- May 6, 2005
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Haylo, peoples! It's me, your favorite Bard! I finally got up enough sense to actually make one of these things since I've been meaning to for a long time now. I'm just going to tell a little bit about myself, and then you all can judge me by what you have here.
Heres my life's (short as it is) testimony: I'm going to say I'm thirteen (so that in the long run this stays accuarate), but it goes back further. Litterally from birth, almost every weekend I took an hour drive from my house in Spokane North to a small city called Qusick. There, I hung out with my cousins and my grandparants and greatgrandparants. They were just as close to me as my parants were, and I enjoyed going down and swimming and walking in the forests and such. They were all very strong Christians, almost stuborn to their theological beliefs in some ways, and I think that's rubbed off on me a bit. This happened for about seven years (well, ok, I didn't neccisarily swim at birth, but when I could, I did) untill something major happened. My greatgrandpa, almost 77, got cancer. For a long while I didn't go down to my grandparants house as often as not, and I wasn't even sure what was making my grandpa so sick, just that it was really bad.
Then one week I did go down with a couple friends, and I remember seeing my grandpa laying on the couch in the living room. I was really shy about even talking to him, because I had no idea what was really going on, but I knew deep down, even though I didn't exactly what this meant either, that he was going to die. He always told my greatgrandma, "Marry, I'm going home. I'm going to be with Jesus."
Something else that happened in this time frame is my baby brother was born. I wasn't the center of attention anymore, which I think might have set me off a little early, but I always denied being jealous, and always tried not to be jealous, playing with my toys and making up stories to pass the time, or playing Nintendo 64 (yeah, I know, old school, right?), but the crying in the background wasn't that easy to ignore at times.
Then it happened.
It wasn't the nice 'he died in the middle of the night' sort of theatrical you always hear about. No. He died in the day while everyone else was eating a late breakfast. I wasn't there, but at home for Summer break when it happened. But he died. I cried at the funeral, but I hid it from everyone else. In my seven year old mind, I was processing everything to the best of my ability. My greatgrandpa, who had loved me, teased me, taken me fishing, and taught me how to fish for that matter, played cards with me, and every other found memory I had of him, was gone. Still thinking this through, I helped burry him.
I guess you could say I never really got over it for a long time. Just a few short mounths afterwards, only in October (school started the first of September) we moved to... well, I can't tell you, so I'm not going to say. But now I was away from my Grandparants, and I was cooped up with a newborn and my parants whom were always paying attention to 'him' as I labled my brother, and the worst part was we sold our dog before we moved, and we all lived in an apartment complex too small for my liking, having litterally grown up with a large backyard (or it seemed large) and at my Grandparents house who lived in the country where I could take long walks or swim whenever I wanted. It was then that I finally processed what my conclusion was: God, if there was one, had taken my grandpa away from me, and at the time, I thought out of spite. You have to realize that I had grown up in a family of strong Christians where we were suposed to only things for God's love and purpose. Or that was my interpretation of it, though it wasn't exactly like that. So in my mind I imagined that either we had done something really wrong or our God was a spiteful one.
I made friends easily enough though. I had gone to a Christian based Pre-School/Kindergarden, and then a Catholic Private School all my life though, so it was a different experience being in a public school. I was engulfed in new comedies (or what I would call pervertedies, but none of us really understood what we were talking about anyways), new philosophies ('So what if your parants told you not to? Do it anyway!') and new activities (this one was positive. I started riding bikes with friends and playing more games like Hide-And-Go-Seek or such, which I hadn't been able to much save with my older and one younger cousins).
I think one of the most major influences I had on my life was Liam. Liam is a friend of mine whom I met in the Apartments. We were both Anime fans, both loved fantasy, and both loved fighting (I had taken a few kids-classes of karate before I moved, but I didn't learn much). He was a positive and negative influence really. He was positive because he toughened me up. People had taunted me with names like 'Cry-Baby-[My name would go here, but I can't tell you it, so... yeah]' and the sort, but I got over that stage. We also stayed fit with races with other friends and fighting, and we a lot of fun just doing what people might consider nerdy things as well, like Yu-Gi-Oh and Pokemon and such. We were best of friends till I turned 11, which was when we moved again. Not far. Only three miles from the apartments. But some how (and don't ask me how) it was enough to change School districts.
Now, let's get this straight. In the Apartments, I wasn't in a very Christ-like inviorment. Liam only believed in Christ when I was ten because of personal reasons, but he was never religious, coming from a non-religious Catholic family, and all my other friends (all were older than I till just before I moved) had a very atheistic view of things. And it only fueled my distaste for God.
That's when I moved. I went to a new school, 6th grade, with a kid named Miles. Miles, now, was a very crazy kid, but we became friends almost at once. We enjoyed the same books, same subjects, same jokes. So me, him, and Hootan, another kid with similar interests made a small circle of friends. (It was more of a triangle, but we can debate geometry later). Now Miles and I understood a lot about Christianity. Not to say I agreed with him on a lot of subjects, and I never really said I loved God. I had accepted Christ into my heart before my grandpa died, but I hadn't understood exactly what that meant. So we discussed things, and I seemed to be for it to him, but never against it. I think he really opened up my eyes to these things again, though.
Then, what do you know, I stumble on this site. Don't ask me how, I just know it was a fluke that happened while researching Greek Philosophers in the computer lab for Social Studies. It looked... interesting, to tell the truth. That night, I went home, and brought it up again. I joined, and then I met more people in RPG's, but the main man was Texmex's Friend, aka Echuu Shen Jon. Now this guy was really open. He was really nice. He was so cool to me about such things as religion, and he was really loving. I was just like, 'Wow! Look at this guy!' I think that was when I really rethought things. I don't know exactly how things worked in my mind, but it came to the point where I looked at my Grandpa on his death bed, when he started saying, "I'm going home to be with Jesus." Now it seemed that God wasn't out to get us all. He was going home to Christ, he said. What God would punish somebody by doing that? Then I asked myself: How does he know? I looked at Miles and Echuu. Both of them were convicted. Rich (Echuu) was subtle, but an image of God's love in his children. Miles was a forward guy, who knew what God had said, and would fight till he died for it.
That's when it hit me: God had worked in their lives; these people were living proof that he existed. I read my Bible again. I had more conversations with Miles. And then the mask was taken off. I really meant what I was saying when I talked about God. I asked Jesus to enter my heart forever. That's how it is.
So here I am, turning 13 in five days, writing songs, stories, and confessing Christ in every way I can. I really believe that my Grandfather, Rich, Miles, and everyone else mentioned above was set there to influence me towards Christ. I know it seems kind of out there cause I'm 13 and what do I know, but I'm as convicted as anyone can be.
So sue me if you disagree.
God's blessings and Jesus's love~
Maxster (Da' Bard)
Heres my life's (short as it is) testimony: I'm going to say I'm thirteen (so that in the long run this stays accuarate), but it goes back further. Litterally from birth, almost every weekend I took an hour drive from my house in Spokane North to a small city called Qusick. There, I hung out with my cousins and my grandparants and greatgrandparants. They were just as close to me as my parants were, and I enjoyed going down and swimming and walking in the forests and such. They were all very strong Christians, almost stuborn to their theological beliefs in some ways, and I think that's rubbed off on me a bit. This happened for about seven years (well, ok, I didn't neccisarily swim at birth, but when I could, I did) untill something major happened. My greatgrandpa, almost 77, got cancer. For a long while I didn't go down to my grandparants house as often as not, and I wasn't even sure what was making my grandpa so sick, just that it was really bad.
Then one week I did go down with a couple friends, and I remember seeing my grandpa laying on the couch in the living room. I was really shy about even talking to him, because I had no idea what was really going on, but I knew deep down, even though I didn't exactly what this meant either, that he was going to die. He always told my greatgrandma, "Marry, I'm going home. I'm going to be with Jesus."
Something else that happened in this time frame is my baby brother was born. I wasn't the center of attention anymore, which I think might have set me off a little early, but I always denied being jealous, and always tried not to be jealous, playing with my toys and making up stories to pass the time, or playing Nintendo 64 (yeah, I know, old school, right?), but the crying in the background wasn't that easy to ignore at times.
Then it happened.
It wasn't the nice 'he died in the middle of the night' sort of theatrical you always hear about. No. He died in the day while everyone else was eating a late breakfast. I wasn't there, but at home for Summer break when it happened. But he died. I cried at the funeral, but I hid it from everyone else. In my seven year old mind, I was processing everything to the best of my ability. My greatgrandpa, who had loved me, teased me, taken me fishing, and taught me how to fish for that matter, played cards with me, and every other found memory I had of him, was gone. Still thinking this through, I helped burry him.
I guess you could say I never really got over it for a long time. Just a few short mounths afterwards, only in October (school started the first of September) we moved to... well, I can't tell you, so I'm not going to say. But now I was away from my Grandparants, and I was cooped up with a newborn and my parants whom were always paying attention to 'him' as I labled my brother, and the worst part was we sold our dog before we moved, and we all lived in an apartment complex too small for my liking, having litterally grown up with a large backyard (or it seemed large) and at my Grandparents house who lived in the country where I could take long walks or swim whenever I wanted. It was then that I finally processed what my conclusion was: God, if there was one, had taken my grandpa away from me, and at the time, I thought out of spite. You have to realize that I had grown up in a family of strong Christians where we were suposed to only things for God's love and purpose. Or that was my interpretation of it, though it wasn't exactly like that. So in my mind I imagined that either we had done something really wrong or our God was a spiteful one.
I made friends easily enough though. I had gone to a Christian based Pre-School/Kindergarden, and then a Catholic Private School all my life though, so it was a different experience being in a public school. I was engulfed in new comedies (or what I would call pervertedies, but none of us really understood what we were talking about anyways), new philosophies ('So what if your parants told you not to? Do it anyway!') and new activities (this one was positive. I started riding bikes with friends and playing more games like Hide-And-Go-Seek or such, which I hadn't been able to much save with my older and one younger cousins).
I think one of the most major influences I had on my life was Liam. Liam is a friend of mine whom I met in the Apartments. We were both Anime fans, both loved fantasy, and both loved fighting (I had taken a few kids-classes of karate before I moved, but I didn't learn much). He was a positive and negative influence really. He was positive because he toughened me up. People had taunted me with names like 'Cry-Baby-[My name would go here, but I can't tell you it, so... yeah]' and the sort, but I got over that stage. We also stayed fit with races with other friends and fighting, and we a lot of fun just doing what people might consider nerdy things as well, like Yu-Gi-Oh and Pokemon and such. We were best of friends till I turned 11, which was when we moved again. Not far. Only three miles from the apartments. But some how (and don't ask me how) it was enough to change School districts.
Now, let's get this straight. In the Apartments, I wasn't in a very Christ-like inviorment. Liam only believed in Christ when I was ten because of personal reasons, but he was never religious, coming from a non-religious Catholic family, and all my other friends (all were older than I till just before I moved) had a very atheistic view of things. And it only fueled my distaste for God.
That's when I moved. I went to a new school, 6th grade, with a kid named Miles. Miles, now, was a very crazy kid, but we became friends almost at once. We enjoyed the same books, same subjects, same jokes. So me, him, and Hootan, another kid with similar interests made a small circle of friends. (It was more of a triangle, but we can debate geometry later). Now Miles and I understood a lot about Christianity. Not to say I agreed with him on a lot of subjects, and I never really said I loved God. I had accepted Christ into my heart before my grandpa died, but I hadn't understood exactly what that meant. So we discussed things, and I seemed to be for it to him, but never against it. I think he really opened up my eyes to these things again, though.
Then, what do you know, I stumble on this site. Don't ask me how, I just know it was a fluke that happened while researching Greek Philosophers in the computer lab for Social Studies. It looked... interesting, to tell the truth. That night, I went home, and brought it up again. I joined, and then I met more people in RPG's, but the main man was Texmex's Friend, aka Echuu Shen Jon. Now this guy was really open. He was really nice. He was so cool to me about such things as religion, and he was really loving. I was just like, 'Wow! Look at this guy!' I think that was when I really rethought things. I don't know exactly how things worked in my mind, but it came to the point where I looked at my Grandpa on his death bed, when he started saying, "I'm going home to be with Jesus." Now it seemed that God wasn't out to get us all. He was going home to Christ, he said. What God would punish somebody by doing that? Then I asked myself: How does he know? I looked at Miles and Echuu. Both of them were convicted. Rich (Echuu) was subtle, but an image of God's love in his children. Miles was a forward guy, who knew what God had said, and would fight till he died for it.
That's when it hit me: God had worked in their lives; these people were living proof that he existed. I read my Bible again. I had more conversations with Miles. And then the mask was taken off. I really meant what I was saying when I talked about God. I asked Jesus to enter my heart forever. That's how it is.
So here I am, turning 13 in five days, writing songs, stories, and confessing Christ in every way I can. I really believe that my Grandfather, Rich, Miles, and everyone else mentioned above was set there to influence me towards Christ. I know it seems kind of out there cause I'm 13 and what do I know, but I'm as convicted as anyone can be.
So sue me if you disagree.
God's blessings and Jesus's love~
Maxster (Da' Bard)
