Take some time away for a while???

[SimplyComplex]

Im not sure what I should do. This last year has been an emotional rollarcoaster for us and our marriage. He seems happy and content with the way things are going but Im not so much that way. We love eachother very very much but lately I just cant stand to be around him very long. Ive become very irritable and have experienced a little bit of depression. He either doesnt notice it or if he does he tells me Im not praying or reading the Bible enough. Which is not the case. Spiritually he has grown a lot and has been reading and praying more than ever, which I am very proud and happy about for him, but at the same time, if I ever need to talk to him about how Im feeling he turns into this holier-than-thou psycho preacher, which makes me even madder and more likely NOT to communicate with im anymore.

Neither of us believe in divorce, unless it relates to adultery, but I feel like I should take some time away from him to gather my feelings. It would be a major step for me since I would be moving out of state back to my hometown and Im not even sure if it would help any. I just know that Ive been feeling miserable and he is so blind to it all.

 

[dbhost]

I would rather strongly state that what you are proposing can do no good for your marriage. BUT, I am NOT a professional. Seek out the advice of a well qualified Christian counselor with your husband. It sounds like you have some issues between you that you are best off getting to the bottom of before it ruins your marriage... Perhaps your pastor can recommend a good counselor?

I admit I tend to have a rather jaded view of things due to my experiences, but I must say, even if you are NOT doing anything inappropriate by leaving your husband to get some air as it were, it would have the appearance to others, possibly including your husband that you were trying to get some privacy to hide things... And you should strive to avoid the appearance of evil right?

 

[SimplyComplex]

Well, Im all for counseling of course. We have gone in the past but it really didnt do much expect make my DH defensive about somethings he was doing. I told him one night that maybe we should talk to someone again. He said that we didnt need to talk to anyone. So I suggested that maybe I should go talk to someone by myself since he has no interest, he again said that I dont need to talk to anyone because I can fix things right here at home...

So I guess counseling is out of the questions for now. And I agree with you on the appearence of me leaving may not look so great to others, but Im sure it would be nothing more than just a break to clean my head. And perhaps give DH some time to think alone as well.

 

[dbhost]

Well, I am sorry he is being thick headed about counseling. Do whatever you do in God's will, and you will be fine. I will pray that you chose the right path for you and your family.

 

[Brotherfromanothermother]

Having been where you're at including the counseling thing too I understand the frustration and hopelessness.
I don't believe separation will help. I believe (from personal experience - though it may not be so in every case) that separation is trying divorce or singlehood on for size. That it somehow allows us to walk away without looking so guilty about our choices.
I admit that I resemble that stubborn husband. It is pride and ego.
I think the theme is so common because in every marriage the constant is a man and a woman. Our personalities man to man to man, have commonalities. We may act differently and make wiser decisions than others but we are similar.
I'm glad to hear the acknowledgement of a mutual love. That's a point of hope.
I pray the God of Love will speak to both of you for a mutual resolution.

 

[TealTuesday]

I could have posted this same scenario as mine is in his own created vain world. Thinks he's so handsome he can have anyone and lets me know that in detail. I feel lonely inside and have the past year as he basically ignores me. I'm not at this forum much but please email here,I have mail alert. we can support eachother maybe?
I am totally lost to how my life is going to be. they say forgive and stay together,that's not for me. do you have family to support you? mine is siding with him.
I can't believe I will be this age and divoriced. Who will want to be around me now?

 

[TealTuesday]

sometimes the best path is kicking the jerk to the side.