Addressed to new Christians (and, if you're new yourself and have a bit o' something to add, go right ahead):
I would just like to reflect on some of the things I've encountered on my path as a new Christian (saved June '06) and the things God has taught me, not to brag, but merely to illuminate the strange journey that is Christianity and hopefully - just maybe - relate enough to a concern you may have. If anyone has any wisdom to add, that would be appreciated.
When I began, I was fearful of choosing the wrong path. I was even border-lining hatred against denominations for making Christianity so very confusing and spreading the word of God over such a large spectrum.
I also had this attitude toward sin: Yes, I am a sinner, but I'm going to heaven because of Jesus. Right now, let me do as much as I can...
...though, I was worried that my motives of "doing things" would be driven by a rank system, that is to say, I was worried that I would be doing things for God in order to establish myself a high rank in heaven.
Confused as I was, the messages from preachers seemed to add and subtract things to the "how to be saved" instruction manual and it became an increasingly confusing formula. This was the first barrier God broke in my life.
God helped me realize that "legalism" (I.E. - "do this and this and this and this will happen, assured) as pertained to salvation and Christianity was only yet another barrier - disguised as something holy and needed. I, at the time, said my dwelling on these legalistic worries was a "worshiping of Christianity rather than God", and I still stand by that. As I said, it tends to be a hard thing to spot, but stay the path and I'm sure the spirit will guide you true.
My next problem was with faith. What was faith? Where could I aqquire it? Do I have enough? Faith is merely trusting without knowing the full details. I realized, by the help of the spirit, that I must do this: gather the keys to your life, all of them, even the smallest ones, and stick them on a big ol' ring. Next, toss them to God. That's all faith really is.
I suggest reading 1 Kings and 2 Kings. At least for me, God revealed the severity of the situation. Over these few weeks I've been very depressed because I lost assurance over my own salvation due to the severity of my sins and the finality of the Judgements of God. Tears, headaches, unrested nights with no end were the hallmark. God brought me lower than I have ever been - and from this, he enabled me to understand Grace. I didn't care about eternal life, I just wanted a small peice of mercy from God, anything, a bread crumb of righteousness. As I read onto Ezekiel - a verse forced me to pause, after comparing Israel to a harlot, God explained that he would still show mercy and forgiveness and that it would leave them breathless. Only then I realized the true meaning of the Grace of God.
My point is that there are painful spots that kick up anxiety and fear, as I have learned over the months. Do not try to comfort them away, no matter how much you want to (I never understood God until I saw what He was doing afterward), but rather embrace them. God will bring you low so that you may be exceedingly joyful and glorify what he has done.
I know it's kinda a repetative point of advise but... study the scripture. God may use it as a tool to break your hard heart.
Pray for wisdom, even if it means pain.
Pray for Christ-likeness, even if the forging is harsh.
If the path becomes too easy, think on where you stand.
God bless you, thank you for reading this.
I would just like to reflect on some of the things I've encountered on my path as a new Christian (saved June '06) and the things God has taught me, not to brag, but merely to illuminate the strange journey that is Christianity and hopefully - just maybe - relate enough to a concern you may have. If anyone has any wisdom to add, that would be appreciated.
When I began, I was fearful of choosing the wrong path. I was even border-lining hatred against denominations for making Christianity so very confusing and spreading the word of God over such a large spectrum.
I also had this attitude toward sin: Yes, I am a sinner, but I'm going to heaven because of Jesus. Right now, let me do as much as I can...
...though, I was worried that my motives of "doing things" would be driven by a rank system, that is to say, I was worried that I would be doing things for God in order to establish myself a high rank in heaven.
Confused as I was, the messages from preachers seemed to add and subtract things to the "how to be saved" instruction manual and it became an increasingly confusing formula. This was the first barrier God broke in my life.
God helped me realize that "legalism" (I.E. - "do this and this and this and this will happen, assured) as pertained to salvation and Christianity was only yet another barrier - disguised as something holy and needed. I, at the time, said my dwelling on these legalistic worries was a "worshiping of Christianity rather than God", and I still stand by that. As I said, it tends to be a hard thing to spot, but stay the path and I'm sure the spirit will guide you true.
My next problem was with faith. What was faith? Where could I aqquire it? Do I have enough? Faith is merely trusting without knowing the full details. I realized, by the help of the spirit, that I must do this: gather the keys to your life, all of them, even the smallest ones, and stick them on a big ol' ring. Next, toss them to God. That's all faith really is.
I suggest reading 1 Kings and 2 Kings. At least for me, God revealed the severity of the situation. Over these few weeks I've been very depressed because I lost assurance over my own salvation due to the severity of my sins and the finality of the Judgements of God. Tears, headaches, unrested nights with no end were the hallmark. God brought me lower than I have ever been - and from this, he enabled me to understand Grace. I didn't care about eternal life, I just wanted a small peice of mercy from God, anything, a bread crumb of righteousness. As I read onto Ezekiel - a verse forced me to pause, after comparing Israel to a harlot, God explained that he would still show mercy and forgiveness and that it would leave them breathless. Only then I realized the true meaning of the Grace of God.
My point is that there are painful spots that kick up anxiety and fear, as I have learned over the months. Do not try to comfort them away, no matter how much you want to (I never understood God until I saw what He was doing afterward), but rather embrace them. God will bring you low so that you may be exceedingly joyful and glorify what he has done.
I know it's kinda a repetative point of advise but... study the scripture. God may use it as a tool to break your hard heart.
Pray for wisdom, even if it means pain.
Pray for Christ-likeness, even if the forging is harsh.
If the path becomes too easy, think on where you stand.
God bless you, thank you for reading this.
