Suppose God didnt want to heal a person with depression on earth, How could God use this person for His glory in other ways? because I dont believe a depressed person plus social anxiety (well someone like me) has much ability to help people.. I cant even enjoy one conversation with people.. I really really dread most contact with people and I feel im too far from understanding people and knowing what to say to help them.
I know and believe this verse to be true:
Romans 8:28 "We know that all things work for good for those who love God, 6 who are called according to his purpose." Does this mean we are really going to be content with the good God plans for us on earth.. will we be happy on earth? Though I think it would be great for me to be someone who lives his life with pain but always helping people despite it with no rest from the pain I dont want it to have to be like that.. and I dont want God to want that to be me. But nevertheless God is great and is worthy of everything and I want to please Him.. but I think it will eventually make me angry.I feel like I might have this depression always to keep me humble bcoz really this pain is not much compared to the joys of heaven for eternity.. but what answer can I give a non-christian or those who see me as someone living to please God and thinking im miserable because of it.I need to be aware of Gods love continually or im miserable but I dont think that will happen but it might.Am I just being a complainer? What does God think about that. I can accept depression maybe a bit more if I knew I could still give glory to God and have delight in doing His will. Man cannot live without purpose?Have u heard of those people who live with their depression 30 yrs.. have some of them lived 30 yrs with depression even since they knew Christ and seek Him daily?I feel like as long as this depression is here I only seek God for comfort , maybe without depression I wouldnt seek Him as often for Him to turn me into what He wants me to be.. But even with depression I can be lazy or even more lazier than a healthier person in seeking God. SO they get the benefit of that and being healthy.But Isnt that kind of God getting rid of my free will so I dont go far from Him? which He doesnt do to other people? But I like that better coz I never want to leave Jesus hopefully.But what does God want to turn me into? isnt there some people who lived 30 yrs seeking God yet still not being u'sed by God in service. What if im like that?Am I meant to choose not to think all these negatives but then what will I think about? if I feel im not getting lessons from the word and comfort continually from the word.I think I realllly might not make sense because I write randomly..but I feel really sick.. people call me dead sometimes but not to offend me but they know I feel it.
I know and believe this verse to be true:
Romans 8:28 "We know that all things work for good for those who love God, 6 who are called according to his purpose." Does this mean we are really going to be content with the good God plans for us on earth.. will we be happy on earth? Though I think it would be great for me to be someone who lives his life with pain but always helping people despite it with no rest from the pain I dont want it to have to be like that.. and I dont want God to want that to be me. But nevertheless God is great and is worthy of everything and I want to please Him.. but I think it will eventually make me angry.I feel like I might have this depression always to keep me humble bcoz really this pain is not much compared to the joys of heaven for eternity.. but what answer can I give a non-christian or those who see me as someone living to please God and thinking im miserable because of it.I need to be aware of Gods love continually or im miserable but I dont think that will happen but it might.Am I just being a complainer? What does God think about that. I can accept depression maybe a bit more if I knew I could still give glory to God and have delight in doing His will. Man cannot live without purpose?Have u heard of those people who live with their depression 30 yrs.. have some of them lived 30 yrs with depression even since they knew Christ and seek Him daily?I feel like as long as this depression is here I only seek God for comfort , maybe without depression I wouldnt seek Him as often for Him to turn me into what He wants me to be.. But even with depression I can be lazy or even more lazier than a healthier person in seeking God. SO they get the benefit of that and being healthy.But Isnt that kind of God getting rid of my free will so I dont go far from Him? which He doesnt do to other people? But I like that better coz I never want to leave Jesus hopefully.But what does God want to turn me into? isnt there some people who lived 30 yrs seeking God yet still not being u'sed by God in service. What if im like that?Am I meant to choose not to think all these negatives but then what will I think about? if I feel im not getting lessons from the word and comfort continually from the word.I think I realllly might not make sense because I write randomly..but I feel really sick.. people call me dead sometimes but not to offend me but they know I feel it.
but I also feel like I should add something. Your brain is another part of your body. It's more complex than other parts, but it's a body part nonetheless, and things can go wrong with it organically just like things can go wrong with other parts. If you broke out in rashes, you'd go see a dermatologist. Well, if you're feeling like there's something "off" in your thoughts, maybe you should think about seeing a doctor for that. It might turn out to be something that is totally treatable. The medical system is a gift from God, too - I'm sure He put it here for us to use it! 
