For me, before being 'born-again', and feeling all of Jesus's love, forgiveness, peace and grace that I have never experienced before, and has never left me since; I first had to self examine to see I was not 'good', and felt all the shame and guilt of my actions that caused my own pain, and the pain I have cause others from my actions which put me on my knees to Jesus in tears asking for forgiveness of sin and peace from my torment and pain, then I was saved, and has never left me since.
After being born again I continue seeing my sin, so I don't live in sin, I can see it so I can avoid it and fight against it with the power of Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit, and I still pray, ask for forgiveness, repent, and each day sins will come up from the past, I will repent from them, changing my thoughts, learning from them and just let them go to Jesus in his hands to forgive me and give me peace and rest and grow stronger against sin and denying the flesh.
I love Jesus and continue to build a relationship with him, and ever since being saved just craved to learn more and more about Jesus and know everything I could and get as close as I can to Him, while still understanding that I am a sinner and Jesus saved me, died for me and rose from the dead, and is the living God.
So taking up my cross is something often and I think about and try to do my best at, and having to come to terms of losing things, like for me, I have lost relationships and created divisions because of my faith in Jesus, because Jesus brought a sword to divide (for example: my father, friends, aunt, sister, relatives, neighbors, do not believe and even say insults and I can see they are in sin and don't care or don't think it means anything, they are in darkness, like I once was.) But I am never alone with Jesus, and never felt that much love from my own mother, and my world-father, who as far as I can remember has not even said he loves me, he is all about business and money, but I thinks he loves me, but can't say the words, which I think is weak he can't say I love you, but he probably thinks it weak if he does say it, even though I openly will say that I love family members.
Also, I have lost my Job, (not officially due to my Faith, but it just so happened that the the Friday after work, I privately preach Jesus's words on salvation for a few minutes, I got no feedback or response, and the next Monday morning I was fired for "restructuring reasons",) so I am unemployed after following Jesus, but to be honest I feel more like when God pulled Lot out of Sodom or when He got Noah out of the flood, because the company I was with like most companies in the world, do not share my values and aligns with more with world, not God.
But even though, because of my faith in Jesus, I have division or lost relationships (including own family), potentially lost my job, in major financial debt, and then on-top of that the virus, lockdowns etc.. I am still at total peace and rest with Jesus, as I put my trust in Him. I pray that things will get better, but only if it's God's will.
These words from Jesus Christ come to mind to give me strength, peace and rest when picking up my cross:
Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV)
28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”