Telemarketers
I hate the calls in the evening, you know, when you’re relaxing or eating dinner, when the phone rings. “Hello, sir. I want to talk to you about…..”
I guess I should say that I’m not against all telemarketers. The ones that call for legitimate donations for legitimate organizations, I will do what I can to help.
But the people that call to sell things, well I can do without them. If I need (or want) something, chances are I have it, or I will get it. Or how about the ones calling to “…help reduce the interest on your credit cards.” And spring time…. I can always tell when I should get the lawn mower ready for cutting the grass when I get the call for the vinyl siding.
So, over the years, I have developed ways to deal with these calls. Most of them are very sarcastic, some of them…. Well, manners won’t allow me to say what I want to say.
Here are my top suggestions for dealing with telemarketers. Feel free to use them, but remember, the ones calling for donations should at least be considered.
When the telemarketer says:
“I’d like to talk to you about vinyl siding for your home…..”
Let them go on with their sales pitch, and then when they ask to set up an appointment, say, “Let me ask you a question. Would you put vinyl siding over red brick?” Most of the time they say, “No.” Then you say, “Neither would I. God Bless.” And hang up the phone.
When the telemarketer says:
I would like to show you a way to reduce the interest you pay on your credit cards.” I always say, “You can do better than zero?” Causing them confusion, they always ask, “How can you have zero interest on your credit cards?” I say, “Simple, I pay the balance in full when I get the bill. That way I never have any interest to pay.”
When the telemarketer, who is one that will not let me get a word in edge wise, says:
“Now, I would like to have your birth date, please.”
I say,:
“Why, don’t you like yours?”
When the telemarketer says:
“Could you give me your mailing address?”
I say:
“No, but you can buy it if you want.”
If the telemarketer says:
“I need to ask you your age.”
I give them my age…. In weeks. For example, the week of my 42nd birthday, I was 2,184. That ALWAYS causes them to go quiet for a few seconds. I actually had one of them come back with, “Well, for someone as old as you are, you sound like you’re in great shape!”
When the phone rings and I answer to hear the message, “Your call is very important to us. Please wait for the next available customer representative to help you.”
I always put a tape a I made in the stereo and set the phone next to the speaker. The tape says, “I know my call is important to you, but my time is more important to me. When I feel like it, I will pick up the phone. If you are still there, then we can talk. If not, then thank you for wasting my time.” And then there’s music that plays.
When the telemarketer says:
“Would you be interested in are lawn care service?”
I say, “Sure, I’d be interested. What was it you do again?” and I let them go through the whole sales pitch again. Do that three or four times, then say, “Oh, I’m sorry. I misunderstood you. No, I’m not interested.” And hang up.
Well, that’s it for the most part. God Bless, and use them with caution. Let me know what you think, and if they work for you.
Mav.
I hate the calls in the evening, you know, when you’re relaxing or eating dinner, when the phone rings. “Hello, sir. I want to talk to you about…..”
I guess I should say that I’m not against all telemarketers. The ones that call for legitimate donations for legitimate organizations, I will do what I can to help.
But the people that call to sell things, well I can do without them. If I need (or want) something, chances are I have it, or I will get it. Or how about the ones calling to “…help reduce the interest on your credit cards.” And spring time…. I can always tell when I should get the lawn mower ready for cutting the grass when I get the call for the vinyl siding.
So, over the years, I have developed ways to deal with these calls. Most of them are very sarcastic, some of them…. Well, manners won’t allow me to say what I want to say.
Here are my top suggestions for dealing with telemarketers. Feel free to use them, but remember, the ones calling for donations should at least be considered.
When the telemarketer says:
“I’d like to talk to you about vinyl siding for your home…..”
Let them go on with their sales pitch, and then when they ask to set up an appointment, say, “Let me ask you a question. Would you put vinyl siding over red brick?” Most of the time they say, “No.” Then you say, “Neither would I. God Bless.” And hang up the phone.
When the telemarketer says:
I would like to show you a way to reduce the interest you pay on your credit cards.” I always say, “You can do better than zero?” Causing them confusion, they always ask, “How can you have zero interest on your credit cards?” I say, “Simple, I pay the balance in full when I get the bill. That way I never have any interest to pay.”
When the telemarketer, who is one that will not let me get a word in edge wise, says:
“Now, I would like to have your birth date, please.”
I say,:
“Why, don’t you like yours?”
When the telemarketer says:
“Could you give me your mailing address?”
I say:
“No, but you can buy it if you want.”
If the telemarketer says:
“I need to ask you your age.”
I give them my age…. In weeks. For example, the week of my 42nd birthday, I was 2,184. That ALWAYS causes them to go quiet for a few seconds. I actually had one of them come back with, “Well, for someone as old as you are, you sound like you’re in great shape!”
When the phone rings and I answer to hear the message, “Your call is very important to us. Please wait for the next available customer representative to help you.”
I always put a tape a I made in the stereo and set the phone next to the speaker. The tape says, “I know my call is important to you, but my time is more important to me. When I feel like it, I will pick up the phone. If you are still there, then we can talk. If not, then thank you for wasting my time.” And then there’s music that plays.
When the telemarketer says:
“Would you be interested in are lawn care service?”
I say, “Sure, I’d be interested. What was it you do again?” and I let them go through the whole sales pitch again. Do that three or four times, then say, “Oh, I’m sorry. I misunderstood you. No, I’m not interested.” And hang up.
Well, that’s it for the most part. God Bless, and use them with caution. Let me know what you think, and if they work for you.
Mav.
