The Lord's Prodigal Daughter!

[faroukfarouk]

It's just easier and quicker to smoke. Although I do hope to quit eventually.

Yes, I'm sure it is, if it works for you. (I did start a quit smoking type of thread, maybe I'll cut and paste it.)

If you have a deck and you're alone, it can be a good place to inhale.

 

[1watchman]

Many good thoughts here! All such troubles come down to what our relationship is with the Lord Jesus (not just that we know about Him). We must not take Him for granted. He said: "without Me ye can do nothing"; and we are called to be "...bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ" (2 Cor. 10:5). Satan is ever seeking to draw believers away from God, so we NEED to judge every bad thought and cling to the Savior ---our Lord Jesus. Without Him in our walk (as well as our life) we have no communion and blessings with our Creator-God. We surely must not be flirting with the world and playing with fire. Look up always and not to the world. I will pray for you, Karin

 

[Karin12414]

Many good thoughts here! All such troubles come down to what our relationship is with the Lord Jesus (not just that we know about Him). We must not take Him for granted. He said: "without Me ye can do nothing"; and we are called to be "...bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ" (2 Cor. 10:5). Satan is ever seeking to draw believers away from God, so we NEED to judge every bad thought and cling to the Savior ---our Lord Jesus. Without Him in our walk (as well as our life) we have no communion and blessings with our Creator-God. We surely must not be flirting with the world and playing with fire. Look up always and not to the world. I will pray for you, Karin

Thank you

It is still tough sometimes, but The Lord has been doing some serious looking out for my family and me I just keep pushing forward

 

[Darren Brown]

very cool testimony. A life changed by Jesus and a heart changed by Jesus!

 

[AnglicanPeace]

Great testimonial. Thanks for sharing! I could relate to parts of it too. God bless you and thank God you didn't lose your faith.

 

[LynnSmith]

When you grow up in a Church, it seems almost like you’re untouchable. It’s almost like you don’t need to have any worries, because you’ve had that relationship with God from basically the beginning. I felt this way all the way up until high school.
I made some really amazing friends that I will never forget, but some of them were people I should have known to just stay away from. They were always good people but wanted to do things like underage drinking and various "experimentation's". When faced with issues like whether or not to try the new drug my friends were trying, I would strongly object and tell them it just wasn’t for me. However, after a while they would say things like “you’re no fun” or “you’re making a big deal out of nothing.” It got to the point where I was more scared of losing my friends than sinning against God. I even remember thinking ‘its okay, He’ll forgive me, right?’
We started with Marijuana; it didn’t seem to cause any damage. I kept telling myself “this is how far you’ll go, that’s it,” but that wasn’t true. Next thing I knew we were trying Molly, Ecstasy, Cocaine and even Meth a few times. I didn’t think it could affect anything because we were just kids “having fun” and we weren’t hurting anybody.
I seemed to just keep pushing the line I wouldn’t cross further and further back till I found myself doing things that just made me feel worse and worse about myself. I found my “solace” in boys and drugs and it felt like I couldn’t stop. At this time I finished high school and now was in college and really exposed to the world and all the bad parts my friends wanted to experience, and I just went along for the ride.
I started to let my grades slip till I just eventually dropped out and it started effecting my involvement in church. I started missing a day here and there till all at once I started missing week after week.
Things started getting to a point where I just wasn’t feeling good about myself or anything anymore. When I would go to Church, I would leave feeling so guilty and ashamed because it seemed like EVERY Sunday was a sermon directed right at me and what I was doing. I knew I had to fix things. This wasn’t who I was when I first followed Jesus.
So, I told my friends that I didn’t want to do any of that stuff anymore and they seemed to just disappear from my side. I felt abandoned by people I truly thought were like family. It pushed me into a pretty deep depression and I just found myself “going through the motions” on the day to day. I started to feel angry because I couldn’t understand why I was feeling this way and going through this when I took the stand and said no more. I expected things to just magically turn around and just start back right from where I left off. But that isn’t how it works.
It took a really long time for me to finally accept that I was the one being selfish. There were things I wanted to happen, like I wanted to stop the lifestyle but keep the friends, or I wanted to jump right back into working in the Church as if I never left. I didn’t want to have to just sit there and wait for things to get back on track.
I remember going to Church one Sunday and feeling just so sorry for myself and like the world was out to get me. I went just to say I did and so my parents would leave me alone about it. I wasn’t really expecting to get anything out of it, but then the worship music started. First, we did a couple up beat songs, like usual, and then they started playing “Restore to Me”. I couldn’t help but listen to the words as I sang them.

"Hide your face from my sins
And cover my iniquities

Create in me a clean heart
And renew a right spirit
Within me

Don't cast me away from your presence
Don't take your spirit from me

Chorus
Restore to me
The joy of your salvation
Restore to me
The wonders of your love"

I felt my heart just melting at the sound of these words. They were so perfect to me because I just thought of David and how broken and bare he must have been in this moment. At this point, he has already been King for a while and given the gravity of his adultery and murder, he has fallen away from God to his lowest point. He knows everything wrong he has done in his life and fears the Holy Spirit has been removed from him. So, with all the pain in his heart and his desperate need to be right again, he goes before God completely vulnerable and open.
I felt like God put this song in the service just for me. I didn’t feel angry or hurt anymore. It wasn’t about what I did in the past; it wasn’t about my misdirected anger and feelings of betrayal and depression. It was about just wanting to feel God in me again. Nothing in the world mattered anymore. I felt such a huge weight come off of me. I knew I just needed to give everything back to Him and stop focusing on me. I felt so overwhelmed when the second verse started.

“Deliver me from this hour of darkness
And from the pain and the brokenness
And I will sing of your loving kindness
And of your righteousness”

I broke down in tears. This is exactly how I had been feeling this whole time, and just wasn’t at the point of surrender to allow my heart to see it. I was too busy being angry and hurt over things I chose to do on my own to realize that God had already moved past that. He wasn’t focused on everything wrong I had done up until now, He was just waiting for me to come back to Him so that He could show me the love I had been blindly looking for this whole time.
Once I gave up all of these unnecessary emotions, my life felt like it could truly start to get back on track. I reconnected with an old relationship and although it wasn’t easy, I was able to be open and myself with him and he accepted and loved me despite my “baggage” and now I am married to him with a beautiful daughter. I still struggle through the day to day sometimes, but I do not fear the future because I know I have a Great and Powerful Father watching over me with a plan that He designed solely for me so that I can glorify Him.
If I could give any advice, it would be to just stand your ground before you are too far gone. Don’t worry about what everyone else is doing. You are the only one who can decide whether you stand apart from the world and its temptations, or fall for everything that is presented to you. Things could have turned out a lot worse for me, but I made a choice to not be defined by my sin but overcome it.
If you are already going through things like this, just know that it isn’t the end for you. God hasn’t left you alone; He has been there the whole time with His arms wide open just waiting for you to fall back into them. Trust Him, and He will fill in the rest. He already promised

I apologize for the long post, but this is my story. I hope it is able to reach out to someone just like me, and help them see the light at the end of the LONG tunnel

God Bless!

This is beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing. Seeing what God can do is always so amazing.

 

[Ken Byrne]

Karin, I grew up in the Roman Catholic church. At age 65.....7 yrs ago, I became a "believer"....a born-again Christian. Now I am writing a book about salvation. People are contributing their personal story, bio of their life....what lead them to salvation and how it has changed their life since being saved. I would love to email you my personal story for you to read. Let's exchange email addresses, OK? Mine is byrneken3@gmail.com Thank you, Ken

 

[Karin12414]

Karin, I grew up in the Roman Catholic church. At age 65.....7 yrs ago, I became a "believer"....a born-again Christian. Now I am writing a book about salvation. People are contributing their personal story, bio of their life....what lead them to salvation and how it has changed their life since being saved. I would love to email you my personal story for you to read. Let's exchange email addresses, OK? Mine is byrneken3@gmail.com Thank you, Ken

Thank you for your reply! I don't really want to give out my personal email, but you are more than welcome to message me on here if you would like

Thank you again!

 

[C Smith]

I honestly still smoke it. I have pretty bad anxiety and OCD and it helps me calm down. No one would ever guess that I was involved in any of that stuff because I am so adamant about not messing up again. I hope to quit smoking eventually, but for now it is helping me be a little more in control. I have been studying meditation and am hoping to maybe get to a point where I can use that to calm my anxiety instead of the marijuana.

I'm still a work in progress but I'm working.

Hello Karin. What a lovely testimony!! I love to hear about someone as young as yourself coming (back) to Christ!! It took me over half my life; I came to Christ in April 2018 after or 20 years of living as a pagan and a practicing Wiccan. And I was baptized in my new church last March. How great is our God!!
I have a medical cannabis card in my state. I don't condone recreational use, and only take mine for pain relief and sleep- at night, before bed. I think it has a bright future medically, but any medication that has a desired side effect can and will be abused. That being said, it can be expensive going the legal route- though I was able to get my certification and card for free, the actual- and extremely limited- product available here is prohibitively expensive out of pocket.
In any case, all I was going to say was make sure you pray about it of you haven't already. If your use comes from pure motives and right reasons, our helper the HS will guide you on that and He will give you His answer on it if you ask. And if He gives a thumbs up, there's no guilt necessary!
The Lord bless you and keep you and your family!!!