Superficial attractions?

[secret_santa_girl]

Hi.

This is really weird. It's not something i would feel comfortable bringing up with anyone i know. I even registered a new username so i could post this.

Well, i spent some time away from God and was re-saved a few years ago. I've had a few boyfriends, one serious boyfriend who i lived with for awhile, and even since i was saved i've been silly with a few guys.

And as you date ppl, you find out what you like, what you don't, what you will compromise on, what you won't tolerate again. Which is quite natural and healthy.

Well, it seems i've developed an aquired taste. Originally, i wasn't fussed. I've dated guys from various backgrounds. Later, i found i was generally more attracted to black men. Now, it seems i have an unhealthy "thing" for black men.

I've had different tastes (superficially) in the past. I thought guys were hot who were a bit grungey (long hair, dreads, piercings), surfers, sometimes it was older guys, sometimes it was eyes, dark hair...so maybe this is my latest superficial fad.

I'm white, but my family is mixed (immediate family aswell), and if i told my doctor, i'm scared she'd pin me with some gross Freud theory about how i must have some supressed urge towards a family member. ewww....

I don't know how this came to be, i don't really have any associated ideas with bm, good or bad. I don't have any racial issues that i'm aware of.

Is this like the same thing as a guy who is generally more attracted to a blonde over a brunette?

I hate to think i'm superficial. If i am, i don't want to be.

Well, the qualities i really look for in a man is someone who places God first, always, who loves God before an above anything else. And a man who wants to serve Christ, and will sacrafice everything to help others if that's what God asks of him.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Is being more specifically attracted on a physical level a form of idolatory? Is that a way of placing someone on a pedestal?

Pls advise.

 

[Fatolia]

No, it's not a form of idolatry to be specifically attracted. Maybe it's how you're wired.

Please forgive and correct me if I'm wrong, but from what you're saying and how you're saying it, you sound like you're at the latest 25; and are still trying to figure out what's going on in your head. I say don't worry about it. There still may be a while until you are mature enough to be genuinely attracted to someone who loves God before anything else. I understand that I myself am not at this phase yet. I have a few other friends who are going through the same thing. As you grow in your relationship with Jesus, you will naturally be attracted to those who are more like him. Looks (and even personality) eventually do not matter that much anymore.

 

[Johnnz]

Phhysical attraction alone will not sustain a marriage. - Just look at the marriage turnover rate amongst the beautiful people of Hollywood.

John
NZ

 

[secret_santa_girl]

Very true.

I know i could never ever go on looks alone, that looks and physical attraction will not cut it ultimately.

I guess i wonder what a healthy balance would be. And i am still wondering if my physical attractions are healthy or not.

 

[WashedClean]

Very true.

I know i could never ever go on looks alone, that looks and physical attraction will not cut it ultimately.

I guess i wonder what a healthy balance would be. And i am still wondering if my physical attractions are healthy or not.

Why would you think it's idolatry to have a "thing" for black men?? Like someone else said, maybe you're wired that way. It's like someone being attracted to blondes vs. brunettes. As long as you're not perverting anything, and it doesn't sound like you are, then enjoy your relationships with the men you're attracted to. I'm glad you said it's important that he be godly. That is so true!

 

[secret_santa_girl]

Thanx all :-D