The Existence of Chuck Norris

[BillH]

http://tuquoque.blogspot.com/2006/02/existence-of-chuck-norris.html

Objection 1. It seems that Chuck Norris does not exist; because if one of two contraries be infinite, the other would be altogether destroyed. But the word "Chuck Norris roundhouse kick" means that it is infinite painfulness. If, therefore, Chuck Norris existed, there would be no evil discoverable; but there is evil in the world. Therefore Chuck Norris does not exist.

On the contrary, It is said of Chuck Norris: "He hath counted to infinity - twice." (www.chucknorrisfacts.com)




And it kind of takes off from there....

 

[Miss Shelby]

I have a funny story about Chuck Norris. But it wouldn't be funny if I tried to explain it. And I would be running of on a tangent. This thread title reminded me of the incident though, and made me belly laugh.

 

[holyorders]

"I really do exist"





"Welcome to your Nightmare!"

 

[ps139]

I have a funny story about Chuck Norris. But it wouldn't be funny if I tried to explain it. And I would be running of on a tangent. This thread title reminded me of the incident though, and made me belly laugh.

Oh come on Michelle you can't leave us hanging like that!!!!

 

[RequiemForADisplacedLife]

Am I the only one who is massively confused? I mean, as if Chuck Norris really exists. C'mon. Pfffft.

 

[Gwendolyn]

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer.





Too bad he's never cried.

 

[HappyMomof4]

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer.





Too bad he's never cried.

LOL!

 

[holyorders]

Chuck Norris has the bones of Babe the Blue Ox in his refridgerator.

 

[Miss Shelby]

Oh come on Michelle you can't leave us hanging like that!!!!

It really really will not come off as funny to others as it is to me. And Chuck Norris himself personally isn't involved.

My family was playing trivial pursuit pop culture at thanksgiving. When we play we play in teams and we usually discuss forever the answer and then the opposing team always asks 'is that your final answer'--before the guess is made.

well there was a question that was something like 'Which popular game show tv host wrote the theme music for the tv game show Jeopardy?'

And I jokingly yelled out Chuck Barris. Who was the dork host on the Gong Show years ago. (the gong show has been successfully reincarnated in this decade however, it's called American Idol--just as a small aside)--Anyhoo I was kidding. Because I had no idea of the real answer.

My sister and her team after mulling it over decided to go with my answer however and said --- as their final answer--Chuck Norris. And everyone knew she had the name wrong, but let her go on and even asked.. Is that REALLY your final answer? and she said yes... and of course --She was wrong. Chuck Norris didn't write theme music for television game shows.

Incidentally, it wasn't Chuck Barris either. I can't remember who it was.

You totally had to be there I know, and you have to know me and my family but I was laughing so hard I had tears rolling down my face.

 

[drpepper101]

Walker, Texas Ranger was the worst show in the history of TV that was picked up for more than two seasons.

 

[Brownsy]

Walker, Texas Ranger was the worst show in the history of TV that was picked up for more than two seasons.

I do believe Nightrider with David Hasselhoff would have to come very close to taking that honour

 

[twosid]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gi2CfuqcUGE

 

[NewMan99]

The Answer: This TV talkshow host wrote the theme music for the TV gameshow "Jeopardy!"

The Question: Who is Merv Griffin?

 

[nyj]

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer.





Too bad he's never cried.

Though he's bored the rest of us to tears via his Walker, Texas Ranger show.

 

[racer]

Well, regarding the existance or non-existance of Chuch Norris, let me just say this: Some of you know that I'm from Oklahoma--so is Chuch Norris (for those of us who believe he exists). Anyhow, some of you know I work in a prison. Well, until about four to five years ago we had an inmate named Ronnie Norris. Not only was he Chuck's cousin, he was also his stunt double in many of the Walker shows and movies. I know this because the guy had two huge photo albums with pictures from different TV/movie sets. He, Ronnie, was in the pictures with all of Chuck's co-stars. He also had pictures of himself and Chuck. He could easily have been Chuck's twin, only he was a little smaller.

Before this inmate transferred to the prison I work in, Chuck visited him at another prison. So, I didn't actually get to meet him.

 

[nyj]

Before this inmate transferred to the prison I work in, Chuck visited him at another prison. So, I didn't actually get to meet him.

Interesting. So what you're saying is ... you have faith in Chuck's existence.

 

[racer]

Interesting. So what you're saying is ... you have faith in Chuck's existence.

Well . . . let's see . . . I saw pictures that appear to be of the same man that I've watched on television in Walker and other various movies . . . So, based upon that and the statements made to me by Ronnie Norris talking about Chuck, I believe he exists somewhere . . . .

 

[BillH]

Interesting. So what you're saying is ... you have faith in Chuck's existence.

Chuck Norris's existence may be taken as an article of faith, but it is demonstrable from reason that he must exist as well.

 

[drpepper101]

I do believe Nightrider with David Hasselhoff would have to come very close to taking that honour

But Knightrider has a talking car, people just don't see the genuis in that.