Support For My Friend

[OctoberWinter]

My friend has recently been diagnosed with OCD but with religious tones to it. She told me what it was called but I forgot. I am here wondering what I can do to support her and to help her rebuild her faith. It has been an issue for about 4 years. I have been trying to encourage her the best I can. I'm not sure what else I can do to help her. I'm hoping maybe one of you could help me. Thanks, Anna

 

[seajoy]

My friend has recently been diagnosed with OCD but with religious tones to it. She told me what it was called but I forgot. I am here wondering what I can do to support her and to help her rebuild her faith. It has been an issue for about 4 years. I have been trying to encourage her the best I can. I'm not sure what else I can do to help her. I'm hoping maybe one of you could help me. Thanks, Anna

Hi October!

Welcome! You're a good friend to be so caring.

What she has is probably called scruplosity. There is actually nothing wrong with her faith...though she will tell you so, over and over .

You probably reassure her about how she really is a christian etc... Reassurance is not what folks with ocd need (but it's what they crave). What she needs is a reliable psychiatrist, meds, and ocd therapy. I went through this whole thing...it was horrible. The thoughts are scary beyond words. But the above treatment I mentioned worked for me. I've been doing great for 14yrs. I had the thoughts for 8yrs.

Thanks for being a good friend. Please encourage her in her therapy...that's the best thing you can do for her.

seajoy

 

[OctoberWinter]

Hi October!

Welcome! You're a good friend to be so caring.

What she has is probably called scruplosity. There is actually nothing wrong with her faith...though she will tell you so, over and over .

You probably reassure her about how she really is a christian etc... Reassurance is not what folks with ocd need (but it's what they crave). What she needs is a reliable psychiatrist, meds, and ocd therapy. I went through this whole thing...it was horrible. The thoughts are scary beyond words. But the above treatment I mentioned worked for me. I've been doing great for 14yrs. I had the thoughts for 8yrs.

Thanks for being a good friend. Please encourage her in her therapy...that's the best thing you can do for her.

seajoy

Yes, scruplosity is what she called it. You say to encourage her in her therapy and I plan on doing that. What do I say to her when she calls me in a panic about fearing she's commited the unforgivable sin. I know she hasn't and I know that she is not asking that question but the OCD is causing her to feel that way. She also tells me that she doesn't think she believes in Jesus anymore and I just kind of blow it off ( Probably not the best thing) but I just don't know what to tell her to get her back on track so to speak. I'm so afraid that I'm going to tell her the wrong answer and that things will be worse for her. :o She really seems to be hanging on every word I tell her. Is this something that she can and or has to do on her own? Other people close to her seem to think that she is looking for attention and pretty much tell her to stop being so selfish and that she can choose to or not to feel this way. Thank you for your help, Anna

 

[seajoy]

Yes, scruplosity is what she called it. You say to encourage her in her therapy and I plan on doing that. What do I say to her when she calls me in a panic about fearing she's commited the unforgivable sin. I know she hasn't and I know that she is not asking that question but the OCD is causing her to feel that way. She also tells me that she doesn't think she believes in Jesus anymore and I just kind of blow it off ( Probably not the best thing) but I just don't know what to tell her to get her back on track so to speak. I'm so afraid that I'm going to tell her the wrong answer and that things will be worse for her. :o She really seems to be hanging on every word I tell her. Is this something that she can and or has to do on her own? Other people close to her seem to think that she is looking for attention and pretty much tell her to stop being so selfish and that she can choose to or not to feel this way. Thank you for your help, Anna

What I would say, if she calls you in a panic, is..."Remember, "Susie" it's the ocd... what did your therapist tell you to do when you feel like this?" (encourage her in whatever that is)

I remember hanging on to every word that christians told me also. I finally had to come to the conclusion that all the reassurance in the world does not help an ocd'er. Think of the handwashing type of ocd...all the handwashing never "removes" the germs enough, so the cycle is started all over again. Same with religious thoughts/ocd...reassurance just keeps the cycle going.

No, she is not trying to get attention...she is in pure agony, and would trade this for anything else. She cannot choose the thoughts she has, any more than you can choose not to have a cold. That really burns me when folks talk like that, because they have no idea what they are talking about.

Hang in there...she needs you right now, but remember, she has to fix this...you can't do it for her. Hopefully that takes some pressure off of you.

seajoy

 

[OctoberWinter]

You have been so helpful to me. I'm hoping that she can get a grip on thisand overcome it sooner than later. She has been suffering with it for about 4 years and just last Friday was finally able to have a name for it. So less than a week. Thank you SO much for the "cold" comparrison. I have been trying to use other comparisons with her to try to get her back on track. Most of them stick for the duration of the phone call. I think I will mention the comparison to her and maybe try to get her to explain it to her husband who just doesn't know what to do with her. She sits on the phone with me all night on in her room with her nose in the bible and he sits on the computer. Gratefully this is after dinner and the girls are in bed. I wish there was a way that I could talk to him and get him to see that she is not choosing this. But I don't think I would feel comfortable sitting down with him. Plus he is a teacher so it's not like he can go to a therapy session with her. Is there something (book or pamphet) that we can read to understand this better and to be more of a help to her? Is there some sort of support group that you know of that she could go to? We live in Wisconsin. At this point in time I'll take anything just to get her the help that she needs. Again Thank You SO MUCH for taking the time to offer me advice, Anna