The Great Age Gap Question

[Blank123]

I will probably not marry anyone more than 8 years older than me. There is a man that I work with who is at least older than my father, and he flirts with me all the time. He calls me 'myname-love'.

UGGH...It is really disconcerting...I do not want to be mean...But even if I was attracted to him physically and personality wise, he is old enough to be my father...UGGHH

I can empathize. Where I used to work there was this one customer I had that liked to flirt with me and the guy has to be about 45 or something. The last time I saw him he tried asking me out to dinner. I was so in shock and disgusted at the same time I didn't even answer him, I just kinda laughed and moved the subject along very quickly

 

[AveMaria]

I've never dated a younger guy, and I probably never will, although I definately wouldn't rule a guy out due to his age. (I actually have a good reason for this. I know I do not want children, and most men my age or younger do want kids and are looking forward to starting a family.)

The man I've been dating for the past year is 12 years older than am I. There have been a few odd generation gap moments, and we had to agree to not ever say anything like, "Wow, when I got my learners permit, you were only 3 years old!"

 

[Jenster]

My only question is ... what is it with people who don't want to date at their own age level? (Not saying anyone here said that; I'm just making a comment...)

I was scanning one of the online dating Web sites, and I swear, out of 10 guys, only two were willing to date a woman their own age. Of the other guys, they were looking for someone considerably younger. There was one who was 38 and his ideal age range for a date was like 18 to 30! 18?? What gives?

For a "mature single" it's pretty depressing. Personally, I've always felt that I'd get along best with someone my age. Hm....

 

[IronWill]

Eh...personally, I don't care all that much if she's younger than me...and she can be a couple years older. How old am I right now? 24? So...between 18 and 27 I suppose is my current ideal age range.

 

[Highland Watchman]

I think it would depend on the couple. I have heard the age/2+7 formula, and it seems to be an alright rule... I haven't really dated any older women. (it seems that most women want an older guy anyway), and I don't particularly want to rob the cradle. So I don't know. I guess I'll find out eventually, when I decide to re-enter the relationships-scene.

 

[Macrina]

So if it's half the age plus seven for men -- what is it for women?

(If it was the same for women, then I could date a 22-year-old. And a man playing by the same rules could date me if he were 46. That's quite an age range!)

 

[Highland Watchman]

Good to leave the options open.

 

[revrobor]

When my wife and I started dating she was 20 and I was 37. We've now been married 36 years.

 

[AceHero]

The age gap increases with age. In high school, I think it should be no more than one or two years. In college it increases, but not much. As people get older marrying people that are considerably older or younger than them becomes increasingly acceptable. My parents are six years apart, but that would have been a lot less socially acceptable had they married when they were younger.

 

[PrincessFromOz]

When my wife and I started dating she was 20 and I was 37. We've now been married 36 years.

Wow!! Well done!

 

[PrincessFromOz]

I think it would depend on the couple. I have heard the age/2+7 formula, and it seems to be an alright rule... I haven't really dated any older women. (it seems that most women want an older guy anyway), and I don't particularly want to rob the cradle. So I don't know. I guess I'll find out eventually, when I decide to re-enter the relationships-scene.

Hmm, interesting rule! That would mean I could date men up to 30 years old. I guess it seems about right..
Although some ages would get pretty interesting results!
eg. 60 year olds with 37 year olds! 70 year olds with 42 year olds! and 100 year olds with 57 year olds!

... jeepers!

 

[JPPT1974]

Wow!! Well done!

Yeah good job my friend
God bless you!

 

[AceHero]

Hmm, interesting rule! That would mean I could date men up to 30 years old. I guess it seems about right..
Although some ages would get pretty interesting results!
eg. 60 year olds with 37 year olds! 70 year olds with 42 year olds! and 100 year olds with 57 year olds!

... jeepers!

Yeah, it seems to work better with younger people: 18/16, 19/16.5, 20/17, 21/17.5, 22/18, 23/18.5...it's not so dramatic, though age difference doesn't seem to be as important as one gets older.

 

[Irascible]

My only question is ... what is it with people who don't want to date at their own age level?

There was one who was 38 and his ideal age range for a date was like 18 to 30! 18?? What gives?

What gives is that he wants control. He's not interested in a woman to be his partner in life. He's looking for a girl to control and provide him with entertainment.

 

[~HopeFloats~]

What gives is that he wants control. He's not interested in a woman to be his partner in life. He's looking for a girl to control and provide him with entertainment.

Very True and sad

 

[PrincessFromOz]

I personally don't set strict limits for myself in terms of age... it really depends on the person I'm dealing with.

However I would not date a guy who was any more than a year younger than me I think, I guess because of submission issues. I'd always feel like I had the upper hand, or had more life experience, or whatever, which might make it hard for me to submit to him as a husband. However, I have seen people whose marriages have worked when the guy was considerably younger...

I have seen some wierd match ups in my friendship groups though... Two of my friends who are girls are dating guys 1-2 years younger than them, and one couple starting dating like a week after the other couple started, and the girls are really dominating the guys, but the guys aren't taking any sort of lead either. Puzzles me... There's also arguments between them and other friends about who hangs out with who and whether she has a boyfriend or not.. blah blah.. it's so immature

But I praise God because I'm doing ok - I haven't felt terrible about being single for a long time... just the occasional twinge of longing... I'm doing fine, praise God!

I'm just ranting now...

*hits 'submit reply'*

 

[JeremiahJ]

However I would not date a guy who was any more than a year younger than me I think, I guess because of submission issues. I'd always feel like I had the upper hand, or had more life experience, or whatever, which might make it hard for me to submit to him as a husband.

I wouldn't close off that option Spatch. While, you're probably right about most guys, surely there are some guys out there a couple years younger than you that would take the lead. Even with your advantage of having more time to obtain life experience, I would bet you could meet some guys who you thought were 24 years old that might be 2 years younger than you. You might realize that you don't have the upper hand.

 

[PrincessFromOz]

I wouldn't close off that option Spatch. While, you're probably right about most guys, surely there are some guys out there a couple years younger than you that would take the lead. Even with your advantage of having more time to obtain life experience, I would bet you could meet some guys who you thought were 24 years old that might be 2 years younger than you. You might realize that you don't have the upper hand.

You're probably right. I just haven't met any yet! But the Lord might surprise me, you never know

 

[AceHero]

I personally don't set strict limits for myself in terms of age... it really depends on the person I'm dealing with.

However I would not date a guy who was any more than a year younger than me I think, I guess because of submission issues. I'd always feel like I had the upper hand, or had more life experience, or whatever, which might make it hard for me to submit to him as a husband. However, I have seen people whose marriages have worked when the guy was considerably younger...

I have seen some wierd match ups in my friendship groups though... Two of my friends who are girls are dating guys 1-2 years younger than them, and one couple starting dating like a week after the other couple started, and the girls are really dominating the guys, but the guys aren't taking any sort of lead either. Puzzles me... There's also arguments between them and other friends about who hangs out with who and whether she has a boyfriend or not.. blah blah.. it's so immature

I'm sure a lot of guys wouldn't mind submitting to older girls...