• Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.

Tempted to be bitter..

Aug 11, 2010
8
1
✟15,133.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
I just want you all to know that I love the Lord and I sincerally believe that He died for my sins. I know that I don't want to be a selfish problem but I also know that the Lord doesn't want me to keep my emotions bottled up. I've learned quickly that my situation will produce the same results it's been having until I ask someone for advice and help instead of pushing it off as something that will either change or that I will feel different about.
My name is Ashley and I'm 17. To shorten a long story, I live with my cousin for school. She inspired me to get close to God and I got saved... but things started to change, slowly but very definately. I didn't fit in well with a couple of her friends and at this point, whenever I speak to her among her circle of friends, she's basically like a wall. Doesn't even look at me and sort of like, I didn't hear you, I'm talking with my friends. Do I even know you?
I didn't want to admit it but it hurts me deeply and I love her so much but I just want to cry while typing this but I feel like if I stay saved, I don't earn her respect and love, and my perception has changed dramatically since I got saved. It just cuts me deeply when she talked with her friends, which one of them is my friend too, when I tell her something, she finally turns to look at me and says, oh! yeah you were talking to me? I can answer your question now since blah blah blah, whatever... like it was a surprise I even breathed air in her direction.
I feel like this words are heart felt and I can see this as a pitfall in the road I just have to get this cleared up, I can't go on until it is. Someday I won't be able to go home after school and act like it never happened since were not there anymore. I won't be able to reply happily anymore when we are not amongst her friends. I'll just be bitter and depressed and I want your advice before I burst. Please help me.
 

oi_antz

Opposed to Untruth.
Apr 26, 2010
5,696
277
New Zealand
✟7,997.00
Gender
Male
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
I just want you all to know that I love the Lord and I sincerally believe that He died for my sins. I know that I don't want to be a selfish problem but I also know that the Lord doesn't want me to keep my emotions bottled up. I've learned quickly that my situation will produce the same results it's been having until I ask someone for advice and help instead of pushing it off as something that will either change or that I will feel different about.
My name is Ashley and I'm 17. To shorten a long story, I live with my cousin for school. She inspired me to get close to God and I got saved... but things started to change, slowly but very definately. I didn't fit in well with a couple of her friends and at this point, whenever I speak to her among her circle of friends, she's basically like a wall. Doesn't even look at me and sort of like, I didn't hear you, I'm talking with my friends. Do I even know you?
I didn't want to admit it but it hurts me deeply and I love her so much but I just want to cry while typing this but I feel like if I stay saved, I don't earn her respect and love, and my perception has changed dramatically since I got saved. It just cuts me deeply when she talked with her friends, which one of them is my friend too, when I tell her something, she finally turns to look at me and says, oh! yeah you were talking to me? I can answer your question now since blah blah blah, whatever... like it was a surprise I even breathed air in her direction.
I feel like this words are heart felt and I can see this as a pitfall in the road I just have to get this cleared up, I can't go on until it is. Someday I won't be able to go home after school and act like it never happened since were not there anymore. I won't be able to reply happily anymore when we are not amongst her friends. I'll just be bitter and depressed and I want your advice before I burst. Please help me.

You know, it is most difficult to see a situation from another person's point of view, with the uniqueness of the various understandings we each have, it is very difficult for you to see it from her point of view and same for her to see it from yours. One of the ideas I keep close to heart is that if we each swapped lives we would probably turn out exactly the same. So whatever it is that bothers your cousin about you is just a misunderstanding because she can only see it from her point of view. A true Christian is one who gives everything to help another, and perhaps it is a case that she needs to be reminded of the commandment Jesus gave: to love each other as He loved us. Maybe if you confront your cousin directly and seek to understand why she behaves like this, she could realise something she never thought about before. Usually given a choice between good and bad, we will choose the good because we like goodness. Anyhow, you have a lot to discover about the way your cousin thinks, I do believe it is best to confront it, it could be a gradual process of just dropping hints here and there until it comes out. You have the right hand if someone is committing sin, but it could be something as innocent as a personality conflict. You definitely do have to get to the root of the problem before your bottled-up emotions explode.
 
Upvote 0

razeontherock

Well-Known Member
May 24, 2010
26,546
1,480
WI
✟35,597.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Yes, these are the sorts of things that help us to "work out that which G-d put in us." Note that the rest of that line says "with fear and trembling." (Philippians 2:12)

Another good one to apply here is

"Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted. Gal 6:2 Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ."

Meekness here would be meaning to be sure to obey G-d rather than buckle under fear of man - or in this case cousin. (LOL) This is the way to escape the typical power struggle of selfishly vindicating ourselves, at another's expense.

I'll also point out that as a Christian you are suddenly thrown into a whole new realm, where you have 3 enemies to fight against: your own flesh, the world, and the devil. Please note that your cousin is not ANY of these! And she is also influenced by these same things, and may not be any better at combating them than you are. In this case it's mainly the world you're up against; peer pressure.

You also have an occasion to learn to walk not by sight but by Faith. In this case "sight" could refer to the fact that our own emotions can be relied upon only for one thing: they ARE going to change! Faith, allowing us to "see" (or perceive) what's going on Spiritually will grant you access to G-d's saving Grace - as long as you're aware of it.

So wow, that's a lot of really heavy stuff I just pointed out is ALL involved in a seemingly simple situation; and I'm sure there's lots more I'm missing. So rejoice that G-d provides for forgiveness! We all sure need it, and that goes for your cousin too. When she's being difficult remember Christ died for her, and that in loving her you ARE loving Him. Sometimes that's all we have to go on, but you know what? Love conquers all.
 
Upvote 0
Nov 16, 2014
1,226
9
36
California
✟24,706.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Private
I just want you all to know that I love the Lord and I sincerally believe that He died for my sins. I know that I don't want to be a selfish problem but I also know that the Lord doesn't want me to keep my emotions bottled up. I've learned quickly that my situation will produce the same results it's been having until I ask someone for advice and help instead of pushing it off as something that will either change or that I will feel different about.
My name is Ashley and I'm 17. To shorten a long story, I live with my cousin for school. She inspired me to get close to God and I got saved... but things started to change, slowly but very definately. I didn't fit in well with a couple of her friends and at this point, whenever I speak to her among her circle of friends, she's basically like a wall. Doesn't even look at me and sort of like, I didn't hear you, I'm talking with my friends. Do I even know you?
I didn't want to admit it but it hurts me deeply and I love her so much but I just want to cry while typing this but I feel like if I stay saved, I don't earn her respect and love, and my perception has changed dramatically since I got saved. It just cuts me deeply when she talked with her friends, which one of them is my friend too, when I tell her something, she finally turns to look at me and says, oh! yeah you were talking to me? I can answer your question now since blah blah blah, whatever... like it was a surprise I even breathed air in her direction.
I feel like this words are heart felt and I can see this as a pitfall in the road I just have to get this cleared up, I can't go on until it is. Someday I won't be able to go home after school and act like it never happened since were not there anymore. I won't be able to reply happily anymore when we are not amongst her friends. I'll just be bitter and depressed and I want your advice before I burst. Please help me.

maybe thats just GOD saying branch out(meet someone new, I will guide you)

its acceptance that you are in search of amongst her while in communion with her friends, give it time you will find your place, most importantly listen to GOD in all things
 
Upvote 0

jannikitty

wise ole owl
Nov 22, 2011
3,390
684
Pacific NW.
✟35,748.00
Country
United States
Gender
Female
Faith
Pentecostal
Marital Status
Widowed
Politics
US-Others
Reading this my heart goes out to you. Sounds like they are not really what you could call good friends or else simply picky sometimes friends. Jesus's friends for the most part, even the closer ones, like Peter, turned away or acted like they didn't know him when he was arrested and went to the cross. His heart goes out to you.

Sometimes after people get saved the enemy of our soul will use others and most of the time they aren't really all that aware of it to discourage you.

Don't let him do it. You are a child of God and loved by the King of Kings. And that means -- the most important love and acceptance any of us will ever get. You will in time also find better friends if you pray and trust God to provide them for you. Meanwhile pray for your cousin and her friends. It's just kid stuff. She could change. Let's hope and pray she does.

peace and prayers.
 
Upvote 0
Jun 14, 2009
1,195
188
✟14,916.00
Faith
Pentecostal
Marital Status
Married
Romans 15:13, Psalm 121:7, Psalm 46:1, Psalm 62, Psalm 68:19, Psalm 147:3, 2 Corinthians 1:3-11, 4:16-18, 7:6, 12:8,9,10, Psalm 43:5, Psalm 22:24, Psalm 119:50, Psalm 34, Psalm 42:5, Psalm 86, Nahum 1:7, Job 29:3, Isaiah 25:8, 30:18,19,20, 40:1, 41:10,13,14, Psalm 69, Psalm 13, Psalm 94:19, Lamentations 3:1-66
 
Upvote 0

Emmy

Senior Veteran
Feb 15, 2004
10,200
940
✟66,005.00
Faith
Salvation Army
Dear musiczealot. In Matthew 22: 35-40: Jesus gives us good advice.
Jesus said: " The first and great Commandment is: " Love God with all thy heart, with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. The second is like it: love thy neighbour as thyself." Jesus also points out this great truth: " On these two Commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets." God is Love, and God wants our love freely given and NO conditions tagged on. When bitterness rears its ugly head, kill it with love. A Christian`s strong weapon is Love, with love we can overcome all anger and wrong behaviour. Love is also very catching. In Matthew 7: 7-10: we are told: " ask and you shall receive," we ask for Love and Joy, then thank God and share all Love and Joy with our neighbour: all we know and all we meet, friends and not friends. We keep asking for Love and Joy, then thanking God and sharing all Love and Joy with
our neighbour. We might stumble and forget at times, but then we ask God to forgive us, and carry on loving and caring.
The Bible tells us: " Repent and be Born Again," we give up our selfish wishes and wants, and carry on loving and caring. God will see our loving efforts,
and God will approve and bless us. The Holy Spirit will help and guide us, and Jesus our Saviour will lead us all the way: JESUS IS THE WAY. To love and care might not come easy to us at first, but Love is catching, and soon we will
find that we are changing, that we slowly become more loving and caring.
It is what God wants from us, musiczealot. You will find that life is enjoyable,
no need for bitterness ever. I say this with love. Greetings from Emmy, your sister in Christ.
 
Upvote 0