The Gift Game

[Jenna]

I don't know about everyone else, but my husband and I have gotten into a pretty poor place. Instead of presents being from the heart, it seems to have turned into the "I can out-gift" you kind of situation. I don't like it, especially since I seem to be the one found lacking all of the time. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to take the emphasis off of price tags and back onto the things that really matter? My husband and I will be celebrating our 3rd anniversary this month, and I would really like to make this more of a positive experience.

Thank y'all.

 

[desi]

Buy him nothing. Do something you rarely do as a wife and you will outdo him.

 

[katelyn]

The book Romancing Your Husband by Debra White Smith has some good suggestions of special things you can do for your husband. (I really like this book and have been advocating it a lot lately. )

My suggestion would be to plan a really special, romantic evening for the two of you. Go somewhere that has sentimental importance to the both of you, or even just do something simple that you don't normally do. For our anniversary, I planned a night of staying in a fun downtown area where we could walk around, eat at a place we liked, and stay at a hotel. That was my gift to my husband. (It was also a "gift" in that it relieved him from having to plan something special for our anniversary - something he gets nervous about!)

Or, if planning a special evening won't work as a gift, you could get him a simple gift like massage lotion and give him "coupons" for free backrubs. Or you could modify this idea to fit whatever your husband might like as a gift/service package.

 

[Jenna]

Heeheehee..... it isn't that I don't know what *I* could do. I'm just not sure about what I could do that he would appreciate. lol Guys can be so......erm..... guy-like! *laughs*

 

[scaddigs]

Hi Jenna,
You could make coupons specifically catering to his likes.

 

[Iddie4him]

I have found that in the 11 months I've been on disability, just by cleaning the house, doing dishes, doing laundry, etc. can be just the thing to bring a smile to her face. Also it tells her that you are thoughtful enough to help out around the house, it also shows you love her. At least those are my feelings.

 

[chriso]

Surprise him with little gifts that you put a lot of thought into. Write him a beautiful letter and give it to him with the gift. Maybe this will spark some more romance in him.

 

[::.Emerald.::]

When my husband and I had been married for I think 4 years- I had run out of tools to buy him..lol so I needed to come up with something else. I made arrangements to go to Dallas (we lived in san antonio at the time) and I booked us a very nice hotel and also got tickets to a pro baseball game. I knew the things he enjoyed for the most part, and just tried to make the weekend all about him.. the fact that he really enjoyed himself made it worth while to me. (BTW, I had to save up for 6 months to pull this off without him knowing I was stashin the cash)

 

[Peter]

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to take the emphasis off of price tags and back onto the things that really matter?

TALK TO HIM!!! Sorry, didn't meant to scream. No, wait, yes I did!
You can't just stop from your side without letting him know what's going on. Men are like little children. We get confused very easily.
Men are used to playing the "one-better" game. We think this is how you are supposed to act. (It's not, BTW)

The "one-better" game produces some very un-healthy thinking. It plants the seeds of expecting to receive. When one gives so they can receive, they are missing the boat. We are told in scripture to give without any thought of receiving.

My wife and I went through this. This is what we did. Chose one mutual holiday, Valentine's Day maybe, and agree NOT to give each other anything. Go out to dinner, dutch treat. Go to a movie, dutch treat. If you must buy something, set a price limit.

Gifts should be given to make the other person feel good, not make the giver feel good.

I hope some of this makes sense. It probably doesn't 'cause I'm a man.

Peace.

Peter

 

[Vance]

A few years ago, my wife and I made an agreement never to *buy* each other another present. We have plenty and do not need "things", so we decided that it would be more fun (and challenging!) to give each other gifts which do not cost any money. Our only exception to this rule is that spending money on "materials" is allowed. Usually, no materials are needed.