Taking our own lives should never be a sin

[Regret_Living]

I never asked to be born. I never ask for everything that happen to me, all of my anxiety, my depression, my need for pain to even feel slightly alive and functional again. I was never even given any choice on whether or not i want to be alive.

I have been a christian since i was born, and i can count more time in my life when i resented that i have been forced with this dogma since the time i could not even think for myself (just like how this existence is as well). I hate that even to this moment when i am trying to distance myself away from religion, i could never shake off that purposefully terrifying sunday school teaching about how bad hell is, and the sermons as i get older how 'wasting God's gift is a sin'. His 'gift' for me was that i get to still be able to type this while everything else in my life crumbles, and i'm supposed to be grateful for that.

I just want all of my pain to stop. I was promised that 'oh, he'll make it all better', and you know what he did. 'He' showed me sometimes these nice chances, reeled me in, make me feel like everything's okay and maybe there really is something looking out for me...

...only to then throw me back to the depth of abyss. Like a little miscreant boy who tied up a coin with a string and waited for some out of his luck man to walk by and think he can take that and buy a bread to finally feed himself, only to keep pulling the coin away while cackling at how funny the man's desperation and frustration was.

And that... that's even more cruel than just a pure rejection. To give someone a spot of hope without ever intending to actually give it.

Everything in my life so far has been out of my own control. Now i want to take it back and end it without a shadow of fear that what awaits for me afterward is not the peace i wanted but some eternal torture, as if i didn't have enough right now.

Taking your own life, just because it's some 'gift from God' should never be a sin, when you never ask for it in the first place. Not when all you're given in that life is just non ending suffering.

I still believe in god, in that i do believe one exist. Whether or not that god is as benevolent as i was always taught, it's up for debate. As of the late, he has became less of a 'ruler and father', and more of a 'petulant law maker who hates it when someone beat him at his own sick little game'.

 

[maintenance man]

I still believe in god, in that i do believe one exist. Whether or not that god is as benevolent as i was always taught, it's up for debate. As of the late, he has became less of a 'ruler and father', and more of a 'petulant law maker who hates it when someone beat him at his own sick little game'.

Put God aside for a moment.

Your are a valuable person. You have something to offer this world. Whatever it is that's telling you that your life is pointless is telling you a lie. You know you have value. You know you have something to offer this world.

Stand up to those lies and fight for the life you deserve.

 

[Regret_Living]

Your are a valuable person. You have something to offer this world. Whatever it is that's telling you that your life is pointless is telling you a lie. You know you have value. You know you have something to offer this world.

Over 200 potential employers and their rejection letters, some of my peers and though perhaps they never say it, my parents would disagree with you. And after so many heartbreaks and betrayal in my life from those i was supposed to be able to rely on, i don't even think i want to offer anything to this world.

I don't even want to be here anymore.

 

[maintenance man]

Over 200 potential employers and their rejection letters, some of my peers and though perhaps they never say it, my parents would disagree with you.

What you believe is what's important. Prove them all wrong.

 

[Regret_Living]

What you believe is what's important. Prove them all wrong.

Once upon a time, i believe i am capable of something. These days, i believe i am nothing, i am incompetent to the highest degree, as shown by just every aspect in my life. Why did you think i want to end my life so badly?

 

[maintenance man]

Once upon a time, i believe i am capable of something.

I understand your pain. I've been in a deep depression before. I know what it feels like.

That person you once knew is still in there.

You're in a deep valley right now. It's dark and difficult to see the way out. Let your capable self take over and begin climbing. In time, you will find your way back.

 

[Southernscotty]

You're not alone. Confidential help is available for free.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Call 1-800-273-8255

I posted this just in case friend. There is never a reason to end your life. Believe me I know all to well what it does to the family that is left behind. It literally destroys them.

 

[Regret_Living]

You're not alone. Confidential help is available for free.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Call 1-800-273-8255

I posted this just in case friend. There is never a reason to end your life. Believe me I know all to well what it does to the family that is left behind. It literally destroys them.

As opposed to being relieved that the burden and family black sheep is gone? No more dark cloud on every family gathering, no more elephant in the room, no more dealing with an unpleasant person out of obligation (look at my post and language, you can already tell i'm not the nicest person around and i no longer has the motivation for betterment anymore), and no more embarrassment?

I'm sorry, i found it hard to believe.

Also, i'm familiar with that line but it's only for America, my country does not have one, because here, people like me with mental illnesses are largely ostracized. One more reason to get rid of me.

I know you're trying to help and thank you, but it's not really necessary. Until i can truly dispel my fear for the unknown or some impossible miracle happen, i don't think i'll be changing my mind.

 

[Lost4words]

I never asked to be born. I never ask for everything that happen to me, all of my anxiety, my depression, my need for pain to even feel slightly alive and functional again. I was never even given any choice on whether or not i want to be alive.

I have been a christian since i was born, and i can count more time in my life when i resented that i have been forced with this dogma since the time i could not even think for myself (just like how this existence is as well). I hate that even to this moment when i am trying to distance myself away from religion, i could never shake off that purposefully terrifying sunday school teaching about how bad hell is, and the sermons as i get older how 'wasting God's gift is a sin'. His 'gift' for me was that i get to still be able to type this while everything else in my life crumbles, and i'm supposed to be grateful for that.

I just want all of my pain to stop. I was promised that 'oh, he'll make it all better', and you know what he did. 'He' showed me sometimes these nice chances, reeled me in, make me feel like everything's okay and maybe there really is something looking out for me...

...only to then throw me back to the depth of abyss. Like a little miscreant boy who tied up a coin with a string and waited for some out of his luck man to walk by and think he can take that and buy a bread to finally feed himself, only to keep pulling the coin away while cackling at how funny the man's desperation and frustration was.

And that... that's even more cruel than just a pure rejection. To give someone a spot of hope without ever intending to actually give it.

Everything in my life so far has been out of my own control. Now i want to take it back and end it without a shadow of fear that what awaits for me afterward is not the peace i wanted but some eternal torture, as if i didn't have enough right now.

Taking your own life, just because it's some 'gift from God' should never be a sin, when you never ask for it in the first place. Not when all you're given in that life is just non ending suffering.

I still believe in god, in that i do believe one exist. Whether or not that god is as benevolent as i was always taught, it's up for debate. As of the late, he has became less of a 'ruler and father', and more of a 'petulant law maker who hates it when someone beat him at his own sick little game'.

You are very much not alone my friend. I have suffered anxiety / depression for approx 20 years.

Life has been a massive roller coaster of emotions etc. More bad times than good.

Yet, i love God MASSIVELY. I cannot blame God for anything 'bad' in my life. I am prepared to carry my cross/s in love of Him.

None of us chose to be born. But, God gave us life, a soul, for a reason! Why? Because He loves us dearly. We have to accept the cards we are dealt in life and move through the pain with God in our hearts, souls and minds. However difficult it gets.

I myself have contiplated ending it all thousands of times! But, i wont. I wont let the devil win! Yes, he may win many battles in my mind and body, but, he aint going to win the war! NO WAY!

I love God so much.

 

[Southernscotty]

As opposed to being relieved that the burden and family black sheep is gone? No more dark cloud on every family gathering, no more elephant in the room, no more dealing with an unpleasant person out of obligation (look at my post and language, you can already tell i'm not the nicest person around and i no longer has the motivation for betterment anymore), and no more embarrassment?

I'm sorry, i found it hard to believe.

Also, i'm familiar with that line but it's only for America, my country does not have one, because here, people like me with mental illnesses are largely ostracized. One more reason to get rid of me.

I know you're trying to help and thank you, but it's not really necessary. Until i can truly dispel my fear for the unknown or some impossible miracle happen, i don't think i'll be changing my mind.

I can promise you that you are not a mistake and that God made you unique and special. The Word, as I am sure you know says we are made in the image and likeness of God and that is an awesome thing because everything He does is righteous.
So ok you have a mental disorder? So does many many others and sometimes life is a pain in the rear I agree, but giving in to satan's lies and deception about God sure doesn't help any friend.
You ARE here for a purpose, I suggest you start looking for the reason and perhaps you can help someone else along the way? Perhaps that is why you are here?
You see friend, We humans are full of pride and sometimes we forget that God made us to glorify Him, Not ourselves.

 

[Regret_Living]

You are very much not alone my friend. I have suffered anxiety / depression for approx 20 years.

Life has been a massive roller coaster of emotions etc. More bad times than good.

Yet, i love God MASSIVELY. I cannot blame God for anything 'bad' in my life. I am prepared to carry my cross/s in love of Him.

None of us chose to be born. But, God gave us life, a soul, for a reason! Why? Because He loves us dearly. We have to accept the cards we are dealt in life and move through the pain with God in our hearts, souls and minds. However difficult it gets.

I myself have contiplated ending it all thousands of times! But, i wont. I wont let the devil win! Yes, he may win many battles in my mind and body, but, he aint going to win the war! NO WAY!

I love God so much.

First off, sorry to hear you're dealing with that for so long, and as someone who goes through the same, i truly wish you well.

But second, that's... that's just dumb. I have to praise god for everything good in my life but i cannot blame him when things goes bad? That's quite a bull, is it not? He can't have just one, and not get the blame for others. When someone is angry how things turns out, the person who kept claiming to be almighty don't get to promise 'i'll help' and does nothing, and then say he is blameless, deity or otherwise.

My life is not someone's love, my life is a torture. If this is the depiction of love they can take that love a continent away from me. I'm dealing with life, sure, but i'm doing it out of obligation and not from my own will. If it's up to me, i want nothing to do with anything anymore.

 

[Lost4words]

First off, sorry to hear you're dealing with that for so long, and as someone who goes through the same, i truly wish you well.

But second, that's... that's just dumb. I have to praise god for everything good in my life but i cannot blame him when things goes bad? That's quite a bull, is it not? He can't have just one, and not get the blame for others. When someone is angry how things turns out, the person who kept claiming to be almighty don't get to promise 'i'll help' and does nothing, and then say he is blameless, deity or otherwise.

My life is not someone's love, my life is a torture. If this is the depiction of love they can take that love a continent away from me. I'm dealing with life, sure, but i'm doing it out of obligation and not from my own will. If it's up to me, i want nothing to do with anything anymore.

God cannot be blamed for any issues you are suffering. Remember, the devil rules the earth! He wants everyone to hate God. To blame God.

No, i wont blame God.

I have lost my parents, twin brother, aunts, uncles, friends. I would never blame God.

Through VERY tough times, i still praise God. Ok, i may ask God for help. I may ask him why i am not getting any but, i know He loves me. I know that Jesus is helping me carry my cross.

I offer up all my sufferings to God.

I always say, let God's will be done.

 

[Regret_Living]

I can promise you that you are not a mistake and that God made you unique and special. The Word, as I am sure you know says we are made in the image and likeness of God and that is an awesome thing because everything He does is righteous.
So ok you have a mental disorder? So does many many others and sometimes life is a pain in the rear I agree, but giving in to satan's lies and deception about God sure doesn't help any friend.
You ARE here for a purpose, I suggest you start looking for the reason and perhaps you can help someone else along the way? Perhaps that is why you are here?
You see friend, We humans are full of pride and sometimes we forget that God made us to glorify Him, Not ourselves.

The thing about 'special' is that if everyone is, nobody is. That may seem like an overquoted line, but that is the truth. Is there not 7 billion people in the world? Sure, god knows each of the people he created individually, he's omnipotent and whatnot, but does he truly care?

I like to hear that my depression and suicidal tendencies are righteous and awesome. Make me feel less sinful and a heretic like i was once called.

And i especially love how every single time, no matter where i am, the very moment i talk about my suffering in my mental illness, it is simply inevitable that someone will say 'you're not the only one suffering, many people do too', okay, when did i say they don't though and what purpose is it to say this? If anything the fact is this world is enough of a torture that there are millions of people desperate to get out of it probably only serves to make me braver because look, there are others who made it! Being put in this place and having to endure this trial i never asked for is kindness. Ok. I don't get that, or ever will, but ok.

The reason why i'm still alive is because i'm a coward. Reason to live? I don't even want to look for it, i want a reason to end it all. Even if i scour the bible, all i'll get is various rendition of 'it's your own fault for being weak' and 'don't worry trust this person who promised everything and give nothing'.

And thank you for telling a depressed person that my purpose is to glorify the being that made me depressed in the first place. I'm not being facetious either, it's a fact that i have long since accept. In the end, you have one purpose, and that's to make something else happy in the cost of your own happiness, never mind that you never ask for any of this, you don't have any stake on it, and again, you never ask for ANY OF THIS.

I hate this belief i've been forcefed since i was young. If it didn't, it wouldn't be this hard for me to end it all. And before anyone say this is not 'kindness', this is like a child torturing a hapless animal and caring for it only because it did not wish for the animal to die anytime soon.

 

[Regret_Living]

God cannot be blamed for any issues you are suffering. Remember, the devil rules the earth! He wants everyone to hate God. To blame God.

No, i wont blame God.

I have lost my parents, twin brother, aunts, uncles, friends. I would never blame God.

Through VERY tough times, i still praise God. Ok, i may ask God for help. I may ask him why i am not getting any but, i know He loves me. I know that Jesus is helping me carry my cross.

I offer up all my sufferings to God.

I always say, let God's will be done.

God cannot be blamed for any issues you are suffering.

How convenient. How very, very, very convenient, especially when it's been shown many many times that the devil is under his rule and fear him as well. The owner of a rabid dog that likes to hurt people is not blameless to his dog's behaviour.

And if you still have something to hold onto, then you're a better and stronger person than me, and i truly am sorry for your situation and wish you all the best. You sound like a very nice person.

As for me, i wish to take something back for myself. I'll end my own suffering.

 

[Southernscotty]

The thing about 'special' is that if everyone is, nobody is. That may seem like an overquoted line, but that is the truth. Is there not 7 billion people in the world? Sure, god knows each of the people he created individually, he's omnipotent and whatnot, but does he truly care?

I like to hear that my depression and suicidal tendencies are righteous and awesome. Make me feel less sinful and a heretic like i was once called.

And i especially love how every single time, no matter where i am, the very moment i talk about my suffering in my mental illness, it is simply inevitable that someone will say 'you're not the only one suffering, many people do too', okay, when did i say they don't though and what purpose is it to say this? If anything the fact is this world is enough of a torture that there are millions of people desperate to get out of it probably only serves to make me braver because look, there are others who made it! Being put in this place and having to endure this trial i never asked for is kindness. Ok. I don't get that, or ever will, but ok.

The reason why i'm still alive is because i'm a coward. Reason to live? I don't even want to look for it, i want a reason to end it all. Even if i scour the bible, all i'll get is various rendition of 'it's your own fault for being weak' and 'don't worry trust this person who promised everything and give nothing'.

And thank you for telling a depressed person that my purpose is to glorify the being that made me depressed in the first place. I'm not being facetious either, it's a fact that i have long since accept. In the end, you have one purpose, and that's to make something else happy in the cost of your own happiness, never mind that you never ask for any of this, you don't have any stake on it, and again, you never ask for ANY OF THIS.

I hate this belief i've been forcefed since i was young. If it didn't, it wouldn't be this hard for me to end it all. And before anyone say this is not 'kindness', this is like a child torturing a hapless animal and caring for it only because it did not wish for the animal to die anytime soon.

God is not causing you to suffer anything, he has not "made" you feel anything and the fact that you only care for yourself is a pride issue. That's a fact.
Do you not have anyone that you care for other than yourself?
God will not force anything on you friend and the simple fact is that there is blessings all over. You just have to look to see them but this requires you to take the focus off of you for a minute to see some of the blessings going on around you.

 

[Faith78]

I am sorry you are suffering so. I myself have dealt with depression, anxiety, PTSD. I can tell you this much. Feelings are real, but not always accurate. God put you here on this earth for a purpose. Just being born, it is a blessing. Life is not easy ans we go through trials, but in the end....If you really look at things in perspective, we do learn and grow. I believe we sometimes go through terrible things and we don't see the big picture right then. But one day that terrible thing you went through, could save someone's life. You have a purpose and no matter what you feel or think. God makes no mistakes, and you are Loved. Even in the times you feel you are not. YOU are Loved. I pray for you to find peace.

 

[Southernscotty]

When Parents Say It's Time to Go ‘Bye-Bye’, Toddler Insists On Hugging Every Stranger
Photo of Man Holding Baby for a Stranger While She Does Paperwork is Melting Hearts Across the Internet
://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/when-radio-station-hears-about-mom-struggling-to-care-for-sick-son-they-give-her-surprise-she-will-never-forget/

 

[Regret_Living]

God is not causing you to suffer anything, he has not "made" you feel anything and the fact that you only care for yourself is a pride issue. That's a fact.
Do you not have anyone that you care for other than yourself?
God will not force anything on you friend and the simple fact is that there is blessings all over. You just have to look to see them but this requires you to take the focus off of you for a minute to see some of the blessings going on around you.

Funny thing is, if i don't no one would. Once upon a time, i wasn't this cynical and jaded person you're typing to, i was a person who wished to be nothing but kind to others and be helpful. Various betrayals, being taken advantage of and tears later, i grew up.

Oh i never said God made me do anything, even though it's been said many times in the bible he is very capable of that ("he moved the hearts of..." in different sections and stories), but he moved enough in my life to make me this person. I am the product of what he allows to happen.

'You don't care for anyone other than yourself', funny thing is, that's not even true. I care for my sister. The sister chasing over a shadow that never existed, loving a person whose best contribution to her life is the life insurance payout if i manage to make my suicide an accident, the person i do not have anything to give to.

That is the cruelest thing i can ever do to someone. If i am gone, she'll be sad, yes, but she'll see the truth. Should i keep living for her sake, when everything in my life crumbles, then i am nothing but a phoney liar. Maybe from my death, she'll find someone better to look up to, someone who can actually take care of her and be good to her. Maybe things will truly be better through that.

I like the simple implication in your words that i have heard from literally everyone in my life, the same implication that has driven me to this semi-isolation, that everything i said, all of my suffering is my own fault. If it truly is, wouldn't it be just simpler to let me go than continuing this conversation so you won't need to care anymore? It's not like there's anything of value to be lost, just a whiny little b who refused to fight anymore.

If me wanting to commit suicide is selfish and self-centred, then wanting me to stay alive and suffer for longer because 'people close to me' will get hurt is just as selfish, no?

 

[Faith78]

That's where you are wrong. Your life is valuable. You are believing a lie that your life is not worth living. Don't be blinded by a lie. You are worth fighting for. I'm praying for you too see your worth and that the lord will overcome the Lie that your believing. The lie the devil has put into your heart and your mind. God is greater than that. Fear and feeling not good enough or feeling your worthless..all Lies that the devil wants you to believe. Lord, I pray you open up this man's heart and his eyes too see that he is meant to live and you have great things planned for his life, in Jesus mighty and precious name I pray this, Amen.

 

[Southernscotty]

Funny thing is, if i don't no one would. Once upon a time, i wasn't this cynical and jaded person you're typing to, i was a person who wished to be nothing but kind to others and be helpful. Various betrayals, being taken advantage of and tears later, i grew up.

Oh i never said God made me do anything, even though it's been said many times in the bible he is very capable of that ("he moved the hearts of..." in different sections and stories), but he moved enough in my life to make me this person. I am the product of what he allows to happen.

'You don't care for anyone other than yourself', funny thing is, that's not even true. I care for my sister. The sister chasing over a shadow that never existed, loving a person whose best contribution to her life is the life insurance payout if i manage to make my suicide an accident, the person i do not have anything to give to.

That is the cruelest thing i can ever do to someone. If i am gone, she'll be sad, yes, but she'll see the truth. Should i keep living for her sake, when everything in my life crumbles, then i am nothing but a phoney liar. Maybe from my death, she'll find someone better to look up to, someone who can actually take care of her and be good to her. Maybe things will truly be better through that.

I like the simple implication in your words that i have heard from literally everyone in my life, the same implication that has driven me to this semi-isolation, that everything i said, all of my suffering is my own fault. If it truly is, wouldn't it be just simpler to let me go than continuing this conversation so you won't need to care anymore? It's not like there's anything of value to be lost, just a whiny little b who refused to fight anymore.

If me wanting to commit suicide is selfish and self-centred, then wanting me to stay alive and suffer for longer because 'people close to me' will get hurt is just as selfish, no?

I walked into my Dads house on memorial day because he called me to come take him to get groceries. I walked in and found him on the bed, He had shot and killed himself.
I think it is the most cowardly thing a person can ever do and my father was a very large tough Marine.
But he choose to kill himself and leave me to suffer the consequences of a dysfunctional family that only cares about themselves and money. He knew what they were and what they would do to me so he left them each 5 us dollars apiece in the will.
Now I suffer from attacks from them because they hate me and the pain of having to do everything by myself because my Dad took the easy road out.
I love him so so much and yet I am so darn mad that I can't stand him.

Want your sister to feel this way Bro?