saying, "peace be with you". I only give a kiss on the cheek to my hubby and perhaps close friends (male or female), no groping!!! It's not really meant to be a greeting, we are meant to be saying "the peace of the Lord be with you", as a previous poster commented, it's more like a blessing or even a reassurance. It can get out of hand in terms of people walking around trying to do the peace with each person, when there are 80 people, but I think we should be taught occasionally what it is meant for. It is part of our Holy Communion liturgy, and brings to mind the corporate nature of our worship.

 

[MoodyBlue]

I am glad to see that I am not the only one who is uncomfortable with this practice. I really dislike the whole "passing the peace" ritual. I don't like hugging anyone other than family, but we have a bunch of folks in our church who will grab ahold of you whether you like it or not. I also think it is an excuse for a few of the lecherous men in the congregation to get some cheap thrills. If I could find a way to slip out the door while the "peace" is going on, I would do so. Makes my skin crawl just thinking about it.

 

[Skydancing]

I am so glad I am not the only one to find the 'peace' uncomfortable!

 

[Casstranquility]

I was uncomfortable with the passing of the peace when I first started going to my church almost two years ago, but after a while, I got used to it. We usually only shake hands, but there are a few people who will hug me, who I don't mind hugging me, because they are my friends, and besides that, I like hugs. I usually only hug those who hug me. There isn't any kissing going on as far as I can see. Wow, now THAT would make me uncomfortable.

 

[Abiel]

One of the reasons I left the CofE. I hated the peace. Not only because it was embarrassing, but also because it was the most hypocritcal and pointless action.

 

[ottaia]

Found this! Thought those of you who do not like passing the peace would find it helpful

http://www.oldlutheran.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=OL&Product_Code=1300&Category_Code=PPPP