Taking our own lives should never be a sin

[Southernscotty]

My depression is a closely guarded secret i will never allow anyone near me know,

That is a lot of the problem friend. You need an accountability partner to pray with you and encourage you.

 

[Jeshu]

'Your depression is caused by your own depression'. Not a sentence i haven't heard before. All i can think about, is what a vicious cycle it is.

Dear brother it is not quite like that. i'm still struggling with depression every day. As i tried to explain in my previous post depression fuels depression.

Fact is feeling negative thoughts or believing them and going to work with them are two very different things. i feel depressive thoughts almost daily but how i respond to them that is where the difference lays.

In the past i relied on my own judgement. No could tell me different. My reality sucked and i hated myself with an intense hatred - easy enough to do major harm to myself in the form of suicide. Like i said i begged my loved ones to let me go my way - but they would allow me - they loved me, unlike i did, and didn't want me dead. honestly true i raged at them for i didn't believe that my reality would ever be better. i been rock bottom near 7 years - i was a billion times past my coping levels - all i wanted was to die.

i didn't think that i generated so much of my own negativity being so negative. i didn't see that each time i agreed with hopelessness i became more hopeless. i didn't realise that i had killed all my own youthful good life eating my depressed diet and by my depressed outlook.

i was angry at God and blamed Him, like you do as well, my prayers like yours were unanswered.

i had no faith in God's love and i had no hope!

i doubted God's love for me all the time. i thought myself cursed. i hated waking up in the morning. All i did was sit in my chair with my head down. Or i raged at God for bringing me my daily misery.

Can you see no faith in God's love means you are spiritually dead and dying and there is no hope to look forward to then more of the same.

Then God told me!

Galatians 6:7
Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.

This had been the problem. Instead of bring my depressed feelings to Jesus and asking Him to help me become stronger - i blamed Him for bringing me my bad life. i doubted His goodwill towards me. i had no faith in His love for me. i thought He hated me like i hated me.

This is where the problem lay! Only those who have faith in God see and hear God not those who have no faith in Him, they get not nothing but the reward of their own deeds.

My sins?

• i had almost killed all my inner love
• i had killed faith in God's love in me
• i had almost killed compassion for myself or others
• i had killed my child in me
• i had build my psyche with negativity and was rewarded negativity
• i had killed all hope in me for me.
• i had grown enormously stubborn
• i had grown lots of doubt in God's good life.
• i was always angry
• i blamed God for my own misery

The truth was i was completely lost to good life and on the brink of doing the worst sin i could ever do. For i was planning my suicide in secret even though my loved ones had pleaded with me not to do it but i thought they be so much better off without me. Such lies ruled my heart and mind. Such unfaithful thinking to God's love.

Like i said before i was very much like you are today.

The change? Instead of farming bad life i began to farm good life. i put my faith in God's love and dared to hope again. It sure paid off though it was a long journey where most of my depressive personality perished along the way and Jesus brought back to life the old i had lost into His New. An amazing thing but my good life came back even though depression remained my daily battle.

True it was an epic battle - because my depressive illness did not heal at first. i truly had to fight my way to the top and leave my old ways behind and learn new ways of thinking based on the truths of Scripture.

God's Word works like a charm when you have faith in God's love and good life begins to come back from day one.

Here try it for yourself and put your faith on what God says in your life.

Isaiah 61
The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
because the Lord has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,
to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the Lord
for the display of his splendor.


They will rebuild the ancient ruins
and restore the places long devastated;
they will renew the ruined cities
that have been devastated for generations.
Strangers will shepherd your flocks;
foreigners will work your fields and vineyards.
And you will be called priests of the Lord,
you will be named ministers of our God.
You will feed on the wealth of nations,
and in their riches you will boast.


Instead of your shame
you will receive a double portion,
and instead of disgrace
you will rejoice in your inheritance.
And so you will inherit a double portion in your land,
and everlasting joy will be yours.


“For I, the Lord, love justice;
I hate robbery and wrongdoing.
In my faithfulness I will reward my people
and make an everlasting covenant with them.
Their descendants will be known among the nations
and their offspring among the peoples.
All who see them will acknowledge
that they are a people the Lord has blessed.”


I delight greatly in the Lord;
my soul rejoices in my God.
For he has clothed me with garments of salvation
and arrayed me in a robe of his righteousness,
as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest,
and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.
For as the soil makes the sprout come up
and a garden causes seeds to grow,
so the Sovereign Lord will make righteousness
and praise spring up before all nations.

Get such truths into you brother, instead of those constant depressive lies you have been heeding, and see the difference for yourself.

God's word is a double edge sword it cuts both ways, so be of good courage, your bad life will perish and your good life will be resurrected. God's promise to all those who trust Him in their lives and who hate the devil and his lies and choose to serve the truth of God's love instead.

The choice is yours. More of the same or a new life?

Peace

 

[Southernscotty]