So after a while everything went black and I floated up above my body. I saw the medical team trying to restart my heart. Then I went up thru some clouds and it was bright but I could still see. A lady approached me and called me by name. It was a ancestor I had never met but they knew me. She told me where I was and to not be afraid. Then I saw a super bright light and a throne and a being of light sitting on it. There was the power of the galaxies emanating from him. I approached and he said welcome my son, do not be afraid. You are in the middle of 2 realms and you will choose whether to stay here in peace or return to earth and finish a mission.
I had heard of this realm before so I wasn't surprised. And I had no discomfort. He said I could ask him questions and I was glad for that. I said I thought I had a mission like everybody else but still didn't know what it was other than a general effort to be decent and not hold any ill will toward anyone. But I wasn't sure about that. I said to the being, you have seen obviously what an absurdly difficult time I have had for over 50 years, never having any joy whatsoever, never being included in any of the milestone joy filled things that are normal and keep a soul going despite the slings and arrows of dog minded humanity.I spent decades in total thinking of suicide but always scared of what horror might await people who check out early. The accounts of hell are vile and horrifying. They seem to be real to some extent.
I stumble through almost every day trying to not sink into a sewer of hatred and mega despair at not ever having the good things others have. I consider it a major victory that I never *%!%. I always thought it would be some great credit to avoid violence for a whole lifetime.Good Karma.So I said too the being "you must be kidding or something like that". you think anyone who lived like me would want to go back even if their mission wasn't complete? If you want people like us to finish our mission then surely you would make sure there was a minimum amount of inspiring joy and good times to keep our engines running...but people like us have none of those things. Why would we even consider going back???
I had heard of this realm before so I wasn't surprised. And I had no discomfort. He said I could ask him questions and I was glad for that. I said I thought I had a mission like everybody else but still didn't know what it was other than a general effort to be decent and not hold any ill will toward anyone. But I wasn't sure about that. I said to the being, you have seen obviously what an absurdly difficult time I have had for over 50 years, never having any joy whatsoever, never being included in any of the milestone joy filled things that are normal and keep a soul going despite the slings and arrows of dog minded humanity.I spent decades in total thinking of suicide but always scared of what horror might await people who check out early. The accounts of hell are vile and horrifying. They seem to be real to some extent.
I stumble through almost every day trying to not sink into a sewer of hatred and mega despair at not ever having the good things others have. I consider it a major victory that I never *%!%. I always thought it would be some great credit to avoid violence for a whole lifetime.Good Karma.So I said too the being "you must be kidding or something like that". you think anyone who lived like me would want to go back even if their mission wasn't complete? If you want people like us to finish our mission then surely you would make sure there was a minimum amount of inspiring joy and good times to keep our engines running...but people like us have none of those things. Why would we even consider going back???
