The difference between women and men.

[Marilyn C]

 

[Larniavc]

Can you give me a summary? I don’t have access to the internet at the moment and can’t view it.

 

[PloverWing]

My summary of the speaker is: Men's brains are like a bunch of separate boxes, with each topic or area of life is in its own separate box, and nothing touches anything else. Women's brains are like a big ball of wire, with everything connected to everything else.

I'd prefer a non-gendered version of it -- some people's minds are more like separate boxes, and other people's minds are more like an interconnected ball of wire -- but he's doing a comedy bit, not a sociological analysis, and his audience seems to be enjoying it.

 

[Paidiske]

Pseudoscientific waffle, would be my less charitable summary. It might be presented in a comic way, but this guy sells his work as a marriage expert and pastor, so it's a bit of a worry that he puts it out there as credible content in "fun" packaging.

 

[PloverWing]

Ooh, thanks for that. I had no idea he led genuine marriage seminars. (I have now googled him.) I thought he was just a stand-up comic.

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

Coming to the thread late, sorry, but I once heard a pastor say it like this. He wasn’t trying to be funny, he definitely wasn’t being mean, but yes, honestly, he was overgeneralizing.

He said a man’s thinking works in a logical, itemized list.

Item 1
Item 2
Item 3

Etc.

A woman takes an idea, and she tosses it out here. (Points a random direction.) Then she tosses another idea out here. (Different direction.) Repeat several times, varying directions each time.

And then slowly, methodically, she starts connecting all of the ideas together.

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

PS. I just had a flash of insight. My husband has said that he thinks in images rather than in words. Sometimes he even struggles to translate those images into words when he speaks them. I have always, always, always thought in words. Complete paragraphs, actually, even when I was a small child. My thought process is an endless running commentary.

And I never considered, until just now, how this may contribute to our recurring communication issues.

Also, I think I just demonstrated what my pastor was saying about women’s thinking.

 

[footballfanatic]

Men and women are certainly different and we do each other a disservice when we say otherwise. We have different strengths and different places in the world. God made us that way and that is clear as day by even a casual observer.

It seemed like as we reached our late 20s, traditional or classical gender roles seemed to develop more so than they had to that point. I started taking over the finances and being looked to to make decisions for the entire house. She had always kept the house well but stepped that up as far as a nuturer and it made sense since I was the one earning the money.

It has actually been very helpful and contributing a large amount to us getting along since we both weren't responsible for "everything." With clearly defined roles, I don't have to worry about those on her plate and she doesn't have to worry about the things I take care of.

I take my responsibility as protector and provider very seriously and she is naturally submissive. It seemed to have become that way just because it made more since in life and I think it makes her feel loved and cherished when things are referred to as me buying something for her or paying for a vacation. The traiditonal dynamic works. When it's 2 a.m. and there's a noise in the house, it's my duty to go check it out. That's my role as husband and I embrace that. Her role is a nuturer and so she is responsible for meals and keeping the home. I'm glad we have this dynamic since it's a peaceful and loving relationship with it.

 

[PloverWing]

Men and women are certainly different and we do each other a disservice when we say otherwise. We have different strengths and different places in the world.

With clearly defined roles, I don't have to worry about those on her plate and she doesn't have to worry about the things I take care of.

I'm glad that the traditional gender roles work for you and your wife. I can see how having clearly defined household duties -- he does A, B, C, and she does D, E, F -- could make a household run smoothly. The amendment I would suggest is to set up the division of labor to fit the skills of the two individual spouses, rather than the traditional skills of a man-in-general and a woman-in-general. If he's better at cooking and she's better at bookkeeping, then maybe he cooks and she pays bills, even though that's not the traditional assignment of duties.

 

[Paidiske]

I have to agree with PloverWing. People are different, and not everyone fits neatly into stereotypes about men and women.

In our household, traditional gender roles don't suit either of us; I'm the breadwinner, he works part time and handles school, our daughter's therapies, and more of the domestic and life admin stuff. Big decisions are shared. I agree that it helps that I don't feel I have to handle everything, but the bits I handle suit my strengths and gifts, and the same is true for him.

And don't get me started on being "submissive"! Definitely feels more like a threat than being cherished. The "traditional" dynamic doesn't work for every couple.