The Athiest

[Rich48]

An atheist was walking through the woods one day in
Alaska, admiring all that evolution had created. "What
majestic trees! What a powerful river! What beautiful
animals!" he said to himself. As he was walking
alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes
behind him. Turning to look, he saw a 13-foot Kodiak
brown bear beginning to charge towards him. He ran as
fast as he could down the path. He looked over his
shoulder and saw that the bear was rapidly closing on
him.... somehow, he ran even faster,so scared that
tears came to his eyes... He looked again and the bear
was even closer. His heart pounding in his chest, he
tried to run faster yet.

But alas, he tripped and fell to the ground. As he
rolled over to pick himself up, the bear was right
over him, reaching for him with its left paw and
raising its right paw to strike him. "OH MY GOD!..."

Time stopped....... The bear froze. The forest was
silent. Even the river stopped moving .... ...... As a
brilliant light shone upon the man, a thunderous voice
came from all around "YOU DENY MY EXISTENCE FOR ALL
THESE YEARS, TEACH OTHERS THAT I DON'T EXIST AND EVEN
CREDIT CREATION TO SOME COSMIC ACCIDENT! DO YOU REALLY
EXPECT ME TO HELP YOU OUT OF THIS PREDICAMENT? AM I TO
COUNT YOU AS A BELIEVER?"

Difficult as it was, the atheist looked directly into
the light and said, "It would be hypocritical to ask
to be a Christian after all these years, but perhaps
you could make the bear a Christian?"

"VERY WELL." said God. The light went out..... The
river ran...... The sounds of the forest
resumed........ and the bear dropped down on his
knees, brought both paws together, bowed his head and
spoke:

"Lord, thank you for this food which I am about to
receive."

 

[YoungJoonKim]

lol
the statement
"OH MY ..." (Forbidden to use for me;
truly makes everything different lol
God bless

 

[Atlantians]

I have never heard it told like that. Great Job!

 

[Ainur]

ehheheehhehe

 

[godisgr8]

lol

 

[BlueJay180]

Here's another one about the atheist:

Epitaph on a tombstone:
Here lies an athiest - all dressed up and no place to go.

 

[musicalmeg20]

LOL!!! Now that's a good story!

 

[i1will1obey1god]

lol thats horrible but funny

 

[Randombitsofstring]

Why is it not ok to tell jokes making fun of Christians, but it’s ok to laugh and make fun of Atheists? Is that how we are suppose to show the love of God to all people—by mocking those who do not believe the same way?

 

[i1will1obey1god]

Why is it not ok to tell jokes making fun of Christians, but it’s ok to laugh and make fun of Atheists? Is that how we are suppose to show the love of God to all people—by mocking those who do not believe the same way?

WOAH I LAUGH AT JOKES MAKING FUN OF CHRISTIANS THANK YOU BUT I FIND IT VULGER TO HURT PPL OF DIFFERENT RELIGIONS BUT I LAUGH NONE THE LESS

 

[iamafriendofGod]

Really nice joke!!

 

[TheWakeUpCaller]

Why is it not ok to tell jokes making fun of Christians, but it’s ok to laugh and make fun of Atheists? Is that how we are suppose to show the love of God to all people—by mocking those who do not believe the same way?

I see christian jokes. They are funny too. Why are you in here? Tell me one I promise to laugh. Come on smile. I see you

 

[TheWakeUpCaller]

wait that had a bear being a christian. I liked it.

 

[Randombitsofstring]

I see christian jokes. They are funny too. Why are you in here? Tell me one I promise to laugh. Come on smile. I see you

The first time I heard this joke instead of an atheist it was a Jew—and I think if someone had posted the joke with a Jewish person being eaten then I doubt the mods would allow it. But someone changes it to atheist and its ok now? How is it ok to mock someone for their religious belief or lack of?

 

[SumSam]

Actually the first time I heard this joke, it was a pastor who got lost in the woods and got chased by the bear.

And I laughed because instead of asking God to save him from the bear, he prayed for God to make the bear a Christian. And the poor pastor got exactly what he prayed for!

Its got nothing to do with athiests or Jews or Christians, but to do with the way you pray, JMO.

 

[Rich48]

Actually the first time I heard this joke, it was a pastor who got lost in the woods and got chased by the bear.

And I laughed because instead of asking God to save him from the bear, he prayed for God to make the bear a Christian. And the poor pastor got exactly what he prayed for!

Its got nothing to do with athiests or Jews or Christians, but to do with the way you pray, JMO.

That is exactly the point!

 

[Dallyn]

I love it. lol.

 

[Bonhoffer]

Why is it not ok to tell jokes making fun of Christians, but it’s ok to laugh and make fun of Atheists? Is that how we are suppose to show the love of God to all people—by mocking those who do not believe the same way?

I think you'll find that Jesus mocked those with hardened hearts and Psalms calls atheists 'fools'. I think it is ok to make jokes about Christians as long as Christ Himself is not mocked!

 

[Bonhoffer]

The first time I heard this joke instead of an atheist it was a Jew—and I think if someone had posted the joke with a Jewish person being eaten then I doubt the mods would allow it. But someone changes it to atheist and its ok now? How is it ok to mock someone for their religious belief or lack of?

Jewish people are an ethnic group as well as a religion. Atheism is totally a choice. One can be born Jewish or black, but one cannot be born atheist!

 

[Chazper]

i know that this is just a joke... but i think it is NOT wise for a christian to tell stories or jokes that refers to God having said things that He really did not said.

just my 2 cents...