Tell Your Story

[HeKnowsMyName]

I see some names over and over here and in the singles forum but I don't know much about you peeps. Let's give a condensed version of ourselves here. Edit as you need to.

HeKnowsMyName:

39 year old mother of an 11 year old girl and 5 year old boy. Separated for 1 year come this Sunday. Divorce is expected to be final this Tuesday. I have been through a LONG battle to get this divorce. Ex is possibly bi-polar but will seek no help, cheated, lied, tom-catted around for most of our married years. Emotinally abusive. Married 17 years.

 

[gratefulgrace]

My husband is still at home recovering from a hip replacement but says he doesn't love me anymore after 61 yrs or he does but just as a friend but he is not very friendly. He want to be alone. Which I know isn't really it. He just wants to be away from me as he is the most social person I know. Both he and I have been Christians for years. He never was comfortable being the spiritual leader of our home and stopped reading his Bible as far as I can tell ages and ages ago. I have been criticized for reading my bible too much. He boasts about how he has friends and I have none and that he is sharing his faith. I am not sure that is true but he is well liked by his unsaved friends. So is it because he genuinely shines the love of Christ to them or just go along with their way of thinking. Hard to say. He is emotionally cold and puts me down a lot something he did often before he got saved. I think he has back slidden and is going willfully in the wrong direction. I am powerless to force him to stay as one's will is so strong. I need prayer support for our marriage to be restored physically emotionally and spiritually. Thanks for listening. gg

 

[BlueJay83]

Married for 7 years and over the last 4 years I've become increasingly aware she isn't 100% faithful. We have three sons 3, 5 and 7 years old.
Recently she had a Psychotic "break" and spent months in a Psychiatric hospital, and is diagnosed BiPolar.
She's been saying for years she felt forced to marry me, doesn't want to be with me, doesn't love me... and has walked in and out several times. I've effectivley been a single parent for the last year as she is more interested in her social calendar than creating a home for us.
We are now separated, shes ;ovng with her mother, but we are working on ourselves and hopefully we can reconcile and things be better. This really is the "last shot" after many difficult years. I love her but we simply don't work as a team well.

Praying hard for Gods will to be done and to make the right decision.

 

[dorig59]

I am married again, but anyway my previous marriage, I was married for 22 years, truly everything was great, we were Christians, homeschooled, always in church and Bible studies, always had great fellowship with great friends. At around the 20-year point, he started changing, and to make a very long story short, he went through one of those male midlife crisis deals, very stereotypical, took two years, we ended up divorced. We are one of those couples who, when people from our past heard about it, were absolutely stunned and filled with disbelief.

Such is life.

 

[gratefulgrace]

OOPS I meant 41 years. I am 63 and he is 64 so we haven't been together since wer were toddlers.

 

[gratefulgrace]

*duplicate post

 

[gratefulgrace]

Married for 7 years and over the last 4 years I've become increasingly aware she isn't 100% faithful. We have three sons 3, 5 and 7 years old.
Recently she had a Psychotic "break" and spent months in a Psychiatric hospital, and is diagnosed BiPolar.
She's been saying for years she felt forced to marry me, doesn't want to be with me, doesn't love me... and has walked in and out several times. I've effectivley been a single parent for the last year as she is more interested in her social calendar than creating a home for us.
We're giving it one last chance, and then it will be time to move on.

Praying hard for Gods will to be done and to make the right decision.

I am married again, but anyway my previous marriage, I was married for 22 years, truly everything was great, we were Christians, homeschooled, always in church and Bible studies, always had great fellowship with great friends. At around the 20-year point, he started changing, and to make a very long story short, he went through one of those male midlife crisis deals, very stereotypical, took two years, we ended up divorced. We are one of those couples who, when people from our past heard about it, were absolutely stunned and filled with disbelief.

Such is life.

Yeah dorig this is totally how I feel too. Glad you were able to move on, at this point I do not want to give up hope.
Candleman it sounds like your wife is not being properly treated for her condition if in fact it is bi polar. We have a friend who just had a big breakdown. He is better now but on the depressed side. He was divorced when we met him but I would not be surprised if this was a mitigating factor in the split too. I am praying that you will experience God's peace as you work through this difficult circumstance. gg

 

[dorig59]

From what I've heard & read, dealing with/living with a bipolar person is extremely difficult. You have my sympathy.

And, GG, wow, I hope things work out with your husband. How foolish of him to ruin your marriage. Sure hope things work out for you.

 

[BlueJay83]

Candleman it sounds like your wife is not being properly treated for her condition if in fact it is bi polar. We have a friend who just had a big breakdown. He is better now but on the depressed side. He was divorced when we met him but I would not be surprised if this was a mitigating factor in the split too. I am praying that you will experience God's peace as you work through this difficult circumstance. gg

Thanks, both of you for your prayer and sympathy.

She gets regular Psychologist visits (free), as well as free medication. She has been thoroughly diagnosed, and her mother is also bipolar.
She however chooses not to take the medication despite the proof that they do help her.

If I try reasoning with her about the meds she will miss the point of the conversation because she is so irrational, or say I'm treating her like a kid.

Last night I found out she is still trying to initiate conversations with the guy she agreed not to contact anymore. Apparently he is her "happy place".
She doesn't realise he is WAY out of her league and with a girl who would turn heads anywhere... he hardly even responds to her messages, yet still she is in some sort of fantasy land. She's tried to tease him with references to a "maid outfit" etc. etc.

all this just 2 weeks after she made a promise to be faithful and commit to me.
I'm actually numb from all the pain she's caused... or maybe it's the 4 hours sleep I got last night.

 

[HeKnowsMyName]

OOPS I meant 41 years. I am 63 and he is 64 so we haven't been together since wer were toddlers.

I wondered exactly how old you were and was impressed that you were possibly in your 80's and using the internet.

 

[saturnnights]

She gets regular Psychologist visits (free), as well as free medication. She has been thoroughly diagnosed, and her mother is also bipolar.
She however chooses not to take the medication despite the proof that they do help her.

If I try reasoning with her about the meds she will miss the point of the conversation because she is so irrational, or say I'm treating her like a kid.

If your wife is anything like mine (also bipolar), then the reason she won't take her meds is simply because they bring her down from her mania. My wife enjoys being manic - she's energetic, happy, sociable... She's also reckless, irrational, self-destructive...
Thing is that they only know how happy being manic makes them. I've likened it to telling someone who's extremely happy that they're too happy and they have to take a pill that will make them depressed. That's what you're fighting.
When my wife would get her brain chemicals balanced, she would see the damage she had caused, but slipping into mania happens quickly for her and I rarely have time to react..

 

[mjmcmillan]

I've been divorced now for nearly two years since it was final, have to go back about a year and a half before that to get to the beginning of the end. Shortly after our first anniversary she announced that I didn't please her and that she was going to find another man.... from then on, it was re-arranging deck chairs on the Titanic.

 

[BlueJay83]

mjmcmillan >hugemanhug<

If your wife is anything like mine (also bipolar), then the reason she won't take her meds is simply because they bring her down from her mania. My wife enjoys being manic - she's energetic, happy, sociable... She's also reckless, irrational, self-destructive...
Thing is that they only know how happy being manic makes them. I've likened it to telling someone who's extremely happy that they're too happy and they have to take a pill that will make them depressed. That's what you're fighting.
When my wife would get her brain chemicals balanced, she would see the damage she had caused, but slipping into mania happens quickly for her and I rarely have time to react..

Sounds very familiar,
My wife says she feels like we are all trying to make her depressed.
When she&#8217;s slightly elevated she loves it and it also makes her very friendly & sociable.
Problem is she does not think of the consequences of anything she does and is very irresponsible, irrational, and terrible at keeping any form of routine.


My wife is deffirent almost every day, one morning she&#8217;s loving and wanting to build a life together, by that afternoon she&#8217;s saying she&#8217;s depressed and unhappy with me.

 

[gratefulgrace]

Thanks, both of you for your prayer and sympathy.

She gets regular Psychologist visits (free), as well as free medication. She has been thoroughly diagnosed, and her mother is also bipolar.
She however chooses not to take the medication despite the proof that they do help her.

If I try reasoning with her about the meds she will miss the point of the conversation because she is so irrational, or say I'm treating her like a kid.

Last night I found out she is still trying to initiate conversations with the guy she agreed not to contact anymore. Apparently he is her "happy place".
She doesn't realise he is WAY out of her league and with a girl who would turn heads anywhere... he hardly even responds to her messages, yet still she is in some sort of fantasy land. She's tried to tease him with references to a "maid outfit" etc. etc.

all this just 2 weeks after she made a promise to be faithful and commit to me.
I'm actually numb from all the pain she's caused... or maybe it's the 4 hours sleep I got last night.

This is definitely part of the high stage but she will eventually crash. When a person with manic depressive illness is high they are in their "happy place" and can get very aggressive if confronted. I fee for you, she needs to be hospilalized I am surprised if she gets counselling that it isn't suggested. I used to work in Psychiatry years ago as a nurse but we used to have involuntary committal laws that really helped in the initial stages of many psychiatric illness that impaired a persons judgement. I will pray she gets wise soon. Jan

 

[gratefulgrace]

It is amazing how many very creative people have this illness. The rising mania is wonderful my friend was super creative painting working and singing. He started to get higher and started making reallly foolish choices about drugs and alcohol. My husband could see it early on with him but I didn't so much as I wasn't with him as much. He did get better with treatment but now is very passive and in a controlling relationship. (they go off ad on)

 

[peacechild4]

I am 41 with five children.. three live at home with me.. one with their father.. one is grown up and has left home altogether.. I was married 18 years.. separated two years.. now divorced since late August..

Its a huge adjustment being alone with kids and I had to make the choice to divorce.. I wanted marriage for life but he wanted his own life and was not a believe either and was/is anti God.. I was often raising them single parent though even with him in the house.. our marriage was up/down for many years.. he had a bit of a jeckle/hyde personality... I have since read up on Narcissism and could not believe how much that was like what I went through with him.. and I read many to almost all marriages cannot survive that.. cold comfort but helps to know that it isn't all me as he says it is..

He was verbally and emotionally abusive often.. and since being out of the marriage.. cannot believe just how much of myself I have lost and how affected I was

Not to say I don't have to work on myself.. I do.. I am sorry for all your marriages breaking down.. its horrid..

 

[gratefulgrace]

Peacechild sorry to hear about your break up I do hope you feel whole and complete again soon.

 

[sk8Joyful]

My husband is still at home
recovering from a hip replacement but says he doesn't love me anymore after 61 yrs
or he does but just as a friend but he is not very friendly. He just wants to be away from me.
He is emotionally cold and puts me down a lot, something he did often before he got saved.

I need prayer support for our marriage to be restored physically emotionally and spiritually. Thanks for listening. gg

I had no! :o idea. Sorry to hear that Jan. Wow!

 

[gratefulgrace]

Yeah I meant to say 41 years but either way it is a huge schock and let down. I am reeling. God is may anchor and I trust in Him but it still isn't easy. This afternoon was especially difficult. BTW sk8tjoyful he moved out Friday. Prayers for both of us would be appreciated. He only brought ou[f the idea in July and later in july I though we were on the road to getting help.

 

[BlueJay83]

Yeah I meant to say 41 years but either way it is a huge schock and let down. I am reeling. God is may anchor and I trust in Him but it still isn't easy. This afternoon was especially difficult. BTW sk8tjoyful he moved out Friday. Prayers for both of us would be appreciated. He only brought ou[f the idea in July and later in july I though we were on the road to getting help.

that's so sad.
I'm so sorry to hear that.
I'm praying for you.