The outward appearance of Christian, the inner liar

[IceDove]

It used to be so easy, to repent and start anew. This past 5 months lies have set in, with pretence of being Christian. I dont pray anymore, (how can a total hypocrit?) I seek attention in such stupid ways I cant say here. I am mental inside, whilst on the outside everyone thinks I am such a 'GOODIE two shoes'. Even today I received gift of a beautiful hand made cross worked for hours in cotton by someone who 'thinks' I am closer to God tahn them.

To tell the truth, I know that I am in hell, both here and in eternally.

At first I could ask for strength and ask for true repentance and move on, now sin has gripped my life and I see no way out.

I know it takes a sincere prayer, and a turn about. That's theory and in reality whilst I am doing just that, those tiny words of doubt take over....saying...."you will be at it again tomorrow" your addicted.

typing this helps, I hate this

BM

 

[Droobie]

Hi BM,

Welcome to CF. I can imagine that you're going through a rough time. I know that being a Christian is not easy. In fact it can be harder than being a non-Christian. The road we walk is narrow, but God will always be there for us when we truly call to Him. Hang in there!

 

[seangoh]

All of us need hope. The someone who gave you that cross found hope when he/she thought you were close to God, the hope that God provides and can satisfy. And it's our challenge to strive a good relationship with God. We are at different degrees and through time we go closer to God if only we make the effort. Don't give up because along the way, various people will look up to you and you be might be instrumental for their presence in heaven.

 

[all47154]

It doesn't matter what anyone and everyone thinks what matters is what God thinks and I believe you know this. The thing is we are all flesh and bone (God isn't) he knows our hearts and our minds You may not be as mental as you think we all fall short of glory but if we are willing to let the lift us up and to change us inside out it will happen. Forwhat ever reason you may feel you are a hypocit ask the Lord for forgivness take your burdens to him and he will strighten it Out. No one sin is bigger than another He loves us no matter what we do but satan has a way of decieving us to a point that we began to like we can't be forgiven or even saved NOT TRUE I don't know your problem but I am going to pray for you. God Bless

 

[all47154]

Don't give in to that tiny little voice of decite it is satan himself YES satan himself, Your much stronger than that This is a form of spiritual warfare and its a shame that some christains don't believe in this but its true Ephesians 6: Tell us that our stuggle is not against flesh and blood but against the rulers against the authorities against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the Heavenly realms. Yes I am praying for you. And I am here to tell you that the Gates of Hell shall not prevail. You are much stronger in the Lord don't worry if you did someone wrong don't worry if someone done you wrong ask the Lord to give you strength ask the Lord to take over the problem and fix it Believe it He has Mighty Tools.....I'm praying for you May the Lord Bless you in Many ways...........................

 

[IceDove]

All of us need hope. The someone who gave you that cross found hope when he/she thought you were close to God, the hope that God provides and can satisfy. And it's our challenge to strive a good relationship with God. We are at different degrees and through time we go closer to God if only we make the effort. Don't give up because along the way, various people will look up to you and you be might be instrumental for their presence in heaven.

Thats just it, I am instrumental, talking the talk and counselling myself to others, even giving talks around churches to help others.

Mat 7:21-24 speaks of me ....

I have been Christian for 5 years.

year 1, I read and read and read the Bible, went to dicipleship, prayed and meditated on what I read. I even gave up work to attnd Bible College.

year 2. Same, only much more active, beginning to reach others with my talents (God Given).

year 3. Started to get bogged down in doctrinal differences and church hopping.

year 4. There is no perfect church, so rested and got involved. Sin took a grip in this year but was able to come to points of total repentance ...the roller coaster Christian.

year 5. Is now, where my desire to sin and be this wonderful outward caring Christian, walk hand in hand. A total hypocrit. I feel I have lost my hope of salvation but still feel for those around me very much and continue to share the good news.

Pitiful isn't it?

BM

 

[Rafael]

Thats just it, I am instrumental, talking the talk and counselling myself to others, even giving talks around churches to help others.

Mat 7:21-24 speaks of me ....

I have been Christian for 5 years.

year 1, I read and read and read the Bible, went to dicipleship, prayed and meditated on what I read. I even gave up work to attnd Bible College.

year 2. Same, only much more active, beginning to reach others with my talents (God Given).

year 3. Started to get bogged down in doctrinal differences and church hopping.

year 4. There is no perfect church, so rested and got involved. Sin took a grip in this year but was able to come to points of total repentance ...the roller coaster Christian.

year 5. Is now, where my desire to sin and be this wonderful outward caring Christian, walk hand in hand. A total hypocrit. I feel I have lost my hope of salvation but still feel for those around me very much and continue to share the good news.

Pitiful isn't it?

BM

We are all weak in the flesh, and when sin gets a toehold in our lives it tries to destroy our faith. Remember that when our hearts condemn us, that God is even greater than our hearts, and His covenant to us He will not break. Grow in grace and DO NOT give up on the grace that He has given you to grow up in. It is by this grace of the blood of the lamb and the testimony you have given here - that you are miserable with the sin in your life - that will save you. The blood and your testimony. DO NOT cast away your confidence in Him. He is faithful, and although you may think yourself unworthy as His servant, He can set things straight.
Keep on repenting and refreshing yourself with His Word. Do your best to escape the sin that has caught up with you or incircled you. God will provide a way out.
Sin dwells in the flesh, and the old nature always desires to sin and have its way, but your spirit, even now and before us here, has moaned with the discomfort it feels being next to sin and rebellion.....so this is evidence of His Holy Spirit working in you. Again try harder to escape whatever is holding you up, and if God has to intervene, it may not be a pleasant experience, as chastisement never is much fun to go through, but is for our own good and can save us from death.
By your testimony here, I don't think God is even close to being done with you. If you feel led, PM me. I've been there and done that....
God bless.....and HANG IN THERE!

1 John 3:20 For if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things.

Galatians 5:17 (LIV) For we naturally love to do evil things that the Holy Spirit tells us not to do; and the good things we want to do when the Holy Spirit has His way with us are just the opposite of our natural desires. These two forces within us are constantly fighting each other to win control over us, and our wishes are never free from their pressures.
Gal 5:17 For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would.

1 Corinthians 10:13 There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Romans 7:18 For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not.
19 For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do.
20 Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.

 

[seangoh]

year 4. There is no perfect church, so rested and got involved. Sin took a grip in this year but was able to come to points of total repentance ...the roller coaster Christian.

IceDove, with regards to church hopping and finding that right one for yourself, i believe there is because there are thousands of different churches out there and certainly one of them has to reflect what you believe too. Just lay out your beliefs and start looking. You may need to ask people too. I know of a family who laid out what they believed and after 1 year of searching, found our church recently. She was so happy she got here because she can truly practise what she believed and be a part of like-minded people. I heard her young son, only 10 is so knowledgable with the Bible that the teacher was impressed. He was checking every statement the teacher made with the Bible. Amazing?I thought it was excellent parental upbringing by using the Bible as a science book and storybook. So don't give up hope yet. You will find what you're looking for if you continue to seek.

year 5. Is now, where my desire to sin and be this wonderful outward caring Christian, walk hand in hand. A total hypocrit. I feel I have lost my hope of salvation but still feel for those around me very much and continue to share the good news.

I am in a similar situation as you but i'm getting out of it. Yet all this time i've not looked away from God because i know that without God i will be worse off than before by not trusting His strength and using it for myself. All this time God has used me to witness to others too and i used to wonder why God uses a broken and sinful person who hasn't got his act cleaned up. The reason is because God is merciful and loving. He loves people and wants to use all the people He has which serve and keep their faith in Him to help other people. Helping others can be part of the therapeutic process too. However, one downfall is we may give out too much but not take care of ourselves. Rightly, we should react by taking in of the knowledge and love of God through bible study and prayer or scripture memorization. Do what it takes to get your life sorted with God once again and continue what you do outside. God wills that all should not perish and that means He wants as many people as possible to get to heaven. If only non-hypocrits could spread the gospel, then the kingdom would sadly be very tiny. Focus on the expansion of His kingdom and taking care of yourself at the same time. There's much work to do as the harvest is aplenty and workers few.

 

[themessenger]

Enter into the wounds of Christ Jesus.
he suffered pain we cannot begin to fathom. It is only when we enter his scars that we can be renewed. The deeper you go........................

Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the priceless gain of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I may have Christ
Phillipians 3:8

 

[desi]

year 5. Is now, where my desire to sin and be this wonderful outward caring Christian, walk hand in hand. A total hypocrit. I feel I have lost my hope of salvation but still feel for those around me very much and continue to share the good news.

Pitiful isn't it?

BM

Can one knowingly and actively sin in one area of their life and be a fine upstanding Christian throughout the rest of their life? Aye, there's the rub.

 

[Techbot]

Thats just it, I am instrumental, talking the talk and counselling myself to others, even giving talks around churches to help others.

Mat 7:21-24 speaks of me ....

I have been Christian for 5 years.

year 1, I read and read and read the Bible, went to dicipleship, prayed and meditated on what I read. I even gave up work to attnd Bible College.

year 2. Same, only much more active, beginning to reach others with my talents (God Given).

year 3. Started to get bogged down in doctrinal differences and church hopping.

year 4. There is no perfect church, so rested and got involved. Sin took a grip in this year but was able to come to points of total repentance ...the roller coaster Christian.

year 5. Is now, where my desire to sin and be this wonderful outward caring Christian, walk hand in hand. A total hypocrit. I feel I have lost my hope of salvation but still feel for those around me very much and continue to share the good news.

Pitiful isn't it?

BM

Wow...welcome to my world IceDove. Although I lasted a bit longer. I was saved in 1989 and I actually started falling in 1996-1997. By the year 2000 I stopped going to churches altogether. I visit once in awhile now.

Now for the good news. My "banning" from the ministries I enjoyed gave me time to myself. I look back now and see that although I may have been speaking the word of God to these others there was no substance to my words. Were they really getting "fed"? An atheist can sit here and read a bible to me, but it doesn't have the same impact and meaning as if a born again believer is reading it to me. There is a different heart, a different spirit reciting those words. Does that make any sense?

Here in the past few months I've begun to seek anew my relationship with God. I look back at my past doubts, then I look at the overwhelming evidence that God does in fact exist. All the seeds of doubt about Christianity are slowly being replaced.
If you doubt the authenticity of the bible, or the divinity of Jesus, I'd recommend reading Grant Jeffereys "Signature of God". Its just a "hands down, here are the numbers and scientific stats" kind of book. I've always been a logical "let me see it or prove it to me so I can believe it" kind of peson. This book does that.

Feel free to PM me...sounds like we're walking the same path right now.

 

[tapero]

Deleted by Tapero

 

[renegade pariah]

We all fall short of following the teachings of Christ, and part of the problem is that we have been conditioned in the ways of the world and developerd unhalthy attitudes and habits. In order to survive the judgements of others we often develop an outer persona for social situations that allows us to survive any condemnation. Perception by others will not see through the masks that have developed, that is why it can be good to share inner conflict with a trusted spiritual advisor or leader. Being able to self-disclose and trust others with your weaknesses may allow them to share and learn about their own. Honesty is a virtue.

 

[renegade pariah]

We all fall short of following the teachings of Christ, and part of the problem is that we have been conditioned in the ways of the world and developerd unhealthy attitudes and habits. In order to survive the judgements of others we often develop an outer persona for social situations that allows us to survive any condemnation. Perception by others will not see through the masks that have developed, that is why it can be good to share inner conflict with a trusted spiritual advisor or leader. Being able to self-disclose and trust others with your weaknesses may allow them to share and learn about their own. Honesty is a virtue.