The irony of college..

[p60]

the idea of studying with a girl is fine and all,

but another thing is that I am not a very productive studier when I am in a group situation, I do best by myself, and in fact, I only really get the job done well when I am by myself.

When I study with others I find I have to go back and look at the material on my own anyway. its basically about as productive as me hanging with a girl and not studying,
which is time that i instead need to spend on studying alone, so i can stay alive. you get what im saying?

 

[p60]

Yeah, you only get chicks when you don't want chicks. And don't try to fake like you don't want chicks, cos chicks can smell that on you. Wily devils. What I suggest is that you build up a healthy misogyny, like I have, so that not only do you not particularly want a girlfriend, but when you have one you'll be half-hearted about it and kind of miss being single, so when she inevitably breaks your heart and mashes it into fine pulp on the floor, you will feel slightly relieved.

Sorry, what was the question again?

My university semester starts in three days. I just spent $550 on books, I'm working 32 hours a week and doing five papers, one of which is Japanese, which I'm relatively hopeless at. I'm less worried about having time to meet chicks and more worried about having time to sleep.

no offense, but i cant understand people who do things like this. I mean, you dont have to do what you are currently doing to survive in this world, so why would you want to?

As far as getting priorities straight, here's what I think that means:
let there be time in your life for a girlfriend. Working yourself to the bone is no way of life.

 

[jo-shmo]

HHAAHAHHA! I know how you feel. I'd say cut back on hours. Once I took eighteen.....once.

 

[p60]

Okay,

I'm hearing all of your advice, and I'm trying to be reasonable here...
I have no fears about being the wrong man, or the idiot, so that would not be any reason as why I would ignore your advice.

But quite frankly, I just cannot possibly see the intelligence on giving up on women entirely and waiting for one to come to me.

Nor can I see the intelligence of throwing myself deep into a stack of books for the next 4 years, nor can I see myself ever capable of managing any type of class schedule here that would be economically worthwhile (lotsa credits), that would allow me to have enough of a GPA to keep my scholarship, and allow me to have enough time for hobbies, a social life, and getting a girlfriend (or should I say, loathing women, until one day one just magically falls out of the sky and into my lap)
Basically I see no hope in accomplishing what I want to do at this college, so I think I am going to transfer into a different school for next year.

Yes, I will have to say goodbye to all the hot Christian babes, and all the cool other Christians at the school that I could have a fun time hanging out with,
but,
you can't get everything in life. and some sacrifices have to be made.

(those who think I can get everything, by just making myself become 'more efficient' are just stupid)

 

[Zoot]

no offense, but i cant understand people who do things like this. I mean, you dont have to do what you are currently doing to survive in this world, so why would you want to?

Um, I'm loving my life.

As far as getting priorities straight, here's what I think that means:
let there be time in your life for a girlfriend. Working yourself to the bone is no way of life.

Girlfriends should definitely not be a top priority. Any relationship you get when you're desperate for a relationship is bound to go sideways. I'm happy having no time in my life for a girlfriend. I don't particularly want a girlfriend right now. I've had my fill of girls. I've had my fill of casual sex, I've had my fill of pleasant relationships.

Right now, I'm getting this degree out of the way so that I can go to Japan in the middle of next year, and I'm working to pay off my debt in the meantime. I enjoy my work, I love what I'm studying, and I have drinks at least once a week with some very good friends.

It is possible to enjoy life without a girlfriend, you know.

 

[jo-shmo]

It is possible to enjoy life without a girlfriend, you know.

Maybe thats the problem, he doesn't know.

 

[PastorFreud]

I think some of you are missing clues in the OP's story. He is at a conservative Christian college. This means no sex until he is married. If you wait until after graduation, you don't have a chance to find a mate. This could mean years of no sex.

So how will going to a non-Christian college change this? It will be cheaper, and I recommend doing the first two years there for that reason alone. But it might also allow for the opportunity of cognitive dissonance.

 

[Arkanin]

I have definitely been through it... definitely relate to you. It'll get easier at some point.

Working on my PhD has been easier than my earlier years were... for some odd reason. I don't know if that's typical. But if you're up to your eyeballs in work, just to keep up, it'll probably get better. Just make sure the major is what will make you happy.

Ask every girl you want to date, <insert here> out, even if you don't think you can succeed. Shoot high. And if that girl is just plain hot, it means a lot of guys are scared of her, and that gives you the upper hand. And when you get the beat down, and you will sometimes, laugh about it and go watch Beavis and Butthead with your friends. And then go ask another one out, and get a yes, and get some lovin'.

Detachment makes women want you. Detachment makes women who are in a long-term relationship with you unhappy, eventually leave you. Be detached but nice, early on. Love a girl you've been with a year if you want her to care about you. I've tried the stay detached thing, yes, it works, but your girlfriend will be unhappy. And that's not good, at least if you're one of those people that actually care. Or are getting serious about settling down.

Oh, and never talk to girls about the other girls you date. And if you don't commit to each other, there's no commitment you have to honor. Just be nice, they're humans too.

Oh, and always party. Join a frat if you want... they're actually nice people and good friends, if you pick a good one. We had a kegger last night

 

[PastorFreud]

Conservative Christian colleges don't have frats. And they don't have keggers. (Well, they do, but it is kept secret as it is grounds for expulsion.)

 

[Arkanin]

Conservative Christian colleges don't have frats. And they don't have keggers. (Well, they do, but it is kept secret as it is grounds for expulsion.)

Oh... bah... sorry.. I don't honestly know what to say upon this realization

I think some of you are missing clues in the OP's story. He is at a conservative Christian college. This means no sex until he is married. If you wait until after graduation, you don't have a chance to find a mate. This could mean years of no sex.

Most Christian girls I meet don't actually hold to their moral system (no offense to the females on the boards, just my honest observation). But years with nobody... that sounds depressing. However, my friends at Balor are sleeping around... when I'm really not as I used to since I'm sorta with another girl. More than me as one of my friends is more or less a Rabit while I am a Dolphin. I remember when I went all summer with no one because my fiance and I were in different towns, and that was tough enough, what with nobody to snuggle for 3 months. But Christian does not make girlfriend or more hopeless.

But heck, you don't have to want to get laid to want a girlfriend. It really isn't about the sex for most of us, I'm pretty convinced, at least it really isn't for me (although everything was about sex to Freud, eh? ).

It is possible to enjoy life without a girlfriend, you know.

And heck yes, Zoot's right here. If you're desperate, you're going to be sorry. And you really shouldn't ever need to have a girlfriend.

 

[PastorFreud]

Freud was a little over the top with the sexual fixation. I think it says more about him than his clients.

 

[Arkanin]

Freud was a little over the top with the sexual fixation. I think it says more about him than his clients.

That he was... I miss Psych. When I finish up, I think I may start as an assistant prof in the EE department while I try to get a BS in Psych.. for no reason other than the fact that it'd be interesting. Although I have to admit, I really don't want to leave college. I guess I can always teach.

 

[Micaiah]

Why do you think they call it a Bachelor's degree?

Seriously, if you are a Christian, you will (should) respect the teaching of Scripture on the sanctity of marriage, and sex within marriage.

Most Christian girls I meet don't actually hold to their moral system (no offense to the females on the boards, just my honest observation).

What a sad indictment on Christians. I can only hope it is somehow unfounded.

Keep your head down, and get your qualification before worrying too much about dating. Marriage is a privilege, but has its responsibilities. As a bloke, one responsibility will be to provide for your family. Doing the right thing now may be a sacrifice, but in the future it will make life a lot easier.

 

[Dyrwen]

Last I checked the thousands of dollars schools cost, with you having a scholarship, it becomes priority #1.

It's supposed to suck working that hard in life, but supposedly, it pays off when you're done with college. So yeah, either work hard and get an education, or drop out; find a woman, and have her leave you because you can't pay the bills. Just my thoughts on the matter.. To put a relationship over a chance at a proper education, you need better time management, caffiene pills, or a new line of work.

 

[Arkanin]

I am not going to start my BS in psychology until I've finished my Ph.D... which is about another year. School is expensive, but I'm paying for it fine. I have pretty minimal money demands on myself other than it, I tend to be a pretty frugal person.

Why do you think they call it a Bachelor's degree?

Seriously, if you are a Christian, you will (should) respect the teaching of Scripture on the sanctity of marriage, and sex within marriage.

Not me.

Don't take this the wrong way, but after meeting some people, I'm much more dependable and decent as a mate for a girl than a good percentage of the people I meet who call themselves "Christian". I've never cheated, for one. It wouldn't really be fair to associate the men who.. aren't too good to their girlfriends with Christianity, but the fact stands. I don't lie about my beliefs, but since they really only believe it because it's what they were told to believe, they don't usually tend to care. I actually used to have a strong prohibition on dating Christians. I discovered it was needless, since everybody is pretty decent about it all.

What a sad indictment on Christians. I can only hope it is somehow unfounded.

Keep your head down, and get your qualification before worrying too much about dating. Marriage is a privilege, but has its responsibilities. As a bloke, one responsibility will be to provide for your family. Doing the right thing now may be a sacrifice, but in the future it will make life a lot easier.

I have an MS in EE, so I'm fine. I was just sort of saying that I love psych... and school... and don't want to stop learning after I finish my work. I guess there's a part of me that doesn't want to stop kegging either

Though I can see the misunderstanding, what with talking about getting a second degree. I love psych; if I got a degree it'd be for the sake of learning it. As for dating, I'd better not be worrying about it. Been there, done that, didn't work for me.

I don't hold anything against Christians for it; what the Bible says or not, it's how basically everyone behaves, Islamic, Christian, New Agey, Atheist, whatever. I don't see it as a grand malediction upon Christianity as a faith or something, myself. You do have to understand that a certain ammount of people simply do not take their beliefs concerning metaphysics very seriously at all... especially when they're in their 20s. That's nothing to stab Christianity with, it just really is how most people are. There are plenty of kind, spiritual people in the world who also enjoy their bodies.

 

[ZaraDurden]

Im no master, but from my experience you got to have confidence in yourself.

A general rule that is helpful is the quantity of beer you drink has a direct relationship to your confidence level, as well as charm!

 

[AnnMercy2]

moved to friendship court

Anna
CF Admin