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Survival Toolbox

Roseonathorn

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Jeshu

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One great way to work yourself through your confusion is to bare your heart before Jesus - daily - on paper - telling Him not what you think He wants to hear but how you feel and what you are thinking and which atitudes rule the moment at such times and things like that.

Honest such becomes a real aye opener in The End, that is if you dare to read back and so keep track of your progress in Christ as well as outside of Christ, as such is not recorded but confessed. Make sure you put dates down as they help a lot later on making sense of it all. However it is becoming aware about our inner divisions that helps understand God's Word best - for then the word can be much more easily applied to our inner world of being, and who inside our hearts is who and what, which name/place we carry/have in such selves and what our situations is on the left or on the right of Christ's Sword and what to do about that.

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Jeshu

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To eat The Word is The Secret to Eternal Life!

To eat His Word means to read the words as a private address to your heart and to know that at all time God is speaking to you His Words of Eternal love and eternal damnation to the wicked ruling our sinful lives.

This menas that you don't have to understand what you read as long as you watch how - and who and what in you respond when that happens and when that doesn't happen - and in no time you will see the sheep and the goats and the Sword of Christ cutting down your enemies before your very eyes, unless you love sin of course, then the battle goes the other way and Christ destroys us until we are no more or have repented on our knees and submitted to Him and his rule of love and truth.

His Word is awesome! For it produces bitter waters to our life in sinful flesh and sets us free from our enemies by bringing His wrath down upon them as their deeds deserve and setting us free to be ourselves.

Hallelujah!

The Living Word Saves
Meeting Jesus down in my deepest Pit
brought an end to all my inner pain
For lovingly The Word made me fit
to have my Good Life back again.

First The Farmer pulled up my weeds
digging up the dirt and rocks within me
then lovingly sowing His Good Seeds
in time harvesting me most abundantly!

Yes The Word's Voice in Spirit of Love
The Living Word brought me under His care
His love dwelling within me from up above
His everlasting Good Life with me to share.

So please do from your pit walk away
also farming His Good Life in your soul
finding New Life in God's Truth today
The LIVING WORD your constant goal.

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teresa

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One great way to work yourself through your confusion is to bare your heart before Jesus - daily - on paper - telling Him not what you think He wants to hear but how you feel and what you are thinking and which atitudes rule the moment at such times and things like that.

Honest such becomes a real aye opener in The End, that is if you dare to read back and so keep track of your progress in Christ as well as outside of Christ, as such is not recorded but confessed.

Love your idea of keeping this journal honest and baring your soul, and especially to date it so that you can go back and review your progress.

Excellent!
 
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teresa

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Boundaries!!

Its been tough to implement, but putting up boundaries of all kinds to protect my fragile self

Keeping away from angry, hostile people by not calling them any more, and slowly backing away so as to not incite any more anger in them

Screening all calls now, bc its just necessary for me to survive

Did you know even sound waves can be boundary crossing, so wearing earplugs to put the monsters away and get some peace is helping.

Boundry placing and earplugs and screening calls and backing off are all survival tools

Not saying this is easy.
 
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Jeshu

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In some way avoidance can help with triggers when we struggle but also make it worse long term for certain situations cannot be prevented at all times. So in the end i found that best is to take on the negativity - one by one - and work them through differently than i have in the past by not shielding myself from the triggers but letting the emotions come bubbling instead - however controlled instead of uncontrolled and little by little instead of the whole commotion in one blast - and so making sure things don't get worse but better.

I found that more than 60 percent of my rage was dealt with doing that over just 4-5 months. Every time going freely through my rage triggers until they were not near as strong any more and i don't get triggered anywhere near as bad as before. i still practice daily and hope to get rid of all my rage at the end of it. i did have excellent counseling to help me achieve this for it is not an easy process and i over did it and went psychotic in the end which was a real pity as well but i still maintained my improvement though i crashed like that.

Still receiving counseling now and making progress dismantling other dissociating methods i have used over the years dealing with my stress.

Peace.
 
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teresa

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In some way avoidance can help with triggers when we struggle but also make it worse long term for certain situations cannot be prevented at all times. So in the end i found that best is to take on the negativity - one by one - and work them through differently than i have in the past by not shielding myself from the triggers but letting the emotions come bubbling instead - however controlled instead of uncontrolled and little by little instead of the whole commotion in one blast - and so making sure things don't get worse but better.

I found that more than 60 percent of my rage was dealt with doing that over just 4-5 months. Every time going freely through my rage triggers until they were not near as strong any more and i don't get triggered anywhere near as bad as before. i still practice daily and hope to get rid of all my rage at the end of it. i did have excellent counseling to help me achieve this for it is not an easy process and i over did it and went psychotic in the end which was a real pity as well but i still maintained my improvement though i crashed like that.

Still receiving counseling now and making progress dismantling other dissociating methods i have used over the years dealing with my stress.

Peace.

Yes, avoidance can be helpful too, to avoid being triggered, as we who have ptsd know full well.

And you are wise to learn to go thru the trauma a little bit at a time and not full out, or the consequences are very bad. My own therapist just told me she cant go any faster with me, or she feels I will be driven to suicide, as the trauma is just too much for me.

@Jeshu , that really bummed me out, to hear her say she thinks I'll just go insane and kill myself. Now that, is what has me down the last 2 days, and made me feel nauseated and fearful.

So I understand what you are saying about a little at a time

But how many of us want to "rush" therapy and "hurry up and get well?"
 
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Jeshu

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.......

But how many of us want to "rush" therapy and "hurry up and get well?"

That has been the issue for me for sure! i have gone through this crap since age 11 with p.t.s.d symptoms and can't wait till i get rid of the worst of them, which according to my counselor may well be my psychotic mind as he seems to think it is disassociation and not mental illness, but i'm not sure about that knowing what i know about my psychotic illness.

Wouldn't it be great if i never go psychotic again? It is my deepest longing apart of have Jesus back Down Here.
 
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Jeshu

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[QUOTE="u2spicy, post: 71713135, member: 383109"
.............
@Jeshu , that really bummed me out, to hear her say she thinks I'll just go insane and kill myself. Now that, is what has me down the last 2 days, and made me feel nauseated and fearful.
..................
"[/QUOTE]

unfortunately i relate to you here as well sis. only this year i have learned to cry again after not crying - apart of a few close calls for 45 years - for i was too scared i would die letting go of my hurt stuck inside of me. It is great to be able to have a nice cry again tho, but yes it took me that long to get there - for not only my assault as a kid but especially my (gone evil,) psychotic episodes after this event played a major part in this.

So yes please take it easy, one step at the time until you are out of the danger zone then you can increase the frequency of hardening yourself against your triggers without having to fear death.

It is very hard to heal from major trauma i know that to be true. Have i prayed that my offenders will not receive my suffering as their reward for pondering on that that has me freak them big time, time and again.

Peace
 
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teresa

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only this year i have learned to cry again after not crying - apart of a few close calls for 45 years - for i was too scared i would die letting go of my hurt stuck inside of me.

that is phenomenal!

You finally cried. after 45 years.

you have my heart on this.

such a huge burden you have had to carry around all of this time, blows me away.

so, so, heavy the weight of it.

brother, it would break most men

thank g-d for you to have this healing at long last

you deserve it

this picture feels to me like us two as children who are often lost and scared and alone, who have escaped our captors and weep with sorrow, exhaustion and relief...

we can never go back in time and change it

its over now and we are safe

what is dangerous today, is the personal aftermath and how to deal with that and live

we got out, @Jeshu

some never make it

crying_in_your_arms_by_manalsh88-d5smx2t.jpg


Crying In Your Arms
 
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Jeshu

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that is phenomenal!

You finally cried. after 45 years.

you have my heart on this.

such a huge burden you have had to carry around all of this time, blows me away.

so, so, heavy the weight of it.

brother, it would break most men

thank g-d for you to have this healing at long last

you deserve it

this picture feels to me like us two as children who are often lost and scared and alone, who have escaped our captors and weep with sorrow, exhaustion and relief...

we can never go back in time and change it

its over now and we are safe

what is dangerous today, is the personal aftermath and how to deal with that and live

we got out, @Jeshu

some never make it

View attachment 206862

Crying In Your Arms

Thanks very much i appreciate your gesture very much. We been a survivors, so glad we both got away alive. Strangely i learned a lot and gained even more - though in the very long run not before - nothing hasn't a flip side i suppose - even severe trauma and its dreadful consequences.

What about you? Anything positive come from the misery inflicted on you? Or only ever bad life?
 
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teresa

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Thanks very much i appreciate your gesture very much. We been a survivors, so glad we both got away alive. Strangely i learned a lot and gained even more - though in the very long run not before - nothing hasn't a flip side i suppose - even severe trauma and its dreadful consequences.

What about you? Anything positive come from the misery inflicted on you? Or only ever bad life?

@Jeshu, yes, it took me the same as you-a very long time-to gain the benefits of this crime against humanity basically (suffer the little children not, for they are our future).

Lets both share any silver linings with each other.

For me, its taught me to be much more compassionate and empathetic, patient, kind and to be more humble.

People may cringe at this, but I do believe that the light of G-d can shine into, and through, a broken heart because there are cracks among the broken pieces

17811631-Puissance-de-l-amour-humain-et-Euphoria-avec-des-sentiments-intenses-et-l-nergie-des-motions-romanti-Banque-d%27images.jpg
 
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