Telling it like it is

[geekgirlkelli]

Some people think it's OK and within their right to say whatever they wish to because "they're just being blunt and honest."

Is it OK to simply blurt out things like "You're fat and ugly" or "You may think you're a pretty woman but I think you look like a guy" or is this something generally not socially acceptable?

When is stating such things the right thing to do and when is it not?

 

[cantata]

I think it's inappropriate, especially if the reason it's being said is to enjoy the other person's discomfort (which it usually is).

 

[Bombila]

Of course it's not okay to say things which are likely to be hurtful. Most normal people don't, and people who do are usually socially backward by reason of mental aberration or are bullies.

 

[Braunwyn]

I agree with the above posts. It's a matter of intent, and I can't think of a case where insulting someone's looks is anything but ill-intent.

 

[moonkitty]

I think it's inappropriate, especially if the reason it's being said is to enjoy the other person's discomfort (which it usually is).

I think most people over use the "I'm just telling it like it is" for this reason. They think that if they are pretending to be honest they can be as cruel as they like and no one can fault them, because hey, they are being honest. And things like beauty is really subjective. What on person finds lovely another will think is ugly.


But I do believe there are times when one does have to be blunt, such as with alcoholics and other types of intervention. If it is done to truly help someone from hurting themselves then I can see the need for bluntness.

 

[HumbleServant94]

Some people think it's OK and within their right to say whatever they wish to because "they're just being blunt and honest."

Is it OK to simply blurt out things like "You're fat and ugly" or "You may think you're a pretty woman but I think you look like a guy" or is this something generally not socially acceptable?

When is stating such things the right thing to do and when is it not?

Nope it's not okay. I have had people do this to me my entire life. It really sucks. Sometimes they would physically hurt me as well. Even my supposed friend is doing this. But I always forgive him. Although it's wrong, people who do this are usually just trying to make themselves look bigger by doing this. These bullies are actually pretty insecure.

 

[Beanieboy]

Some people think it's OK and within their right to say whatever they wish to because "they're just being blunt and honest."

Is it OK to simply blurt out things like "You're fat and ugly" or "You may think you're a pretty woman but I think you look like a guy" or is this something generally not socially acceptable?

When is stating such things the right thing to do and when is it not?

It's ok until you are about 5.

 

[Beanieboy]

Someone once said something that was very helpful to me: People that criticize others are saying less about the person than they are about themselves.

When people focus a lot of their attention on the sin of others, they are able to pull focus off of themselves.

I understand that Christians believe that only Christians go to heaven, and everyone else ends up in hell, so it makes sense that they approach nonChristians in a way that suggests being saved, or in walking with Christ and being filled with joy. However, to "TILIS" often comes off like, "I"m going to heaven and you're not. Neener neener neener!" Why would someone who serves Christ rejoice at the loss of souls?

Why would someone tell others about Limited Atonement, which suggests in predestination of the saved, (which ALWAYS includes the person claiming it), and implying that everyone else does not? To ensure that those who think they are going to heaven doubt? To take away hope from others? And this is the "good news" of Jesus? That the bearer of the news is going to heaven and here to proclaim that everyone else in the vecinity probably won't?

Growing up, it was really hard to hear Christians claim that God was disgusted by homosexuals, hated homosexuals, because I believed it, and doubted God. What the person claiming such a thing had the gall to say was that God doesn't love everyone, that God's love is limited, that some things can sever you from the love of God, when none of that is true. I have seen people kill themselves over these kind of lies, but to draw a conclusion to Tell It Like It Is, such people are the ones that hate homosexuals, and i John 4:7-8 says that he who does not love does not know God.

 

[TheBear]

It's ok until you are about 5.

I was thinking along the same lines.

Children are the most brutally blunt. But as they grow up, they are exposed to how to live in society, and they learn manners, politeness and respect for others........usually.

 

[Verv]

Some people think it's OK and within their right to say whatever they wish to because "they're just being blunt and honest."

Is it OK to simply blurt out things like "You're fat and ugly" or "You may think you're a pretty woman but I think you look like a guy" or is this something generally not socially acceptable?

When is stating such things the right thing to do and when is it not?

It really isn't that great. It's rude and crude and uncalled for.

It's technically never acceptable but sometimes you just let it come out and it is more acceptable in situations where the other person was escalating it or perhaps if the other person was truly annoying.

 

[HumbleServant94]

Someone once said something that was very helpful to me: People that criticize others are saying less about the person than they are about themselves.

When people focus a lot of their attention on the sin of others, they are able to pull focus off of themselves.

I understand that Christians believe that only Christians go to heaven, and everyone else ends up in hell, so it makes sense that they approach nonChristians in a way that suggests being saved, or in walking with Christ and being filled with joy. However, to "TILIS" often comes off like, "I"m going to heaven and you're not. Neener neener neener!" Why would someone who serves Christ rejoice at the loss of souls?

Why would someone tell others about Limited Atonement, which suggests in predestination of the saved, (which ALWAYS includes the person claiming it), and implying that everyone else does not? To ensure that those who think they are going to heaven doubt? To take away hope from others? And this is the "good news" of Jesus? That the bearer of the news is going to heaven and here to proclaim that everyone else in the vecinity probably won't?

Growing up, it was really hard to hear Christians claim that God was disgusted by homosexuals, hated homosexuals, because I believed it, and doubted God. What the person claiming such a thing had the gall to say was that God doesn't love everyone, that God's love is limited, that some things can sever you from the love of God, when none of that is true. I have seen people kill themselves over these kind of lies, but to draw a conclusion to Tell It Like It Is, such people are the ones that hate homosexuals, and i John 4:7-8 says that he who does not love does not know God.

True Christians never rejoice at the sight of lost souls. A true Christian should care about where they are going and not do such things.

God loves the people. He just hates homosexuality because it's a sin. Loves the sinner, hates the sin.

 

[WatersMoon110]

I think that some people are more able (or more willing) to "censor" their thoughts before they come out of their mouths. Some people are not, or do not. I agree with many other posters that many people seem to do this to focus attention of their own sins, their self-perceived flaws.

I have a relative who is very unsure of themself, but seems to cover up for it by saying some cruel things to other people. It's annoying, but not something that I have power over changing. In my experience it is best to just try not to let it get to me. I think that, as Christians, to turn the other cheek.

And I find that, often, it is in the very area that one chooses to pick on others for, that one is troubled with themself. Like people who make fun of others for how they look or dress often seem to be inwardly very insecure.

 

[Beanieboy]

I agree. That is why those who are far more pleasant, are tactful in the way they offer criticism, and who focus on the positive points of others, are coming from a place of love. They celebrate differences, rather than fear them. They rejoice with the accomplishments of others, rather than envy them. They encourage, they offer hope, and inspire, and that is why people are drawn to them. That is why, I believe, people were drawn to Jesus, and not to the Pharisees. He showed them why he loved them, and in return, they because that new creation.

I don't understand those who are ambidestrious, but I admire it. I don't understand perfect pitch, but it's freakishly amazing. It gives hope, that we are not limited to our bodies, to the limits that we put upon ourselves. Most often, I think this is accomplished in song, when voices seem to transcend our human limitations, sending goosebumps down our spine.

 

[Beanieboy]

I was just thinking about the movie "Kinsey." When he was interviewing people, they kept revealing things about themselves sexually, and adding, "Is that normal?"

I think when ever anyone simply states something that threatens "normal", such as, I feel like I am a male spirit in a female body, it makes people question if that is possible, if our spirit can feel like one gender or another apart from our body, what does "masculine mean", etc. It is threatening for the person that prides themselves or relies so heavily on the security that they are not different, that they are exactly the same as others. It also makes one question why one should try to be just like everyone else, a carbon copy, following like a sheep, rather than be who they really are.

One psychological theorist said that if people shared with one another the thing that they fear the most, the thing that makes them different, they would probably move people in profound ways. I think that is probably true.

 

[geekgirlkelli]

Funny, a certain member who is well known for making it a point to mock me in the name of "being blunt" hasn't touched this thread.

 

[WatersMoon110]

Funny, a certain [...] member here who [is known for]"being blunt" hasn't touched this thread.

It's difficult for people to face their own faults. Especially when a given person likes to "shore up" their own self-esteem by insulting others. Far easier to poke fun at other people's faults than to admit to one's own.

I feel sort of bad for many people who are "too blunt". It has to be hard to make and keep friends when one is unwilling, or unable, to refrain from saying whatever nasty comment pops into one's mind.

I don't understand it - I try to be a diplomatic person because when I (unintentionally) hurt another person, it makes me feel bad. Perhaps people who do so intentionally do feel bad on the inside but don't show it?

 

[HumbleServant94]

Funny, a certain member who is well known for making it a point to mock me in the name of "being blunt" hasn't touched this thread.

Who's that?

 

[geekgirlkelli]

Who's that?

Read through some threads and you'll figure it out. Some of them were closed. And pay attention to avatars and status text, keeping in mind what my own av was and what my status text said until today.