Table manners for a 5 year old

[((Vibe))]

Hello,

My daughter is 5 years old (turning 6 in a month) and, like any kid, is prone to smacking her lips/eating with her mouth open.

I've been trying to instill good table manners in her and have been reminding her not to do this for a good while now (a couple years maybe?).

I often have high expectations of her and she makes me proud by meeting them 99.9% of the time...(this is probably the only exception lol)

But my wife gets upset at me asking her to do this and tells me that she is "only five years old" and that me expecting her to not eat with her mouth open is setting too high of a standard...

So I'm looking for some feedback from other parents...am I setting the bar too high, or no?

 

[((Vibe))]

bump...

 

[Hadassah]

IMHO, no you haven't set the bar too high. We were certainly not allowed to smack or slurp at that age, and were driven nuts by our cousins who were.

 

[Birbitt]

You have not set the bar too high at all. My boys ages 5 and 6 almost always chew with their mouths closed, and I don't think I've ever heard them slurp soup or drinks. If you start early and stay consistent children will develop wonderful manners. If my boys do smack or chew with their mouths open I remind them that it's impolite and they stop. I don't "punish" them for forgetting, I simply remind them not to do it.

I

 

[lucypevensie]

I don't think it's unreasonable to expect 5 year old kids to chew food quietly with their mouth closed.

Some eating sounds are normal and acceptable, and some of us with sensitive hearing need to be mindful of that and make sure we're being reasonable too. Are you sure it's the rule that makes your wife unhappy rather than perhaps the way you respond? I only ask this because eating noises, even minor ones, are like nails on a chalboard to me, and i've been knows to be oversensitive and overreactive to the sounds.

 

[Stan53]

Having children and raising children is such a blessing. Taking a young child and moulding it along Christian principles. That is a joy in life not to be missed.

Hello,
But my wife gets upset at me asking her to do this and tells me that she is "only five years old" and that me expecting her to not eat with her mouth open is setting too high of a standard...

This is a whole nuther issue which you and your wife will need to work out. The standards you set are those you will both need to agree on and I am not sure that issue is relevant here. I wont take sides. Remember you are the leader in your home.

So I'm looking for some feedback from other parents...am I setting the bar too high, or no?

You are training. Training. training. Oh, did I tell you? You are training. Training. Not condemning. Your training. You are instilling good habits in a daughter who, by your own admission, is excellent 99.9% of the time. Your training. Not nagging. Nagging is bad. A quiet word will suffice. Oh, did I tell you? Your training. Training requires repetition. Am I repeating myself enough. And your training. It takes time. All good things take time. Your training. And just incase your not aware, your training.
In my house I tell my girls, 6 and 3, that once the food goes into the mouth I don't want to see it again. I do this often. It takes time to develop good habits. Oh, and just in case, on the off chance you might have forgotten, your training.

 

[MLEN]

I'd say that a gentle reminder each time is fine. Most kids this age involuntarily chew/eat with a lot of noise making. No need to punish - just remind. It may take a while (or may be not depending on the child). But eventually, they will get better at table manners.

 

[tiredwalker]

As long as you are praising her when she is quiet, I don't see any harm in it. I'm from a different mode of thinking on things like this. They are only kids once. I don't raise little piggies, but I certainly don't expect our children to sit and eat silently. We eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner at the table, but they can wiggle, giggle, and make silly faces if they want too. We like lots of laughter in our home. I'm sure some would be horrified if they saw my dh eating like Cookie Monster at the table, but it does make our non-eater take some extra bites.

She'll get there.

 

[ChildByGrace]

Some children take longer for it to sink in than with others. As others have said you just have to keeps praising her when she does est nicely etc