Tempted to have sex :(

[thetrainman]

Hi!
Okay, I am in a bit of a weird stage of life at the moment. I really want to have sex with someone, and what makes it worse, is i know i probably could (i have a few people who fancy me and would). I really dont know how to get out of it or how to fix it. I know if i do, then after I will feel really bad, although eventually I will get over it. But then saying that, i will want it again, and again, and it most likely wont be with the one girl either
Please Help
Pete

 

[lovemysoldier]

I recommend that you pray for strength and guidance. I assume that you believe in saving sex for marriage and if that is the case then it looks like the devil is testing your morals. If the temptation is too much to bear then avoid situations that will be too hot to handle. You sound like a bright guy with a good head on his shoulders. Don't sell out.
I believe in you. Good luck!

 

[LiberatedChick]

I recommend that you pray for strength and guidance. I assume that you believe in saving sex for marriage and if that is the case then it looks like the devil is testing your morals. If the temptation is too much to bear then avoid situations that will be too hot to handle. You sound like a bright guy with a good head on his shoulders. Don't sell out.
I believe in you. Good luck!

This is good advice. Pray and keep focused on the Word of the Lord. Look up verses that explain how sex should be saved for marriage...write them out on some paper that you can keep with you and read when you feeling weak. Saving sex for marriage is truly a wonderful thing...don't give up on it

 

[kurabrhm]

Sorry mate.

 

[sarah_B]

keep on praying!!!! there are many of us in this society being tempted by sex, that includes me. god is with you stay true to him because gods ALWAYS in your life unlike people you could have sex with. stay true to your beliefs it's mega hard i know i'm going through it right now, but gods will perservails and sin is overcome with him!

 

[Melie]

Remember, the way to flee youthful and fleshly lusts is to seek God... When we satisfy the flesh we are dissatisfying the Spirit and when we satisfy the Spirit we are dissatisfying the flesh. We must try our hardest to live in the Spirit in order to withstand in times of temptations. If you believe you won't be able to control yourself in a moment of lust, flee from it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do not test yourself by allowing yourself to be placed in the middle of temptation. Remember that our flesh has NO strength to deal with these circumstances... the only strength we have is the Lord's strength manifested through us. God Bless and may God help you and I both in this matter.

 

[thetrainman]

Thanks for the encouragment.
I just feel so drained sometimes, and on the dry humour note, yes, today actually, but again, swore and was sad, guilty i had done it. I dunno, i have come like, as close as people can get before, but didnt have the bottle to go all the way, and looking back, i am VERY glad i didnt - it would have been in a tent, with a gurl who i now no longer speak to, who seems to be closer to the devil than to God. :/ I am glad he has given me the strangth, and remembering that situation alone has helped me just now lots.
Thanks
Peter

 

[sunshinejennii]

I can relate, sort of, until recently while I was aware of sex, attracted to guys and thourght I was a reasonable sexual being for an almost adult and I thourght i'd have a fair rough time not having sex until I got married, or even coming close to, it just didnt seem like an issue. I could never work out the appeal, was aware I was being naive and innocent and was greatful for that. Things have changed though, in a good and a bad way. I'm much much more aware of my sexuality, but I no longer flirt or come close to it. I'm secure in my singleness and my decision to remain so until I'm at least in uni. I don't see the point in me entering a relationship if I know it will end in less than a year. Not that it would last that long given past experience! It's rather confuddling!!

 

[TheTempleTeam]

Who doesn't find it hard? And yea, the majority of us could 'get it', it's unfortunatly quite easy. Pray dude, and discipline yourself, cut out sexual stuff out of your life, no touching yourself, no porn, no movies you shouldn't be watching or music you shouldn't be listening too, none of that stuff will help at all. Yea, it's tough, Christ never said it would be easy. All of us have to deal with this, but we can't do it alone, we need to rely on His stength, so pray pray pray. The ball's in your court.

 

[thetrainman]

I can do this - the devil is such a bum, but I can beat him!
I will look back at this thread when I need the encouragment more
He is great - he wont let me do it, and I wont let myself, I mean, I have come this far, so it would all be wasted if i didnt keep it. A personal challenge
Pete

 

[Bonhoffer]

Hi!
Okay, I am in a bit of a weird stage of life at the moment. I really want to have sex with someone, and what makes it worse, is i know i probably could (i have a few people who fancy me and would). I really dont know how to get out of it or how to fix it. I know if i do, then after I will feel really bad, although eventually I will get over it. But then saying that, i will want it again, and again, and it most likely wont be with the one girl either
Please Help
Pete

I am so proud of you brother for being concerned about this and having the guts to come here for advice. This shows that even if you do fall prey to your temptations, you are a moral man with the ways of God on your heart. Do not be ashamed of your temptation as all men are tempted and temptation is not sinful. The Bible says that God will never let you deal with more than what you can bear, therefore know that where ever you get there is always a way out! This will not be your way out, but one of Gods choosing! Therefore keep close to Him and pray for protection. As long as your heart is focused on Him you will be fine and not fall into the devils trap!

 

[kurabrhm]

, The ball's in your court.

Really?

 

[Peculiarone]

Tahnks for the encouragement to thetrainman and I am in the same situation with temptation and being aroused. It is so rough. Pray my strength that I will be celibate as I am now.

Keep the faith TTman and all the others in the same position...try and find something to occupy your time and mind as well.

 

[crimson_dragon]

Pray that you wont fall and pray that God will help you to resist temptation. I know that it can be hard but just keep praying and we are here for you

 

[Billnew]

You can control natures urges.

Friends always told me to make the first time special when I was younger.
(not wait until your married, just make it special)
It worked, I married the first woman I had sex with.

Celibacy is similar to marriage. You promise not to have sex until the time is right.
Marriage doesn't mean that you don't want to have sex with anyone else.
It means you promise to god that you will not give in to the temptation.

If you do give in, God will forgive you.
But as someone else said, don't get into situations where things might get out of hand.
Not many adulterers can say they accidently got carried away. Most of time people
ignore the oportunities to what is right. They let things go to far.

Currently, I know 3 women that if given the chance, I would have a hard time saying no to. But they will never know this, and I will never allow the chance for it to happen. I am happily married.

Sex will be something to understand and control for your whole life. Now and when you are married. Most men think this time when they are single is the time to sow the wild oats. Get it out of the system. But when you give in once, it's harder to not give in next time. The more different people the easier it is with different people.

So, while the right thing for me to say is wait until marriage, that is harder said then done. So wait until it's right...special, both for you and the one you are with.
Then even if you don't end up married you can still remember it as a good encounter not just mutual lust be satisfied.
But when you consider marriage, make sure you can keep the promise. God will forgive, if you repent to him. Your loved one might not.
God bless you, and know there are some who do make it to marriage before getting together.

 

[Billnew]

I can relate, sort of, until recently while I was aware of sex, attracted to guys and thourght I was a reasonable sexual being for an almost adult and I thourght i'd have a fair rough time not having sex until I got married, or even coming close to, it just didnt seem like an issue. I could never work out the appeal, was aware I was being naive and innocent and was greatful for that. Things have changed though, in a good and a bad way. I'm much much more aware of my sexuality, but I no longer flirt or come close to it. I'm secure in my singleness and my decision to remain so until I'm at least in uni. I don't see the point in me entering a relationship if I know it will end in less than a year. Not that it would last that long given past experience! It's rather confuddling!!

A thought for you youngsters.
You are leaving the boundries of childhood, parental control, and family give and take.
Don't rush to get married, tying yourself down to another family.
Spread your wings, soar alone in the crisp air. Find yourself in life before you find someone to spend your life with.
17-18 years of being told what to do, spend time taking care of just you.
You can find someone to be your sole mate when you know yourself better.
Just experience life with friends, not spouses.

I married at 26. We have been married 12 years. If you marry before you know yourself, marry someone who doesn't know themselves, then who will the couple when you each find yourself? Two ships that pass in the night might never pass again. But when the ships are traveling the same way, they are surely going to meet again.
Just a thought.
Enjoy this time.

 

[Johnnz]

Having sexual feelings and desires is normal. God made us that way. So, don't beat up on yourself for being a sexual being.

It's what you do with those desires that matters. Before marriage I often thought about sex, but that was always within the framework of waiting until marriage. It is not easy at times.

Our sex drive is real, recurring and can be pleasurable. A lifetime of marriage has never taken away its appeal. Our marriage is where we keep that part of our lives for, ans its there that you can learn about making ita long term pleasure that survives time, familiarity and ageing.

John
NZ

 

[Abiel]

Well done for facing this. I know I am an old married woman, happy too. But believe me this is not an issue you will only face at this time in your life. Sexual temptation will be there when you are a crusty old grandad! It's absolutely all pervasive in society, families, churches. So do not feel alone in this. The choice to stick to God's rules on sex is a life long committment. You are making a fantastic start on that journey.

Something which has helped my youth group is praying for their future husbands and wives, who are out there. They may not know them yet. One of the things they pray for (and it wasn't my idea!) is that their future partner will be strong in the face of temptation, and wait for God to bring them together.

 

[LilRitt04]

I was 15 or 16 when I lost my virginity. I became pregnant and then miscarried before my 17th birthday. Things never worked out for me, I was into drinking, and smoking and things that I swore up and down to my Mother that I would never do. But in turn I did them.

I became very sexually active throughout my Senior year in High School and also became emotionally and physically torn. My parents at the time were associate pastors of our church and I was "in the youth." It was like I was living a double life...

It eventually got to the point when I just broke down and couldnt take it. I could take it physically or emotionally any longer. Now as a born again Christian have come to realize that it is very hard to get away from things like this. I struggle everyday.

What my point in all this is...when you get into something such as sex and drugs and drinking...it is just a evil cycle and its VERY hard to overcome it. I can remember when I was really struggling with it...my Mom would be there for me the whole way through and she said "Sex may feel good at the moment, but eventually the moment ends." That is so true and it made me think. Think about what comes along with sex. Potentially pregnancy, disease, addiction, conflicts with family...Many things come out of just a few minutes of pleasure.

Its not worth it...I can tell you from experience and knowing that as much as you want it now...Wait...Wait until you have a wife...wait until you are financially stable to have a family if that happens. God has so much more for our lives other than sex. He did yes create it but he intended it for marriage. Keep that sacred. Find the person you will marry and enjoy her and enjoy being friends with her, and really search out what God wants for your life before you give something up that you can never take back.

God Bless,

~*JeNn*~

.::Feel free to PM me::.

 

[bought_with_blood]

Who doesn't find it hard? And yea, the majority of us could 'get it', it's unfortunatly quite easy. Pray dude, and discipline yourself, cut out sexual stuff out of your life, no touching yourself, no porn, no movies you shouldn't be watching or music you shouldn't be listening too, none of that stuff will help at all. Yea, it's tough, Christ never said it would be easy. All of us have to deal with this, but we can't do it alone, we need to rely on His stength, so pray pray pray. The ball's in your court.

Its really lovely to hear a guy who feels the same way as i do!! Sometimes it feels like a one-sided battle, but i'm sure you feel the same way the other way round!!

Can you get to know a Christian of the same sex with whom you can be sort of accountable? I've found it useful just to have someone to spend time with who can back me up when i'm feeling very close to doing something i might regret later.... Anyway, be encouraged, we're all in this together!!