Target for being picked on

[Pike11]

I'm not depressed, but this is the closest topic I could find for this subject, so I apologize if this is the wrong one.

I get picked on and I don't understand why. I don't provoke it. I'm just the go to guy to get picked on with my friends. It's been like this most of my life (I'm 26). I'm just so very easy to pick on. I can take a joke, and I can laugh at myself. I have long hair and a beard, so I make jokes about being "girly". (I'm really not which is why I can joke about it) I have no problem with that. But my group of friends, my best friend is the on initiating it and everyone just kind of jumps on the band wagon. He says he does it because he loves me, and I know he does. He's my best friend and my brother in Christ. But it gets to be too much too soon. A few months ago, his wife has told him to stop without me saying anything, because she saw through my smile. A few years ago, God even convicted him about his teasing me. It's not as much telling him to stop as much as why is it I tend to be the target of being picked on. More of a curiosity than anything. What makes a person... "pickonable"?

 

[MadamImAdaminChrist]

I always thought I have been a target for being clumsy, or having little confidence. And being a little eccentric as well (but not too much). Being different is ok and I go with it, right but the lack of confidence i am working on, brother.

It is almost like a 6th sense, like animal instinct that pushes people to prey on weakness (my lack of confidence they feel, yes!). I am sorry that one of your friends participates. I am the butt of many of my friends' jokes as well. I wish I were more upfront about my discomfort with being the center of unwanted attention. Have you ever confronted him?

 

[Pike11]

I did tell him tonight. I don't think he realizes he's teasing me.

After hanging out with him and someone else last night, I dropped him off and I was angry. I should have said something then. For the first time in a long time, I was depressed and felt really unloved. I hung out with him tonight and I lashed out a bit. I was cool by the end of the night. I've been emailing him about the teasing, but I don't think he realizes what he does.

But the question remains: Why do we get picked on? I agree that I have a lack of confidence and you're right, it's like a 6th sense. I wonder if that's the common denominator?

 

[Pike11]

So, tonight he admitted that I'm easy to pick on. He heeded my asking to stop picking on me, but it's slowly starting up again. He is my best friend, and he's done so much for me. But I feel like distancing myself from him. This is hard because I go to a house church. But even then, I don't want to.

 

[MadamImAdaminChrist]

I like how you confronted him. Great job. I am glad he admitted what he admitted.
I am sorry he is still picking on you. I wish he wouldn’t. I mean, you could start giving him a hard time, but it might just escalate. Other than not putting up with much of his guff, what can you do, right?
I am hoping he will come around, but in the meantime, why not just distance yourself, even as short-term thang/gradually? Or at least find people who enjoy you--looking for them. He has been at this for so long. It is time for him to change.



If I had a secret formula or any formula on how to be more confident, I would give it to you. Who you are in Christ might be a start: who you are in your new creation.
Good luck!

 

[Pike11]

Thanks for the reply

 

[RuthD]

There is nothing wrong with you. There is something wrong with people who tease a lot. They were probably teased themselves. But it is their problem and it reflects who they are and not you. Does this make sense?