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the new phenomena of "ghosting" and should we Christian do it?
- Thread starter TravelerFarAwayFromHome
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Ezeretane
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strange
i 've never been "ghosted" but i think it tells a lot about our society: refusal of responsability and be honest with each other
As christian, i hope we'll be able to show another way of treating people. it will help show them how important they are for God, that no one deserves such treatment
but i'm probably too "fleur bleue " or naive but i prefer staying that way and hope.
i 've never been "ghosted" but i think it tells a lot about our society: refusal of responsability and be honest with each other
As christian, i hope we'll be able to show another way of treating people. it will help show them how important they are for God, that no one deserves such treatment
but i'm probably too "fleur bleue " or naive but i prefer staying that way and hope.
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Travelers.Soul
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I think that sort of behavior is disrespectful and hurtful. I am sure it is tempting just to disappear but we should always do what's right even if it's difficult. It's better to be upfront and honest than to keep someone guessing and hoping. I find it interesting that the people who ghost someone would be hurt or confused if they were treated in a similar manner. I do not believe that such behavior is Christlike at all. Easy? Yes. Right? No.
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seashale76
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Oh, dear Lord. I'm so glad I dated and was married before things came to this. I feel for people today, I really do. I've never heard of this 'ghosting' thing before. I find this type of behavior to be cowardly, reprehensible, and completely lacking in empathy. If you don't want to continue in a relationship with someone then man or woman up and be honest. End things cleanly. There is nothing Christian about this phenomenon.
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Travelers.Soul
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Yes, absolutely. I realize telling someone you're not interested or you don't think it will work out is difficult but in the end it is better to be upfront. I am sure the other person would much rather have the truth than be left wondering what happened or where you went. It just shows how things have changed in society over the last few years. I would hope Christians would treat each other with more compassion and respect but that isn't always the case.
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JCFantasy23
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Never heard this term. It's just a way to label a cowardly act from the looks of it.
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nomadictheist
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Whatever else "ghosting" may be, it certainly isn't appropriate behavior for a Christian. But it's not limited (unfortunately) to the world of dating.
Ghosting is a simple method to avoid dealing with the consequences of one's actions. It allows a person to take the easy way out, never having to give a reason for playing with the others' heart. And, perhaps, allows the person the illusion that it wasn't really that bad.
In my experience, the type of people who would do that type of thing are the ones who don't get very far in life.
Ghosting is a simple method to avoid dealing with the consequences of one's actions. It allows a person to take the easy way out, never having to give a reason for playing with the others' heart. And, perhaps, allows the person the illusion that it wasn't really that bad.
In my experience, the type of people who would do that type of thing are the ones who don't get very far in life.
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NoMoreTearsWithJesus
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A Christian should, know better! although this does happen and it is one of the worst feelings..
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Ezeretane
Newbie
It's probably easier to avoid commitment to a relationship which is non sense in a world that cry for love. we are leaving in a world where everything is available as soon as we think about it : we have to get things quickly and perfectly. So we are becoming more and more dependant of technology. The tiny problem is that human being can work as electronic . relationships need time and effort and commitment. You can get hurt but you can also make beautiful encounters!!!
i don't get why people would like otherwise. The Facebook mentality is killing our the significance of genuine friendship ( but i'll stop right there : i've never had a account so i should not talk about something i don't know lol)
why would someone do that sort of thing? selfishness probably .Some people don't know how to value the love and attention you gave them: they think that because it's free, it's cheap and easy . But i'd say it's free because you can't put a price on love, compassion, forgiveness or else. rather not name a price then devaluate it
well it makes me think about Christ and the Cross and that makes me so proud to be christian : i'm definitely not better than those gosthing-people but at least i have a savior who shows me everyday how to champion
(sorry for my english)
i don't get why people would like otherwise. The Facebook mentality is killing our the significance of genuine friendship ( but i'll stop right there : i've never had a account so i should not talk about something i don't know lol)
why would someone do that sort of thing? selfishness probably .Some people don't know how to value the love and attention you gave them: they think that because it's free, it's cheap and easy . But i'd say it's free because you can't put a price on love, compassion, forgiveness or else. rather not name a price then devaluate it
well it makes me think about Christ and the Cross and that makes me so proud to be christian : i'm definitely not better than those gosthing-people but at least i have a savior who shows me everyday how to champion
(sorry for my english)
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SoulMiasma
Active Member
There's a lot to be said about this.
First, let me get this out of the way: if someone you are talking to is making you uncomfortable, there's nothing wrong with ending it quickly (and even subtly) for the sake of your safety. However, if you're just not that in to them, then you should be upfront. People seem to abhor that idea these days though. I'm not asking for handholding and to explain to me everything I did wrong, but I really appreciate a simple "This isn't going to work and we shouldn't go forward."
Ghosting has happened to me a lot. I've experienced many people telling me I am a wonderful person, and that they'd love to be a part of my life. Then they suddenly disappear. Just poof. No hints. No warnings. Nothing at all that would suggest something is wrong. Nothing to suggest they were dissatisfied. It's frustrating. I still think about it a lot. I wonder what was going on for them to just disappear. It completely baffles me. I have a hard time trusting people since; I often keep myself guarded when people say they value me and want me to be a part of their lives. Because there's always a chance they are just saying that.
If anything, I've grown a strong fondness for people who are blunt, even if a bit rough and rude. I've dealt with enough people telling me everything is fine when things clearly aren't that I actually trust those who are blunt more. So when they tell me they appreciate me, I know they mean it.
But ghosting really is just a sign of our convenience culture. It's so easy to sift through people. We are losing our humanity.
First, let me get this out of the way: if someone you are talking to is making you uncomfortable, there's nothing wrong with ending it quickly (and even subtly) for the sake of your safety. However, if you're just not that in to them, then you should be upfront. People seem to abhor that idea these days though. I'm not asking for handholding and to explain to me everything I did wrong, but I really appreciate a simple "This isn't going to work and we shouldn't go forward."
Ghosting has happened to me a lot. I've experienced many people telling me I am a wonderful person, and that they'd love to be a part of my life. Then they suddenly disappear. Just poof. No hints. No warnings. Nothing at all that would suggest something is wrong. Nothing to suggest they were dissatisfied. It's frustrating. I still think about it a lot. I wonder what was going on for them to just disappear. It completely baffles me. I have a hard time trusting people since; I often keep myself guarded when people say they value me and want me to be a part of their lives. Because there's always a chance they are just saying that.
If anything, I've grown a strong fondness for people who are blunt, even if a bit rough and rude. I've dealt with enough people telling me everything is fine when things clearly aren't that I actually trust those who are blunt more. So when they tell me they appreciate me, I know they mean it.
But ghosting really is just a sign of our convenience culture. It's so easy to sift through people. We are losing our humanity.
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rickster
Member
Ghosting is a inconsiderate thing to do to someone. I am not trying to defend it. But a reason why people ghost is to avoid angry responses. If you reject someone via a instant/text message you might get stream of disturbing replies back.
If you search the internet for "creepy pms" you will find a lot of hostile messages from males towards females. There are some creepy female messages, but it's mostly from males.
The anecdotal evidence is that if you ghost someone, you'll have less of a chance of being harassed via message.
If you search the internet for "creepy pms" you will find a lot of hostile messages from males towards females. There are some creepy female messages, but it's mostly from males.
The anecdotal evidence is that if you ghost someone, you'll have less of a chance of being harassed via message.
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Ezeretane
Newbie
it could be a part of the answer. But it seems weird to me to talk with someone and be committed to a relationship with someone you know can be hostile if you don't agree with him. i think we should me more careful how much we trust someone. Talking for ours doesn't always mean something on the internet : you don't face the person so it's easy to fake or lie or please etc... People should definitely be more careful not because they are wrong ( they are the actual victims) because those things exist and we have to behave in consequences
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Ezeretane
Newbie
It's exactly what that kind of thing are doing to us : diminishing our self confidence. Tomorrow one could meet someone and assume a lot about the way the person behave with or talk to her/him because of that kind of experiences. I know it's complicated but we need to keep being vulnerable to be able to have healthy relationship and maybe have discernement at chosing our friends ( i still need practice on that one)
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Ubuntu
wayfaring stranger
Hmmm... If you're emotionally invested in another person, it would be wrong to disappear without giving any sort of explanation why. Sure, we all dislike unpleasant confrontations, but being accountable is part of being an adult. Simply disappearing sounds rather immature.
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SoulMiasma
Active Member
In the article by the original poster, it happened after meeting the parents and having a conversation about the relationship. That's pretty invested for someone to ghost. So it does happen, even with more emotional investment.
I get not talking to someone again after a single date, or exchanging a few messages. But at the stage described in the article, there should've been communication!
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