Telling people

[gracefaith]

Did/Do you tell people that you are trying to concieve? I was thinking about this the other day because it seems like doing so is also a way of saying that you are having LOTS of unprotected sex. I really don't want to make a point of telling people that my husband and I are having lots of sex.

 

[PegasusOnFire]

I have told people at church and my family and close friends.

BTW once you get married, it is pretty much assumed that you are haveing lots of sex.

 

[Singin4Him]

BTW once you get married, it is pretty much assumed that you are haveing lots of sex.

This is true!

My husband and I told family and a couple close friends. There was a couple in our circle of friends who would tend to do things just because we did, we didn't want that which is why we tried to keep it pretty secret. Sounds silly but we didn't need that "competition", it was stressful enough at times.

Occasionally I regretted telling our parents because they were constantly asking how it was going which put a lot of pressure on us at times.

 

[gracefaith]

I have told people at church and my family and close friends.

BTW once you get married, it is pretty much assumed that you are haveing lots of sex.

LOL Yeah, but there's a difference between knowing that married people have sex in general and having a specific couple say, "Man, we've really been going through condom boxes lately!" It's a specific reminder that they're having lots of sex.

I guess I'm just being paranoid. I don't mind telling my close family and friends, but it still seems odd.

 

[Green Orchid]

We've told a few of our close friends and that's it - under 10 people for sure. I'm especially not telling my family because my mom would be all over me with "So, is it working?!?" and I definitely have no interest in discussing my sex/TTC life with my parents!

 

[Beth1231]

I always felt uncomfortable with the idea of telling people. And then I started getting super excited. I have told about a sozen and half people.

 

[Flipper]

When we got married, we got a lot of pressure from his side of the family to start having kids right away. At the time, I was still in school, and I knew I wanted to switch jobs and get settled in a new job first. It got so bad that on my 30th birthday, my SIL gave me literature about infertility after 30, and the chances of having a Downs baby going up (like she should talk, she had my nephew at 26 and he has Downs). My husband had to talk to them and tell them that if they want any relationship with me they better back off. This wasn't just my decision to wait, it was ours - he completely agreed.

This was also about the time we were going to start trying, and it's when we found out that he wasn't producing sperm, which is something he probably had his entire life, nothing to do with age. His parents were the first people we told about the problems. They backed off for awhile.

Now, they tell us about every teenage mother-to-be in the county, or every problem mom-to-be they know of (that they think of being a problem) thinking we can just step in and adopt. Adoption doesn't quite work that way.

My mom would bring it up, but nothing like the pressure we've gotten from his folks.

So, just about everyone close to us knows we are TTC, except his parents and sister. We told them we aren't having any kids. We thought we'd finally tell them when I'm pregnant enough to show, maybe from the delivery room if we're lucky.

 

[Flipper]

BTW once you get married, it is pretty much assumed that you are haveing lots of sex.

When we didn't get pregnant right away, my in-laws offered to buy us an instruction book.

 

[PegasusOnFire]

When we didn't get pregnant right away, my in-laws offered to buy us an instruction book.

Oh no:o , LOL. though it sounds like something my parents would have done, if we hadn't had the m/c.

 

[Flipper]

Oh no:o , LOL. though it sounds like something my parents would have done, if we hadn't had the m/c.

Actually, they had been joking about giving us that even before we got married - it just got bad after a few years.

You've met Adam - he seems more at home taking computers and/or any other electronic device he finds apart and putting them back together for the heck of it, than in being romantic in general, much to less being married.

Hmmmm I wonder what is worse - our parents thinking we are doing it all the time, or not doing it at all?