teens

[wm34]

hey,
I need help! I don't know what to do, my daughter is out of control and spiraling downward, and I feel like a bad parent because of it. It's frustating because she was who got me started going to church, and if it weren't for her, I wouldn't be a christian. I did the same things she's doing now when I was her age, and yah i turned out, but I wish I wouldn't have done it. I can't get it through to her that she's headed down a dead end road, and she's already been pregnant once, and had a very bad car accident due to drinking and drug use. I don't know how to stop her, please help

 

[Blessed75]

hey,
I need help! I don't know what to do, my daughter is out of control and spiraling downward, and I feel like a bad parent because of it. It's frustating because she was who got me started going to church, and if it weren't for her, I wouldn't be a christian. I did the same things she's doing now when I was her age, and yah i turned out, but I wish I wouldn't have done it. I can't get it through to her that she's headed down a dead end road, and she's already been pregnant once, and had a very bad car accident due to drinking and drug use. I don't know how to stop her, please help

Hi there WM34. I have noticed from your other posts that you're really struggling here. I will never fully comprehend what you're going through until my children get older. I have a 16 month old little boy and a daughter due in October. I can only speak from my experience and what I have put my parents through. I came out okay. Just to list a few things: I have totaled 2 of my parent's cars. One I totally flipped over b/c I was drunk and I walked out un-scathed. Did that stop me from doing things I knew I shouldn't be doing? nope. I have done drugs, drank, had one night stands, been in jail twice for 2 DUI's. I have been in re-hab. I have been raped and one time beaten within an inch of my life. I have stolen, I have lied - basically, you name it and I've done it. Tatoos, body piercings, affairs with married men - I have put my parents through it all. I am the oldest of four children. My parents raised us all the same and we've all come out differently. They did an outstanding job raising us but I just was one of those kids who had to learn things the hard way. I was in a self-destructive mode for many years and I was a christian. God is the only one imo who saved me. Sometimes, I would even ask Him - why am I doing this? Why? I didn't understand it myself. I am not ashamed of my past. It has made me who I am today. A strong woman with a mind of her own. I am alive by the Grace of God. My mother and father tried to help me out - but I didn't want their help. I had to hit rock bottom on my own. Everyone's bottom is different. what works for one person, may not work for another. I asked my parents more than once how they "handled" those situations with me. My mother answered me in one word - prayer. She explained to me that she had to believe that everything that she had taught me growing up would eventually kick in and that I would stop and hear God. I couldn't hear anything at the time though b/c I didn't want to. I truly didn't. My parents didn't want me to go through some of the heartaches that they went through either - no parent wants that for their child. But I did and then some. I'm 28 now. Looking back I can honestly say that I have the best parents. No parent is perfect but they showered me with love, prayers etc. That's all they could. They had to let me go and it was hard for both sides. Harder for my mother. You are not a horrible mother - you are one that loves her child and wants the best for her. Continue to do what you feel in your heart is best. God will lead you and show you the way. Sometimes, the only thing my parents could do was pray. I joke now that my poor parents had rug burns on their knees from praying for me and my siblings. We have all turned out to be loving, responsible adults. Feel free to PM me anytime. My heart truly aches for you and your daughter b/c of what I've done in my past. I cannot imagine the hurt and torment that you're dealing with right now. Hang in there and know that there are people out there praying for you. I know my post may not have helped at all but I just wanted you to know that you're not the only one. You're not a bad mother. You are both going to get through this.

 

[kimber1]

hey wm34. I want you to know that I made the comment to your daughter yesterday that did she realize that she is the reason you are in church now adn to think about what a huge blessing that was. It may not have done any good other than planting that seed in her mind but...

Kids can tear us apart w/o even realizing it. I dread when mine hit the teenage years but just pray that the example I'm giving them right now will be what they need to pull them through.

Blessed is right though--prayer is sometimes all we can do. And both you adn her are in my prayers daily!!!

Don't give up on her!! Or on yourself. Lean on God!!

 

[ukok]

B75,

your post was incredible.

wm34,

I was a horrible teenager. I did a lot of bad things and I had no respect for my parents. I turned out ok eventually, but I was a nightmare child. The enduring and consistant thing in my entire life has been the love of my parents.

Years ago I realised what I had put my parents through and evber since then I have made a concerted effort to do everything I can to repay the devotion that my parents gave to me.

There is hope, there is always hope. I was a lost cause in the opinion of others, but my parents always saw the potential. Kepp on hoping and praying and maybe before too long your daughter will be able to see where she is going wrong.

 

[Beckijhn]

WM34

I'm so sorry you are going through such a hard time. My best friend is also going through it with her boys. She even had to call the police on her oldest and went to court to get some accountability for the actions he was taking.

I am totally blessed and my oldest (15) is a blessing - my pre-teens are cool too, but I wasn't. I only survived to adulthood because God was watching out for me.

I know you pray for her but you have to do what you can and then leave the rest in God's hands!

I'm praying for you too!