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The Difference Between Courting and Dating
- Thread starter eyeliv4God
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peanutbutter12
Senior Veteran
We have a bazillion threads on this topic already. This is where the search button comes in handy.
CJ
CJ
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bumblebee62331
Well-Known Member
lol ^^ agreed.
Courting is more 'serious' than dating - ie, the relationship is sometimes longer and more serious, more like 'courting to be engaged/married' rather than just 'dating'.
Courting is more 'serious' than dating - ie, the relationship is sometimes longer and more serious, more like 'courting to be engaged/married' rather than just 'dating'.
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~Beauty_from_Pain~
By His grace, For His glory
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Yeah, I've seen several topics like this...but never even read up much on it...seems like courting means that you plan for sure on marrying the person, and dating is just "we'll see" lol...I don't know either
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- Sep 12, 2004
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Bah... I did a search, but alas, my results weren't what I was looking for! Can someone help me out? Thanks a mil!!!
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J
JVD
Guest
Yes, courting is getting to know someone to see if they are marriage material.
The reason that you court is for the purpose of eventual marriage. When you begin courting you do not really know if the person is marriage material but you are trying to determine the answer to that.
Marriage is always the eventual goal but the courting relationship is more serious.
Before anyone even begins to court, they should know what they want in a partner. Certain characteristics should have already been decided. Then if the partner does not meet those the relationship either does not start, or ends when it is discovered that those qualities are not there.
Here are some possible things to consider:
Is this person of the same faith?
Does he have a loving relationship with his/her parents/family?
Has this person already been married?
Does this person already have children?
Is this person a giver...or a taker?
Does anger come easily?
Are this person's parents divorced?
There are many, many things that you could list. Then make some of them hard and fast rules that you will not break. For example, you might want to say you would never want to be married to someone who is easily angered...then why would you continue a relationship with them?
In my opinion, courtship is the only responsible relationship before marriage.
The reason that you court is for the purpose of eventual marriage. When you begin courting you do not really know if the person is marriage material but you are trying to determine the answer to that.
Marriage is always the eventual goal but the courting relationship is more serious.
Before anyone even begins to court, they should know what they want in a partner. Certain characteristics should have already been decided. Then if the partner does not meet those the relationship either does not start, or ends when it is discovered that those qualities are not there.
Here are some possible things to consider:
Is this person of the same faith?
Does he have a loving relationship with his/her parents/family?
Has this person already been married?
Does this person already have children?
Is this person a giver...or a taker?
Does anger come easily?
Are this person's parents divorced?
There are many, many things that you could list. Then make some of them hard and fast rules that you will not break. For example, you might want to say you would never want to be married to someone who is easily angered...then why would you continue a relationship with them?
In my opinion, courtship is the only responsible relationship before marriage.
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Carri20
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Hey now, there's nothing wrong with having another dating vs. courting discussion.
To me, dating is more for fun and courting is more for a purpose. When I think of dating I think...shallow, selfish, temporary, no-strings-attached thrill-seeking. When I think of courting I picture two people who are seriously considering each other as a lifetime partner and friend and who already care enough about one another not to muck it up by, say, seeing other people at the same time.
To me, dating is more for fun and courting is more for a purpose. When I think of dating I think...shallow, selfish, temporary, no-strings-attached thrill-seeking. When I think of courting I picture two people who are seriously considering each other as a lifetime partner and friend and who already care enough about one another not to muck it up by, say, seeing other people at the same time.
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alwayz_remember_Calvery
Active Member
Personally, i find courting to be a more "Godly" form of dating, or at least to seem that way. For example, my sister is "courting" a guy; and i'm "dating" one, does that mean that i won't end up marrying my bf? No.
People say courting is more about finding the person you're going to marry, it's "dating" with the intention of marrying.
To me, it's a "Some say tomato some say tomatoe" type deal. They're two different words that mean the same thing. I know most people on here will disagree with me on this, but it isn't the title you give your relationship, it's how you act in it.
If my sister and I act the same way in our relationships, who's right? Which on is dating and which one is courting? What if someone is "courting" a person, yet they're having premarital sex? Does that mean courting is bad?
It's a term that can mean whatever you want it to mean and anyone who tells you anything else is crazy.
We've become way to caught up in the words that we use instead of the meaning and actions behind them.
People say courting is more about finding the person you're going to marry, it's "dating" with the intention of marrying.
To me, it's a "Some say tomato some say tomatoe" type deal. They're two different words that mean the same thing. I know most people on here will disagree with me on this, but it isn't the title you give your relationship, it's how you act in it.
If my sister and I act the same way in our relationships, who's right? Which on is dating and which one is courting? What if someone is "courting" a person, yet they're having premarital sex? Does that mean courting is bad?
It's a term that can mean whatever you want it to mean and anyone who tells you anything else is crazy.
We've become way to caught up in the words that we use instead of the meaning and actions behind them.
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J
JVD
Guest
If you are dating a guy with the main purpose that you mutually are getting to know each other better to find out if you are interested in marriage, then you are courting even if you call it dating.
You can call it whatever you want.
But, going out with someone else in a semi-exclusive way without any serious long term intentions is really playing with your future and your partner's future. Some people say it is defrauding the other person.
Of course this is the most common relationship we have in our society. People have relationships that become semi-serious. They often even move in together without even having an honest heart to heart talk about committment, children, marriage etc.
You can call it whatever you want.
But, going out with someone else in a semi-exclusive way without any serious long term intentions is really playing with your future and your partner's future. Some people say it is defrauding the other person.
Of course this is the most common relationship we have in our society. People have relationships that become semi-serious. They often even move in together without even having an honest heart to heart talk about committment, children, marriage etc.
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Galatians513
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Let's not forget that since it's assumed that Christians court, these relationships should be celibate... Hopefully...
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Ok, so if you are courting you are more serious than just "dating". Why not just call that dating too? Or even put the word "serious" in front of it? Why do you have to make separate words and make it sound like we are doing things 15th century style?
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chocolateloverjen
ALSO: ricloverjen AND godloverjen
here it means: dating= going on dates together and getting to know them. courting= like flirting with them and trying to get them to be yours.
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I thought that you always date with the hopes that it will be forever. You don't ask someone to be your girlfriend only for a couple months because then I will want someone new. Hmm...I'm confused. So was I courting with my guy and not dating since i would only ever date someone if I could see us getting married?? 
You don't ask someone to be your girlfriend only for a couple months because then I will want someone new. Hmm...I'm confused. So was I courting with my guy and not dating since i would only ever date someone if I could see us getting married??
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In my opinion, "courting" is just a Christian buzzword slapped onto the consept of "dating" to make those involved feel like its somehow more Biblical or right. I personally like to drop the feel-good terms & just call it what it is. I date to find a marriage partner, not for random fun. It matters not what you call it, as long as you're going about it with the right intentions. Be careful calling it by a new name, because you might be tricked into thinking its somehow of a higher calibur than traditional dating.
God bless,
Mere
God bless,
Mere
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bumblebee62331
Well-Known Member
"Courting" is not a Christian term.
It dates back many many years in history! Why do people assume it is only a Christian thing? Sure, Christians court but it's not a Christian term. Non-Christians court.
My parents keep telling me about how they used to court, and my grandparents courted, in England, in the 30's and 40's etc.
courting
n : a man's courtingof a woman; seeking the affections of a
woman (usually with the hope of marriage); "its was a
brief and intense courtship" [syn: courtship, wooing,
suit]
The History of Courtship
This site is very good, it shows the difference between Courting and Dating.
It dates back many many years in history! Why do people assume it is only a Christian thing? Sure, Christians court but it's not a Christian term. Non-Christians court.
My parents keep telling me about how they used to court, and my grandparents courted, in England, in the 30's and 40's etc.
courting
n : a man's courtingof a woman; seeking the affections of a
woman (usually with the hope of marriage); "its was a
brief and intense courtship" [syn: courtship, wooing,
suit]
The History of Courtship
This site is very good, it shows the difference between Courting and Dating.
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[QUOTEByootaful
]"Courting" is not a Christian term.
It dates back many many years in history! Why do people assume it is only a Christian thing? Sure, Christians court but it's not a Christian term. Non-Christians court. [/QUOTE]
Yes, but "courting" is a word that Christians use to make themselves feel better about dating. They can tell their pastor "I am courting a girl" and feel better about it than saying "I am dating a girl"
And non-christians may court, but I dont think sex is a part of courtship.
]"Courting" is not a Christian term.
It dates back many many years in history! Why do people assume it is only a Christian thing? Sure, Christians court but it's not a Christian term. Non-Christians court. [/QUOTE]
Yes, but "courting" is a word that Christians use to make themselves feel better about dating. They can tell their pastor "I am courting a girl" and feel better about it than saying "I am dating a girl"
And non-christians may court, but I dont think sex is a part of courtship.
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J
JVD
Guest
If you want to get down to it, you can call it anything you want.
The point is, many people go into relationships without any real committment or thought about the future. Actually, there might be some thought, but no serious discussions. They just like the guy/girl and think maybe something will work out.
I see so many relationships where things are really one-sided. A good relationships requires good communication from the start. This means that people should know some basics before dating/courting and know lots of details after just a few dates. Those details should be enough to know if there is any future.
I get pretty discouraged watching so many christian lives get messed up because people don't treat relationships seriously.
The point is, many people go into relationships without any real committment or thought about the future. Actually, there might be some thought, but no serious discussions. They just like the guy/girl and think maybe something will work out.
I see so many relationships where things are really one-sided. A good relationships requires good communication from the start. This means that people should know some basics before dating/courting and know lots of details after just a few dates. Those details should be enough to know if there is any future.
I get pretty discouraged watching so many christian lives get messed up because people don't treat relationships seriously.
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