TENSE COMMUNICATION (Part One)
By Gail Rodgers
She blinked back tears as she told me how hard communication had become between her and her husband. "I know I can only change me, not him, so what do I do?" she asked. "How can I keep from dissolving into tears every time I try to talk to him?"
The young wife was wise in her understanding that no one has the ability to change another. We can only change ourselves. That change will very often foster changes in the relationships around us.
God will give us the wisdom we need to make changes in tense relationships. His Word reveals practical insight. The communication cycle starts in our hearts.
Recognize that the overflow of your mouth comes from the attitude of your heart.
"Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks" (Luke 6:45b).
* Ask God to meet the needs of your heart so you can respond with wisdom rather than reacting out of hurt emotions.
Know that your self-worth is determined by what God says about you. It is not determined by the words of others. Past hurts buried in our hearts often become the filters we put the words of others through. Recognize what is true about yourself and what is not. Ask God to give you clarity of understanding. Ask Him to begin the healing process of the deep hurts that have become your filters.
* Ask God to give you a desire to change the attitude of your heart toward the person you are in tense communication with.
Examine the attitude of your heart toward this particular person. Ask God to help you see that person through His eyes. Ask Him to grow your love for that person in new ways. If it is your husband, ask God to help you recall the things that drew you to fall in love with him in the first place. Ask God for a tender heart that loves with His love.
* Ask God to give you a willingness to change in spite of all the justification of your own heart to respond negatively.
You may be able to justify every negative response you have toward this person. Yet if you want this communication cycle to change it will have to begin with you and it will take time. Ask God to give you a willingness to change and depend on His Holy Spirit to help you.
Father in Heaven,
You know the tense cycle that exists in my communication in this particular relationship. I know that it takes two to work this out yet I know I can only work on change in me. Help me to examine my hurting heart and allow You to touch me and begin to heal the pain there. Give me a new attitude and the power of Your Holy Spirit to respond differently. I need You Lord and I thank you for caring. In Jesus' name, amen.
By Gail Rodgers
She blinked back tears as she told me how hard communication had become between her and her husband. "I know I can only change me, not him, so what do I do?" she asked. "How can I keep from dissolving into tears every time I try to talk to him?"
The young wife was wise in her understanding that no one has the ability to change another. We can only change ourselves. That change will very often foster changes in the relationships around us.
God will give us the wisdom we need to make changes in tense relationships. His Word reveals practical insight. The communication cycle starts in our hearts.
Recognize that the overflow of your mouth comes from the attitude of your heart.
"Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks" (Luke 6:45b).
* Ask God to meet the needs of your heart so you can respond with wisdom rather than reacting out of hurt emotions.
Know that your self-worth is determined by what God says about you. It is not determined by the words of others. Past hurts buried in our hearts often become the filters we put the words of others through. Recognize what is true about yourself and what is not. Ask God to give you clarity of understanding. Ask Him to begin the healing process of the deep hurts that have become your filters.
* Ask God to give you a desire to change the attitude of your heart toward the person you are in tense communication with.
Examine the attitude of your heart toward this particular person. Ask God to help you see that person through His eyes. Ask Him to grow your love for that person in new ways. If it is your husband, ask God to help you recall the things that drew you to fall in love with him in the first place. Ask God for a tender heart that loves with His love.
* Ask God to give you a willingness to change in spite of all the justification of your own heart to respond negatively.
You may be able to justify every negative response you have toward this person. Yet if you want this communication cycle to change it will have to begin with you and it will take time. Ask God to give you a willingness to change and depend on His Holy Spirit to help you.
Father in Heaven,
You know the tense cycle that exists in my communication in this particular relationship. I know that it takes two to work this out yet I know I can only work on change in me. Help me to examine my hurting heart and allow You to touch me and begin to heal the pain there. Give me a new attitude and the power of Your Holy Spirit to respond differently. I need You Lord and I thank you for caring. In Jesus' name, amen.
