The Mary Poppins Theory (seeking)

[Stanfi]

How do you know that the kid can make better decisions? Speaking from experience, romantically inclined decisions are rarely level-headed. Far better to have someone partially overseeing the process.

To be honest, the in the situation I was thinking of, it wasn't exaclty a kid. The "kid" was 30 years old.

 

[Risen Tree]

Okay then. The claim still holds: People are notorious for making irrational decisions when romantic ties become heavy.

 

[mina]

What if you don't have your parents guidence? Some people don't. and some people have abusive parents or absent parents or just plain crazy parents. My parents aren't exactly Christians and they do some things that aren't very good. I would hate for anyone to judge me and my potential to be a good mate based on my parents.

 

[ananar23]

Yeah, but what if your parents are divorced and well, how can you trust their advice? hmmm....anyway, i would love to meet a guy in a place like the library. i also wouldnt mind meeting a guy while having tea at a coffee shop, or at church, or sitting in the park writing and reading. i can understand your situation with the country, because the town i live in is pretty small. so yeah, a females prospective on where to meet a female. no bars, no games....simple places....but still classy. maybe you could go to the courting couples forum, or the marriage forum and ask them where they met their spouses/signifigant others....just a thought.
God bless!

 

[Risen Tree]

These are two very good questions.

mina:

I believe that parental guidance is arguably the ideal solution, not the automatic solution. I am very sorry to hear that you have some rough parents; if it's ever bad enough that need someone to talk to about it, drop by this forum. Anyway, your case is proof that parental guidance is not a one-size-fits-all model.

ananar:

Divorce would hamper your parents' voice on selecting a mate, wouldn't it? This may be a stretch, but perhaps you could seek out a mentor who is a generation older than you who has kept her marriage vows since day one.

 

[Stanfi]

Yeah, but what if your parents are divorced and well, how can you trust their advice? hmmm....anyway, i would love to meet a guy in a place like the library. i also wouldnt mind meeting a guy while having tea at a coffee shop, or at church, or sitting in the park writing and reading. i can understand your situation with the country, because the town i live in is pretty small. so yeah, a females prospective on where to meet a female. no bars, no games....simple places....but still classy. maybe you could go to the courting couples forum, or the marriage forum and ask them where they met their spouses/signifigant others....just a thought.
God bless!

Already did it!!

 

[ananar23]

All of that? Wow your quick....

 

[mina]

hmmm i'm not exactly sure what you are saying to me. I'm damaged goods? I'm a lost cause? Just what are you saying?

I'm not depressed about my parents. I am a Christian and I have hope for them. I believe in a God of miracles. I just think it's sad that a guy (or girl) would judge another person or deem them unworthy based on their parents. No one has the "perfect" family life. I think that people should be picky in the affairs of the heart and really look at the person and their individual life. Some of the most wonderful , most Godly people I have ever known have come from less than ideal homes. They were saved in their teens or young adulthood and God really turned them into something amazing for His glory. They have amazing marriages and families, even though their parents didn't raise them in a Godly home. Don't rule out the strong Christians out there just cause y ou don't like thier parents.

 

[ananar23]

I hope people dont judge others on their parents. My dad used to get drunk and throw knives at us. He never got us, but the idea kind of scares me. Mina, your cool dont listen. I mean hey, I am fairly normal....okay, so a little bit normal and my parents were psychos. okay now im feeling a bit down...

 

[wonder111]

I've also witnessed parents who were trying to convince the 'adult child' that they should marry someone who was obviously not suited for the person. I think it depends on the family. I know some people who are so different from their parents that you would think they were raised by a different one.

 

[mina]

don't feel bad!!! People can be different from their parents. satan and the world tries to tell us that we can never escape the mistakes our parents made, but NOTHING is impossible with God! Jesus is our hope, our only hope!!! I don't think i would want someone who judged me based on my parents. I'm sure glad Jesus doesn't do that!

 

[Stanfi]

I don't think we should judge people based upon their parents. We are all individuals, and who we are today is a result of many influences on our lives, not just our parents.

 

[Risen Tree]

Let me get back to you. What I was attempting to say came out wrong.

 

[Risen Tree]

When we are born, we receive our innate potential from our biological parents. Potential is the capacity, not the automatic decision, to grow and behave in certain ways. Oddly enough, it is often a fine line between harmful and beneficial behavior, and what tends to separate the two is whether good potential is used in good ways.

Changing our long-term behavior is difficult but doable; changing our innate potential is impossible. We are who we are; end of story.

Those of you who have parents that sometimes behaved in a poor manner, take heart. What you have seen is good potential gone horribly awry. A square peg cannot and will not fit into a round hole, and bad things happen when people try to force it through. The only way to get the peg through is to find a new hole.

Does this make sense, or am I speaking in tongues?

 

[mina]

Then you shouldn't judge anyone based on their parents. People are individuals. People who have bad parents can be worth knowing. And in fact may be the best person for you. The important thing is that each Christian follows God's leading in this area of life. Parents can be used to show us a good choice, but ultimately each person needs to know the voice of God and know how to recognize His leading.

 

[Risen Tree]

Yes and no. Judging your parents' potential--which can be used for good or evil--is fine. Blind judgment of their attitudes is wrong.

 

[mina]

That's why y ou need to know and recognize the leading of the Lord.

 

[Risen Tree]

Yes indeed, for He is the one true Judge.

 

[mbotz72]

I think I like the previous thoughts about a classy and simple place, rather than a bar. It seems like most people are drawn to something about nature, just being outdoors, hiking in the mountains, a stroll through the woods, or in the water. Parks, camping, health clubs are good places. A coffee shop or library would be interesting places to meet people also.

 

[bèlla]

.