The end times, when time colapses

[Maxster211]

Father time will wake
Doom will come
The sky will fall
Nothing will work
History will be forgotten
Trees and mountains will burn
Nations will be conquered
The Empire of Man will colaspse
The Heavens will send their wrath on the Earth
The world will be engulfed in fire and water
Hades will be brought up apon the world
And the sky will open up
And the angels will flow down
And the demons of Hades will rise
All Christiandom will fight for their beliefs and their existance
And almost everything we love and cherish will be lost
In the war that is to come
For this is what is to happen
And we must stand strong
As we know what is to come
When time colapses

((I don't mean to sound all doom and gloom, but hay, its going to happen, though not literally as I said it))

 

[Barrenlimb]

I was thinking doom and gloom as I finished reading. From a writing standpoint, you may want to hint at more and let the readers mind fill in the cracks. You want to create writing that activates the readers mind to begin to imagine, think, and picture. Otherwise, you are writing a synopsis on what you believe will happen in the end.

Many people have very different beliefs than the one illustrated in your poetry ( I am one of them) and so to reach a more broad spectrum of readers, if you hint at enough, but not "preach" to them, than they will be able to fill in the cracks. Some readers would read the first three lines and say, I don't believe that and click away or stop reading. You're goal is to hook them in and let the rest of the poem tell the story.

*Sorry, I know you didn't ask for any advise and so dispose of it if you would like.

 

[Maxster211]

No thats fine. I like critical advise. Its what keeps me going.

 

[Maxster211]

Ow, and by the way, I was being metiphorical.