Thank you, (play that I wrote)

[PegasusOnFire]

Thank you
By Robin Leah Helton

Cast:
Janet: 13yr old girl. Quiet and shy.
Billy: 16yr old boy. Outgoing, loud.
Gunner: 15yr old boy. Much like Billy.
Coral: 14yr old girl. Preppy, Valley girlish.


Setting: Church parking lot after service.

(Opens with Janet and Coral walking to their family’s car)

Janet: So Coral what did you think of the lesson today in Sunday School?

Coral: It was ok, but I think that Herald should have picked a different shirt to wear. I mean come on, did he have to wear that out of date surfer shirt.

(Billy and Gunner run up to the girls)

Billy: Hey girls wait up, dad said that I could have the car today. Want to go some where?

Janet: Billy you are such a..... Ugh. (throws hands up in the air)

Gunner: Hey Janet, I saw that you were really listening to Herald today. What was the lesson about anyway?

Janet: Gunner the lesson was about how we should love one another, like Jesus loved us.

Coral: Hey Billy, Gunner. (waves to them)

Gunner: Oh, like we are supposed to love Herald, even though he wore that ridiculous shirt today?

Janet: Yes.

Coral: So you are saying that when Herald talks in the morning, we are supposed to learn something?

Janet: Yes Coral. If you three would actually pay attention in Sunday School you might learn something.

Billy: I learn things every Sunday. I learn that if we sit there and pretend to listen to him, he won’t call on me to answer a question.

Janet: I think the point is lost on you Billy. We are supposed to apply what we have learned in Sunday School to our lives. For example, last week Brother Herald taught on helping others out. Well Monday at school I learned that we had a new student start at school, so I volunteered to help her. What has Brother Herald said that caused you to do something that you wouldn’t normally do?

Billy: Well there was that one time that he asked for prayer requests, before class, and.....

Gunner: (Interrupts Billy) He always asks for prayer requests.

Billy: I know that, but this time it was me that asked for prayer. I asked if he could pray for some tests that I would be taking, and you know what he did? He prayed for them. He then called me on Friday to ask how they went.

Coral: Well remember that time that my house burned down. He invited my family to live with him and his wife, until we could get a new house.

Gunner: So you are all saying that Herald is more than our Sunday School teacher?

Janet: Yes Gunner. He is our friend, supporter, and a prayer warrior for us.

Gunner: Well, maybe we should do something for him.

Coral: Like what?

Gunner: Maybe we could get him a card, just to say thanks for everything that he has done for us.

Billy: Or maybe we could be extra nice to him and actually pay attention in class.

Janet: We could all write him a little note to say thanks.

Coral: Oh look here he comes now. (points somewhere offstage) Why don’t we just tell him thank you?

Gunner: Yeah that sounds like a good idea.

Together: (all four turn to the audience) Thank you for being our Sunday School teacher(s).

(walk off stage)

 

[yakkmeister]

Dialog.
It's a very difficult thing to write.
I am certainly *not* very good at it myself.
However; there are some tricks to writing it.

It would seem to me that you have run the dialog through your head, but not actually spoken it out loud.
Why?
because people don't actually talk with their mouths in the same fashion that they speak.
Or type for that matter.

From the point of view of an actorl; it's aweful.
The forced dialog makes characterization a chore, unnatural and hard as anything.

From a teaching point of view; it's fine.
The message is there, if long-winded.

For the sake of the actors: rewrite.

I have noticed that this is another thread of yours taht I have responed to; I conclude that you seem to be rather active as far as writing.
You are to be commended.

 

[Blessed-one]

very real situation about the boys not paying attention at church. Didn't i used to do that sometimes too?
a good message indeed.