the line

[Hediru]

Have you and your s/o or ex ever "crossed the line" (going further physically in the relationship than you'd like to)? If so, how did if affect your relationships after that point? Have you asked God forgiveness? Even more difficult, have you forgiven yourself?

 

[Hediru]

I had an ex who pushed me over my personal boundaries and that's all I'll say about that. I am still so ashamed. Now it makes me feel insecure in my current relationship. I know God has forgiven me, but I'm not sure I can forgive myself. The act wasn't intercourse, so I guess techincally I'm still a virgin, but the act I still believe should have been saved until marriage.

 

[MN John]

Dear Sister,

Yes, you can be pure from this point forward. The past is the past. You have repented and been forgiven and need to take what you have learned and leave the rest of it behind.

When you're in a relationship, don't assume that the two of you have the same boundaries ... talk about them. Agree where the boundaries are. I find that this draws a couple closer because they are respecting each other and honoring god together. Maintaining proprer physical boundaries allows you to keep a clearer head and develop a better communication. Because you are doing this for each other for the long term benefit of your relationship, you appreciate each other's willingness to put so much effort into giving the relationship its best chance at lasting and being successful.

I've crossed lines. My boundaries are pretty tight, so my line-crossing was not actually into territiory that most christians would even think should be off-limits at this stage of our relationship. But it is better to talk about it afterwards and figure out how to avoid the same thing happening again. It's not easy, but it is worth it!

 

[hasnoname]

My gf and I recently set our boundaries. I say recently because we originally set them without thought...we just went with what the world told us, and not what we were convicted of. But it definitely made us grow closer, because now we know how each other feel and it will be that much easier to respect the real boundaries that we set...not those the world set for us.

 

[melandshanetria]

I voted, Yes, Yes....

I'm not a virgin and have a very hideous past, but since I got saved and born-again, I've been celibate ever since and plan to remain that way until I'm married. It haven't been easy, but it's worth it. God will keep you if you want to be kept, you just have to pray and ask him to keep you. I did and I'm so happy that I'm learning to wait before sharing my body with a man again that isn't going to be apart of my life....

 

[MrsSeptemberPenguin]

Ok, while we may have crossed a boundary, we are both still virgins. Also, you can reclaim your purity.When God forgives he makes you pure again at least in his sight, which is all that really matters.

 

[undecided]

yep crossed it, and do.
i dunno- we are commited to each other even though i know thats not the way its meant to "work"

 

[Mr.Cheese]

I messed around with more than one.
I think the most important thing is to not pressure anyone into anything. I never forced the issue and I'm very thankful for that now. If I had done so I would live with way more regret than I can imagine.