The Bride's Day

[Beanieboy]

In working on some grammar topics and using Superstitions for 1st Conditionals, I found one comment that made me stop for a minute: "All focus should be on the bride."

Why do heterosexuals think that the bride should be the focus? Isn't the couple the focus? Their joining together?

So often, people will say, "well, she has dreamed of this day since she was a little girl." A bride once said, "It's like for one day, all attention is on me, and I get to be a fairy princess." I would understand that if you were 8, but this is about going into a commitment with each other, not just the "bride's day".

What do you think about that? Why do you think it is, and do you think it is right?

 

[Nithavela]

It's only fair that the bride gets all attention on her wedding day because all other days, men reign supreme.

You know, like carnival when for one week, the people of the street "ruled", or those "boss for a day" things. It's a trick to get people to be contempt with being in the lower position by granting them the right to be in a higher position for a short time while ensuring that during this time, it is just an illusion.

 

[Diane_Windsor]

Why shouldn't it be the Bride's day?

Most men are very happy for their fiancee to shine on their wedding day.

 

[paperkate]

Well, there seems to be such an unhealthy interest in the purity of the bride BEFORE the day.... it only follows that she will be under scrutiny on the day itself.

I'm half surprised that the tradition of showing the bridal sheets the morning after the wedding hasn't been resurrected in some circles.

 

[Robbie_James_Francis]

I think it only serves to increase the discrimination she faces as a womyn. In my opinion, to be focused on for one day only because you are marrying a man is simply to distract from the harsh realities of a sexist society.

On the other hand, it means that many wedding shops have offers where the clothes for the groom come for free. So when I get married there's one expense I don't have to worry about as it'll just be two grooms.

 

[katautumn]

I think a lot of it has to do with tradition. I had a huge, fairy tale wedding for my first marriage. My ex told me, "just tell me what color my tux should be and tell me what time to be there and I'll show up". He had zero interest in all of the frilly details such as what font the wedding invites should be printed in and whether or not it really mattered if the peach napkins were a slightly different shade than the peach accent frosting on the wedding cake.

Now, with my second marriage, my husband and I knew we had both been married before and the wedding itself wasn't of so much importance. I only had two stipulations (one both of us were adamant about) we were going to have a civil ceremony with no religious overtones and I was going to make my own dress. We both agreed on a non-religious ceremony and I made my wedding ensemble. It was very simple. I made a hippie style apron top and a matching white cotton eyelet floor length skirt with pink accents. I wore white flip-flops LOL But it was great. We both got ready together that morning and it was truly a bonding experience.

I think it's different for each couple. Of course, I want to throw objects at my TV screen every time I watch that show Bridezilla. Sorry, but if I had been any one of those women's bridesmaid I would have punched them in the face. I don't care if it is "your special, special day". You talk to me like that and you're going to be heading to the department store cosmetics counter to find the perfect concealer to hide that shiner I gave you Haha

 

[craigerNY]

What do you think about that? Why do you think it is, and do you think it is right?

My apologies in advance for making a sexist post but I am being candid about how I feel. It's her day trust me. If you have ever been married or been close to a marrying couple you'll understand.

The true reason it is perpetuated as her day is because of economics. If you were to market a wedding to a guy it is likely that the beer would be the biggest expense and the ceremony would be done with the wedding party in t shirts, shorts and sandals. The wedding and reception would be one event and it would be dish to pass. The whole thing would cost $2,000 90% of which would be for the booze.

A woman on the other hand you can sell a $20,000 wedding to without even trying.

It's the woman's day and that is a good thing because if it were the guy's day someone would either get arrested or break a bone. Whatever the case the "guy's day" would be embarrassingly tacky.

That's what I think about it and in regards to your question is it right. Well it's good for the economy and it's good for public safety so I say it's win-win. Let it be her day but let all of the days ahead of them be their days equally. I find that the corollary for the guys is the reception.