I just came off a manic episode. Most people describe their "mania" as euphoric, but I find it unsettling and terrifying. I can't sit still. I can't sleep. I can't stop my legs and hands from shaking. I have panic attacks. I pray for it to end quickly. If I had to choose depression or mania, I think I would rather be depressed. Does anyone else feel this way?
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Terrifying Mania
- Thread starter AllieCat
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wonderwaleye
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Dear AllieCat
You must have NEVER been in clinical depression!!! I hope you never are.
Get on the RIGHT med's. Be patient but don't wait!!! This is death starring you in the eyes!!!
EVEN IN THIS ALWAYS REMEMBER:
X Even though you can't see him, GOD is there!!! O
( click on the x and drag to the O ) ( then see who is with you ) steven
You must have NEVER been in clinical depression!!! I hope you never are.
Get on the RIGHT med's. Be patient but don't wait!!! This is death starring you in the eyes!!!
EVEN IN THIS ALWAYS REMEMBER:
X Even though you can't see him, GOD is there!!! O
( click on the x and drag to the O ) ( then see who is with you ) steven
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I actually have been in-patient for depression and have done things that I'm not proud of during those bouts of "clinical" depression. I still would chose that over this form of mania. I have been trying to get on the right meds for 4 years. Thanks for your input.
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Alive again
A daughter of the King of Kings!
allliecat,
Welcome to cf!!! Yes, I do know exactly what you mean. I had depression on and of since I was a child. Suicidal for the first time at 16 and on and off for the next thirty years. On antidepressants a time or two with good effect and then got extremely depressed and the meds were not helping. Depression was a part of me and I became very comfortable with it, with how to deal and cope with it and when to get help and when I was okay. I became comfortable with society's and my friends and family's definition of depression.
I know depression, it is not my friend, I don't enjoy it, but it is a monster I have tamed and come to terms with. I know what to do when he comes knocking at my door.
My manias began about two years ago in my mid 40's. Now looking back I can see that the few good hours or day here and therethat I had during my severely depressed years where early manias that where not yet "out of normal bounds". But the day came when these horrible outbursts of ugly anger and rage and thoughts of hurting people in my anger developed. I HATE THIS! It is so different than who I seek to be and who I define myself as. Suddenly I was talking to strangers in the store about my life-what??? That is just to weird. I REALLY AM UNCOMFORTABLE AND DO NOT LIKE THIS!!!! It has taken me time to grow into this illness called bp. To learn how to deal and cope with this other monster, just as difficult but in a different way. I am getting to the point that I can almost say that it is also a monster I have tamed and know how to deal with. And the other monster (depression) is a more distant memory. I truly do know how you feel.
It has taken a long and hard search to find the right med, to find the right counselor and to do the learning and the hard work to get to this place, but it is a place we can all make it too, for whether we gain good control with a med or are one who is lurking and have yet to find what works for them, we have a mighty God who can utilize the duffering in our lifes in ways we can never imagine. He is big enough to meet us whether we love mania/depression or hate it, He is right there with us.
Blessings and prayers!!!
Do know this ia a wonderful source of support here at CF, thought we are individuals and may not always agree, we do understand!!!
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I appreciate everything that you said. In a strange way, it's comforting to know that it's not just me being weird. I praise God that you took the time to give me a detailed response. God bless you always.
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Not really my biz man but what happens if you just go with it, let it play out instead of trying to battle it?
anyways bless you and I'll pray this will end for you
and remember Jesus is still right there
peace
Gentle
anyways bless you and I'll pray this will end for you
and remember Jesus is still right there
peace
Gentle
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- Mar 25, 2005
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I go manic in both my manic and my depresed state, I prefer the mania stage by VERY far over the depressed one.
Gerry
Gerry
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lostchildhood
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yes there ae timies i feel secared, and mky lofe seems to be going in i million places, and boy si that suck, sorry i mean boy mean no fun. i have maner depresion, PSTS, axtery, form pasted abused, ii undersand how you feel, you need tooo know there ii he;;p talk someone please
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