Hello sister..
I can definitely relate to surrendering an Isaac. As a matter of fact, I have surrendered a 'few' Isaacs the past few years. The same thing happen to me the first time I experienced this extreme disappointment, I sought the Lord and he told me it was an Isaac surrender. It was painful, I cried and pouted and yelled at God for a while...then I finally, let go and let God..Though over time, he healed the pain, and I learned some things through that was easier for me the next time I had to surrender another Isaac. When God was done with me, there was nothing that I would not surrender or forsake for him.
I discovered that I had to lose my life, and all of it and how I thought it should be and work out, to take up his life. Sometimes we talk a lot about God and the scriptures, but until you actually have to walk the walk you talk...( A true WALK OF FAITH each day ) you don't get to experience God the way he truly desires for us. In order to find our lives, scripture says, we must first be willing to lose our lives.
God also reminded me that unless a seed goes into the ground and THEN DIES, it can not produce a harvest. I never understood that passage of scripture till I entered that place of death to my dreams, hopes and my OWN PLANS. When you plant a seed, it actually dies before it begins to grow..I did not know that, But that is what God will sometimes allow in our own lives. We forget that when we become followers of Christ, that we are giving up our own selfish desires and ways of how things should 'work out', and we are taking on the desires and plans he has for our lives. He will take us through whatever he chooses until we get it and finally surrender to it. We are not living for ourselves, but we now are living for him. It is not our will, but the will of God to be done in our lives. This true surrender and following of God will cost you some things you wish for, maybe even forever or just a season, and that season could be a long time..or short.
God has a way of changing our hearts desires into the desires of HIS HEART..and in the long run, you will begin to see that he had a better plan for you and your dreams than you could never figure out on your own anyway.
Go with the flow, and enjoy the ride. God plans and ways for your life are far better than you could ever cook up and plan out for yourself. Let Go and Let God..He is working things out in you, and for your ULTIMATE GOOD In the end and his ULTIMATE GLORY......