My last post here forever. I won't make any replies. I've found that my depths are limitless and that happiness and humanity cannot accompany me in my decend in the bottomless pit. Call it a chemical imbalance, an act of God, whatever you so desire. Whatever or whomever it is from I thank. I have finally found my way to differ from society and to rest my soul: a garden of tranquility and sadness.
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The End
- Thread starter broken mach1ne
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KeepTheFaith15
Thats Me whats can i say?
NO dont please dont......i beg you please dont....do anything to harm yourself....please.
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Auntie
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- Apr 16, 2002
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Today is your birthday, broken mach1ne! Wow, 17, I only wish I could be 17 again. Oh yeah, for sure, I had a lot of depression and sadness then. But I decided to enjoy my life anyway! And I did! Not that I didn't do dumb stuff, yes, I did things that weren't too bright. But looking back now, I enjoyed those years because I chose to enjoy those years.
I remember a good friend of mine, April. She was my brother's girlfriend. A beautiful girl, an intelligent girl, and a very popular girl. She had some problems with her parents, mostly they were too strict with her, but they loved her very much. April was a model. She had long, straight, blonde hair and big beautiful blue eyes. And a big smile. Everyone loved April. Her modeling was limited to local work, but she had great potential to become national. But, she gave up on life. She allowed her problems to get the best of her. She turned to drugs. April took the wrong road, April opened the wrong door and made the terrible decision to go to a place that swallowed her up. Yes---she killed herself. That was 33 years ago. April's mistake was to apply a permanent solution to a temporary problem. And to this day, her decision is still permanent---33 years later. For a 17 year old, 33 years is almost 2 life times. She gave up on her life, before she even got started. When I think of April now, I think about all that she missed in life. I think about all the joys that she robbed herself of. Life is our most precious possession. What a waste, that she robbed her own self of her own life.
About a year later, I was in up-state NY in a small town. I walked by a gift shop and stopped to look at a large Hallmark poster in the window. My heart sank. The poster was a photo of a beautiful young girl, walking thru a meadow of yellow flowers. The girl in the photo was my friend April. Her parents submitted some pictures of April to Hallmark, and Hallmark used April's pictures on a line of their products. I stood there and cried, as I realized that April would never know how far she could have gone in life. April missed out on the best part of her life. She chose a permanent solution to a temporary problem, and lost everything. What a waste.
Happy birthday, broken mach1ne. I hope you will choose to let this day be the beginning of your life. I hope you will see that you have just begun to live. I hope that you will look forward to your future, with amazement at all the wonderful possibilities that await you.
I remember a good friend of mine, April. She was my brother's girlfriend. A beautiful girl, an intelligent girl, and a very popular girl. She had some problems with her parents, mostly they were too strict with her, but they loved her very much. April was a model. She had long, straight, blonde hair and big beautiful blue eyes. And a big smile. Everyone loved April. Her modeling was limited to local work, but she had great potential to become national. But, she gave up on life. She allowed her problems to get the best of her. She turned to drugs. April took the wrong road, April opened the wrong door and made the terrible decision to go to a place that swallowed her up. Yes---she killed herself. That was 33 years ago. April's mistake was to apply a permanent solution to a temporary problem. And to this day, her decision is still permanent---33 years later. For a 17 year old, 33 years is almost 2 life times. She gave up on her life, before she even got started. When I think of April now, I think about all that she missed in life. I think about all the joys that she robbed herself of. Life is our most precious possession. What a waste, that she robbed her own self of her own life.
About a year later, I was in up-state NY in a small town. I walked by a gift shop and stopped to look at a large Hallmark poster in the window. My heart sank. The poster was a photo of a beautiful young girl, walking thru a meadow of yellow flowers. The girl in the photo was my friend April. Her parents submitted some pictures of April to Hallmark, and Hallmark used April's pictures on a line of their products. I stood there and cried, as I realized that April would never know how far she could have gone in life. April missed out on the best part of her life. She chose a permanent solution to a temporary problem, and lost everything. What a waste.
Happy birthday, broken mach1ne. I hope you will choose to let this day be the beginning of your life. I hope you will see that you have just begun to live. I hope that you will look forward to your future, with amazement at all the wonderful possibilities that await you.
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KeepTheFaith15
Thats Me whats can i say?
i cant even say anything im at a loss for words, what do you say to people who feel this way..my heart is breaking for a man i do not know, ive cryed and prayed that he wont do anythingm i pray that he see thats people care even in my prayer i had no clue what to say.
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Auntie
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KTF, I love you sweety. 
Please don't let this upset you, coz then I'll be worried about ya.
Do something to cheer yourself up, please don't let this get you down. We must give broken mach1ne to God. We must trust in God, that he will heal broken mach1ne's spirit. All we can do is pray, and then put it in God's hands.
Please don't let this upset you, coz then I'll be worried about ya. Do something to cheer yourself up, please don't let this get you down. We must give broken mach1ne to God. We must trust in God, that he will heal broken mach1ne's spirit. All we can do is pray, and then put it in God's hands.
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KeepTheFaith15
Thats Me whats can i say?
thanks. i'll be fine but im getting all this [wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth] thrown at me, one friend died one tried to committ suicide then a fellow christian brother may have commited suicide, but i still have hope im not losing sight of god this time. i love you too!
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paulewog
Father of Insanity; Child of Music.
- Mar 23, 2002
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Don't do anything rash... really. Life isn't worth throwing away... it's worth much more than that.
I *know* for a fact that people love all of us.... God is one, if no one else!
I *know* for a fact that people love all of us.... God is one, if no one else!
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wow........*hugs* please don't give up you know its not true...
there is no too deep whatever you feel like.
I love you and most importantly God does.
I kinda know this up and down and at the lowest points it seems
like you're going mad and can never get out.
But you can. I could. God can.
Theres a purpose for your life...theres a reason why Christians still live
on this earth..theres a plan for your life
there was someone giving all he had just to give you life.
he even loves the sad people
Please stay in pray...I'm praying for you and there are many other people
who did.
Keep up hope and if you like stay in touch we'd love to hear from you.
*big hugs*
God Bless YOU
there is no too deep whatever you feel like.
I love you and most importantly God does.
I kinda know this up and down and at the lowest points it seems
like you're going mad and can never get out.
But you can. I could. God can.
Theres a purpose for your life...theres a reason why Christians still live
on this earth..theres a plan for your life
there was someone giving all he had just to give you life.
he even loves the sad people
Please stay in pray...I'm praying for you and there are many other people
who did.
Keep up hope and if you like stay in touch we'd love to hear from you.
*big hugs*
God Bless YOU
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please don't leave us we will miss you. don't do any thing u will regret killing your self won't help any thing. i know how you feel, i aren't just saying that i do. hang in there bro don't give up.
cling to God he can put you thru with his help you can do any thing.
he loves you so so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so so much.
i will pray
don't do any thing u will regret killing your self won't help any thing. i know how you feel, i aren't just saying that i do. hang in there bro don't give up.cling to God he can put you thru with his help you can do any thing.
he loves you so so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so soso so so so much.
i will pray
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just reading your words made me cry please please i am begging you, DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP DON"T GIVE UP oh did i tell you never give up on your self.
praying
praying
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oh no he's gone. I feel terrible for not picking this up earlier.
Broken Machine, if you are reading this, come back for a moment. I'll talk to you. 1 on 1, full on with no debates. Give it a chance. You might not get a quick solution but you will definetely get a solution. You've got nothing to lose and i've got nothing to gain. Just pm me and i'll chat out with you.
Broken Machine, if you are reading this, come back for a moment. I'll talk to you. 1 on 1, full on with no debates. Give it a chance. You might not get a quick solution but you will definetely get a solution. You've got nothing to lose and i've got nothing to gain. Just pm me and i'll chat out with you.
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Broken:
It sounds like your posts are a cry for help, or a cry for attention. Probably both. I will pray for you to get either, but be wary of the second. True sympathy from others comes at a great cost: the loss of something that requires that sympathy in the first place. I know, I learned this the hard way.
[praying for you]
It sounds like your posts are a cry for help, or a cry for attention. Probably both. I will pray for you to get either, but be wary of the second. True sympathy from others comes at a great cost: the loss of something that requires that sympathy in the first place. I know, I learned this the hard way.
[praying for you]
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wblastyn
Jedi Master
- Jun 5, 2002
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BrokenMachine, you do really sound clinically depressed, I feel just like you most of the time and I know it's because I'm ill. I call it a chemical imbalance because that it has been scientifically proven to be, otherwise anti-depressants would not work, God does not make you feel sad or hopeless, the chemicals in your brain do.
I'm telling you this, not to debate or whatever, but to help you realise that there is hope, and that all this sadness/hopelessness/lethargy, etc is a result of a sickness, not anything you have done or because there is a real reason for you to feel this way. It's not worth giving in to. I know exactly how you feel, and my faith in God is what keeps me alive most of the time. There is hope in God, He will never let anything happen to you that you cannot handle. God loves you and you have family and friends, here and at home, who love you too, please don't do anything to harm yourself.
Please read that website I posted on the other thread, it will help you understand what is going on better.
Also read this, especially the part about what depression is NOT (ie, caused by demons, lack of faith, blah blah). Depression is a medical problem, not something you have brought on yourself.
http://www.gospelcom.net/cdp/
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