The engagement Ring

[Uphill Battle]

Ok, ladies, and guys, tell me.. should I buy the ring, suprise her, pray that she likes it? or forgo the suprise, take her to get the one she would like.

any thoughts?

 

[Oblivious]

It depends on how picky she is! j/k

We picked out the ring together. Not because I'm picky (I would have honestly loved anything he picked out for me, being the ring's meaning ) but he figured if he's going to shell out the $$$ for it, he wanted to get me something I really loved, being as I would be wearing it for a long, long time. Anyway, we really had a fun time ring shopping together. The only downside is it wasn't a surprise when he proposed to me with it a week later (obviously!).

So...I guess it really depends on how much you want to surprise her.

 

[JesusWasn'tWhite]

I've heard of people being able to buy a ring, as like a place holder, and then after the initial surprise, being able to go buy the ring she actually wants.
I'm not sure what I'd want.. as far as a ring goes, I think I know. But I'm not sure if I want my future husband to just buy the real one and make it a big surprise or let me pick. I'm kind of picky, more like particular, but I'd rather have a ring that I really like than one that I just kinda like.

 

[AngylBelle]

Before we got engaged, we both knew that marriage was where we were headed, so we went to look at rings together. We talked with jewelers, got sized, and most importantly he got an idea of what I liked: cut, color, setting, etc. Soooo, I didn't pick my particular ring out per se, however, he took a little bit of everything I liked and custom made my ring . Had it been in the showroom, this is the one I would have picked.

He didn't propose until about two months later though. It was great because by looking at rings together, I knew he was serious about marriage, but at the same time, I had NO clue how soon the engagement would happen.

Now I was excited about the prospect of getting engaged, yet I didn't tear myself apart like some girls do waiting for the question to be popped. I knew it would happen eventually, so I didn't stress over it after looking at rings. I would suggest you do the same with her, UNLESS she is the type that is going to drive herself nuts waiting for you to ask her. Girls like to look at jewelry, and at the same time, like that you care about her interests. It also depends on how well you know her. If you know her tastes really well, I am sure you'll do a fine job of picking one out yourself. My beau and I looked together because I like less traditional things and he is more classic; plus we wanted eachother to like the rings too...a happy medium if you will...I would have hated for him to buy me something he couldn't stand! There is nothing wrong with a surprise engagement ring either, I don't think any girl would complain about the ring she is offered! There are some "shallow" girls that are soooooooo concerned over "how big my diamond/gem is!" but most girls could care less. To be honest, girls just want to get "engaged" and really aren't picky about the ring!

I wouldn't stress over this...You know her best and whatever you decide, she'll say yes!

 

[JesusWasn'tWhite]

It also depends on how well you know her. If you know her tastes really well, I am sure you'll do a fine job of picking one out yourself.

If you don't know her tastes very well, you shouldn't be getting engaged to be married!

 

[Miss_Music]

i've always held the ideal that, if he knows me well enough to know that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, then he should at least know me well enough to know (or have some sort of idea about) what sort of engagement ring i would like!

i want to be surprised. i think there is something special about being presented with a ring that he has picked out himself. just make sure that you definately know if she preffers yellow gold or white gold

but, like Angylbelle said, the ring really isn't that important. i'm sure that she will be so excited about spending the rest of her life with you that she probably won't even take too much notice of the ring (at first anyway ).

 

[AngylBelle]

If you don't know her tastes very well, you shouldn't be getting engaged to be married!

That is not necessarily true. My and my beau have been together 2 1/2 years and we are still learning new things about each other every day. And when it comes to engagement ring likes and dislikes, with all the possibilities out there nowadays a girl who is traditional down to the tee, may opt out of the diamond solitare and prefer a sapphire! That's why it is a good idea to discuss this topic at some point...even if it is just flipping through some random magazine so she won't notice what your true motives are (I can be unbelievably dense, so hey, it could work on other girls too!).

 

[Maeyken]

If you *are* going to surprise her, take a look at what other sorts of jewellry she wears- particularly the colour. Some people look better with gold, others look better with white gold. Also, look at other sorts of jewellry she wears- what shapes of stones? what colours? Does she particularly like sparkly, shiny things? Or does she like plainer, less flashy stuff? Also, when going to get a ring, know your 4C's of diamonds.

Bottom line: if you're surprising her, do a good job of it!

 

[Uphill Battle]

That is not necessarily true. My and my beau have been together 2 1/2 years and we are still learning new things about each other every day. And when it comes to engagement ring likes and dislikes, with all the possibilities out there nowadays a girl who is traditional down to the tee, may opt out of the diamond solitare and prefer a sapphire! That's why it is a good idea to discuss this topic at some point...even if it is just flipping through some random magazine so she won't notice what your true motives are (I can be unbelievably dense, so hey, it could work on other girls too!).

Funny you should say that. I was talking with here on the phone just a short while ago. (she's in Costa Rica right now.) Anyways, I asked what I thought was a very innocent question about gold preferences, and she figured out immediately that I was talking about engagement rings. Guess I don't have to worry about suprising her quite as much anymore.

 

[ChildOfGod20]

i agree w/ blue impulse that i would much rather be surprised w/ a ring i don't like than pick it out myself. i'm sure she'll be so happy that she'll love any ring you get her

 

[Oblivious]

If you don't know her tastes very well, you shouldn't be getting engaged to be married!

Wow - I guess me and my husband of 5 years should have never gotten married...

Anyway, there's so many ring choices out there, it's impossible to be 100% sure of what exactly she'll like.

 

[AngylBelle]

Funny you should say that. I was talking with here on the phone just a short while ago. (she's in Costa Rica right now.) Anyways, I asked what I thought was a very innocent question about gold preferences, and she figured out immediately that I was talking about engagement rings. Guess I don't have to worry about suprising her quite as much anymore.

Awww, I'm sorry, but that really is too adorable. Like I said before, if she isn't the type of girl that is going to drive herself crazy waiting for a proposel, take her out to look at some rings. You both are obviously on the "marriage playing field." And you can do like my beau did and not let her know which ring you are getting...just feel her out for what she likes and surprise her with it sometime later. Also...I am sure, if she doesn't already know, she'd like to know your ring size too.

 

[Hediru]

I don't think any girl would complain about the ring she is offered! There are some "shallow" girls that are soooooooo concerned over "how big my diamond/gem is!" but most girls could care less. To be honest, girls just want to get "engaged" and really aren't picky about the ring!

This is so true! Most girls that I know just want a little something on her left hand to show off to people. lol (Seriously, if one more of my friends shows me her left hand and says, "Lookie! I'm getting married!" I just might barf.) If she really loves you, she will love whatever ring you choose to get her, because it is from you, the man who loves her enough to want to spend the rest of his life by her side. Just one suggestion, though, do not get her a ring made out of platinum. I've heard stories about women wearing platinum rings were in car accidents or something, and lost their fingers because they swelled and the rings couldn't be cut off! Gold is much prettier anyway, of course that is just my opinion. Good luck!

 

[AveMaria]

I guess I'm the only one who would prefer to not be surprised and would rather pick out my own ring.

 

[Ceris]

(Seriously, if one more of my friends shows me her left hand and says, "Lookie! I'm getting married!" I just might barf.)

LOL! Absolutely hilarious.

Thank you, as that line just made my night.

 

[livingondreams]

My fiance was a smart cookie and realized that I wear more white gold than yellow gold, so he picked out a white gold engagement ring for me. I absolutely LOVE my ring, and to be quite honest, I'd probably love it even if it were the most hideous ring in the world, because of the thought behind it and who it came from. It is so special to me.

 

[AveMaria]

LOL! Absolutely hilarious.

Thank you, as that line just made my night.

Mine too!

 

[AngylBelle]

Just one suggestion, though, do not get her a ring made out of platinum. I've heard stories about women wearing platinum rings were in car accidents or something, and lost their fingers because they swelled and the rings couldn't be cut off! Gold is much prettier anyway, of course that is just my opinion. Good luck!

I TOTALLY disagree!!! But that is just me...
Platinum is stronger and lasts longer in the long run. I am not a fan of yellow gold at all....nothing I own is yellow gold just because I feel it is tacky...at least on me it looks cheap (could be my skin tone). And white gold tarnishes too easily, not to mention it chips because its plated with rhodium. Platinum is a little more pricey, but it is worth it because you do not have to take care of it as much. If your girl likes sterling, I would go with this over white gold...but if she likes yellow gold, you know what to get! (Also, I have seen some really pretty rings in rose gold...it doesn't go with much, but it is nice to look at!)

 

[JesusWasn'tWhite]

I know my ring will be platinum.
My boyfriend knows my ring needs to be platinum, if we ever get to a marriage point.
We haven't talked any more about rings other than we both want our rings to be platinum.

 

[Leanna]

I think you should ask her if she is the surprise type or the pick-it-out type. You could ask her to marry you without having the ring, but it is more fun to have the ring. My husband just went out a bought a ring and asked me with it... total surprise. Lucky for him it was GORGEOUS. Its an oval diamond with a gold band. I don't know if I would have said "surprise me" or if I would have wanted to pick it out... but if he would have returned with an ugly ring I suppose I would feel differently.

I think most jewelry stores have a 90 day return policy in case she really doesn't like it... ?