Summer Depression, (not mania...)

[bipolarbear]

I was wondering if any one else has summer depression? Summer is the worst time of year for me. Last year around and during summer, I was in a massive depression. I gained so much weight that when I went to my family doc for help (while still depressed) I weighed in at 200 pounds even!

She taught me about portion control, and put me on the long path to successful weight loss. This morning I weighed 161.2 pounds. My weight usually varies by a pound ish throughout the week. This is my lowest weight yet since the beginning of last October. I really don’t want to put the weight back on again this summer!

I have made personal promises to myself that I am supposed to read several times a day to keep me focused. I also have a mini checklist in my planner under prioritized daily task tracker made up from those promises. I try to check off as many as I can manage per day. My planner helps me keep everyone’s schedules straight, and helps to keep me working with my personal promises I made to myself. I have goals for the year too, but I usually only look at them about once every week and a half.

Both my tdoc and my pdoc have “prescribed” that I journal each day, but that gets draining, and some days I just don’t want to do it. (It has been that way the last couple of weeks now.) I have some gaps to fill in for this week, but other than that, I have only missed three days this year, so that is an accomplishment!

I have been feeling “off” lately, so my pdoc made a meds increase adjustment on Tuesday of this week. Today is the first day I do not feel sleepy and completely unmotivated. Plus, I am very lonely! Not like, I am looking for someone lonely, because I am so very happily married to my Beloved, whom I cherish! Just lonely for friends who really understand what I am going through and where I am coming from in reference to this illness.

I have read a lot about keeping “mood charts”, but I really am not good at that. I have come up with my own thing that works for me, I rate my day based on a 4-1 scale, four being a good day, one a bad day. That helps me when I see my docs to show them at a glance what I have been like. My tdoc said this week in a session that over the last few months I have been averaging three bad days (or 1’s) a month. It is just getting harder and harder to keep up with those four’s.

I know I am lonely, because I am pretty shy, so I guess this must be helping that, and I have anxiety, so that doesn’t help things either! Well, I can see I have rambled on a bit. Anyway, I wanted to thank you for such a kind welcome to the board, and look forward to getting to know more of you, and possibly making some friends.

My time will get busy soon as my Kiddies will both be out of school by next Wednesday. My toddler is already home with me. I am so stressed out about that (the end of the school year). I want the summer to be fun for them, but I don’t want to go out side my house and be out around people so much. I feel so bad for my kiddies about last summer; they basically watched TV most of each day, while I just tried to make it through each day. I so don’t want that again!!!

Well, Mommyhood calls (she looks around and finds only herself) and It looks like I need to answer. In addition, I am trying to conquer Mt.Washmore today. It will be an up hill battle! I will send updates later...

Bipolarbear

 

[angelkiss]

Though I can't relate to the summer depression, you are in my prayers. I live on a constant roller coaster ride and have no relief most of the time. I go from one extreme to the next afore I can even get over the other.
May God bless and keep you always!
s and es!!

 

[bipolarbear]

Thanks you have no idea how much I needed that today... I have literally been up and down, and all over, in sadness, depression and loneliness, and to top it off, never mind, it just stinks today...

Bipolerbear

 

[Alive again]

I personally get better with sunshine, but I know of others who get depressed with it and do better in the fall and winter. So know this is possible, but do watch yourself closely so you do not slip further!!!

 

[berry2000]

Me me that happens to me.

Yup although i'm only recently putting it together i get summer depression....but i also get winter depression too (with triggers agh). But overall if i look back at my major depressive episodes they are mostly in summer and early fall (like september).

That doesn't mean though that it will have to be that way this summer. I'm thinking aloud here...but perhaps we have to be extra careful to minimize our triggers during our bad season....wait?..i don't know if its possible but it is worth a try.

Sounds like you have a good support system...atlest with the tdoc and pdoc and hubby.

 

[BlessedMommy05]

I often get summer depression, I love winter and you'd think everyone would love summer but that isnt the case, I hate the heat and just being out in it just makes me depressed. I love the cold ,rain and plain cloudy days.. I dont gain weight in either season but my moods tend to get a lil eh and hard to describe.. Prayers with you that you can handle the summer with your children.. I also have a toddler, a 20month old and its hard to find cheap activities and swimming to do in the summer as pose to winter playing indoor games and such..

 

[bipolarbear]

I often get summer depression, I love winter and you'd think everyone would love summer but that isnt the case, I hate the heat and just being out in it just makes me depressed. I love the cold ,rain and plain cloudy days.. I dont gain weight in either season but my moods tend to get a lil eh and hard to describe.. Prayers with you that you can handle the summer with your children.. I also have a toddler, a 20month old and its hard to find cheap activities and swimming to do in the summer as pose to winter playing indoor games and such..

That is so me! I love the winter, you can put on as many layers as you want, and feel great! It is bright and sunny, with out the heat! After all, in summer, you can only take so much off to escape the heat before you compromise your modisty! Plus, I am very, very pale skinned, to the point and this sis so grose, you can see all my veins bright blue across my chest, and my arms. I am naturally highly photosensitive, and my meds like tripple it, so if I go outside for a few hours with sunscrean on I burn, so its indoors mostly for me. I do like the thought of getting some sun. I love to sit in the shade if its not tooo terribly hotand listen to praise music on my iPod! Its just, with reguard to the kiddies, there are three of them, in stagering ages, and one of me, so I am out numbered 3 to 1! Oh hum...
We play a lot of "winter" inside games in the summer, at least I try to...

Bipolarbear

 

[angelkiss]

Although I love the sunshine, I love the rain. (As long as I don't have to drive in it) When I'm home and nothing to do, something about the rain brings out my art and my poetry. I don't cry much at all and the rain is like a release for me. As crazy as it may sound, it's as if those are my tears.

 

[Alaskamomma]

I have mixed episodes in the summer. Yesterday I cried like I hadn't in a long time, but then last night I was playing football with my family in the front yard, laughing and having a good time. Weird.

Bipolarbear, I will keep you in my prayers. My suggestion for you is to have a goal each day that you KNOW you can achieve and do it. Whether it be household related or something strictly just for you like "going for a walk."

When I was in the hospital, the staff made sure I had a goal each day and you know that it really did make me feel better cause I knew I had acheived something.

So try that. And I pray that your depression is lifted soon. And for all those who struggle... may you be blessed as well.

 

[bipolarbear]

Alaskamomma,

Thank you for that. I see how one goal per day would be helpful. I have a list of personal promises I have made for myself to read for encouragement, but I just haven’t taken them out of my back pocket and read them. I know the depression is starting, despite the meds increase.

I also ask for prayer for my Beloved. He has been my only source of support for the last year solid, besides docs.

I am so ashamed and horribly embarrassed by this illness that I have hardly told any family. The family I did tell, I wasn't ready to tell at the time. I still wish they didn't know! It was done upon bad advice. I cannot tell certain family, they are so "old school". I would be gossiped about, and ignored!

I fear that I will loose my friends, or that they are too busy with their own lives for me. I don’t want to be a bother to them, or an embarrassments either. Nor do I want to become the friend they refer to as “you know, the one with bipolar”!

I think with the Lord's help and strength, I can get through this summer with a mild depression, but I have to figure out a new support network.

I am so ashamed by this illness that I can't even attach my name and face to this illness yet. I am so embarrassed! I am broken, and I know that the things in my past are not my fault, but still, here I am in all my bipolar-ness. (Is that even a word?)

Thank you for your prayers, and again, please remember my Beloved too! He is my very best friend!!!

 

[Alaskamomma]

Bipolarbear, I totally understand how you feel about being ashamed of this illness. Isolation is what I get if I speak about it other than my family. I still don't even understand all the implications of it yet and am still trying to accept that I even have it at all.

Of course, I will remember your beloved in prayer. Mine has been put through a heck of a lot because of mine. God bless him. Nuff said. Prayers are sent.

Be blessed and stay strong.

 

[DoctorPenguin]

Her beloved appreciates the prayers ... thank you ...

 

[angelkiss]

Many prayers goin up for both you and beloved.
s and es!!

 

[wonderwoman]

I was wondering if any one else has summer depression? Summer is the worst time of year for me. Last year around and during summer, I was in a massive depression. I gained so much weight that when I went to my family doc for help (while still depressed) I weighed in at 200 pounds even!

She taught me about portion control, and put me on the long path to successful weight loss. This morning I weighed 161.2 pounds. My weight usually varies by a pound ish throughout the week. This is my lowest weight yet since the beginning of last October. I really don’t want to put the weight back on again this summer!

I have made personal promises to myself that I am supposed to read several times a day to keep me focused. I also have a mini checklist in my planner under prioritized daily task tracker made up from those promises. I try to check off as many as I can manage per day. My planner helps me keep everyone’s schedules straight, and helps to keep me working with my personal promises I made to myself. I have goals for the year too, but I usually only look at them about once every week and a half.

Both my tdoc and my pdoc have “prescribed” that I journal each day, but that gets draining, and some days I just don’t want to do it. (It has been that way the last couple of weeks now.) I have some gaps to fill in for this week, but other than that, I have only missed three days this year, so that is an accomplishment!

I have been feeling “off” lately, so my pdoc made a meds increase adjustment on Tuesday of this week. Today is the first day I do not feel sleepy and completely unmotivated. Plus, I am very lonely! Not like, I am looking for someone lonely, because I am so very happily married to my Beloved, whom I cherish! Just lonely for friends who really understand what I am going through and where I am coming from in reference to this illness.

I have read a lot about keeping “mood charts”, but I really am not good at that. I have come up with my own thing that works for me, I rate my day based on a 4-1 scale, four being a good day, one a bad day. That helps me when I see my docs to show them at a glance what I have been like. My tdoc said this week in a session that over the last few months I have been averaging three bad days (or 1’s) a month. It is just getting harder and harder to keep up with those four’s.

I know I am lonely, because I am pretty shy, so I guess this must be helping that, and I have anxiety, so that doesn’t help things either! Well, I can see I have rambled on a bit. Anyway, I wanted to thank you for such a kind welcome to the board, and look forward to getting to know more of you, and possibly making some friends.

My time will get busy soon as my Kiddies will both be out of school by next Wednesday. My toddler is already home with me. I am so stressed out about that (the end of the school year). I want the summer to be fun for them, but I don’t want to go out side my house and be out around people so much. I feel so bad for my kiddies about last summer; they basically watched TV most of each day, while I just tried to make it through each day. I so don’t want that again!!!

Well, Mommyhood calls (she looks around and finds only herself) and It looks like I need to answer. In addition, I am trying to conquer Mt.Washmore today. It will be an up hill battle! I will send updates later...

Bipolarbear

my boyfriend has summer depression.
I've always traditionally had winter depression and spring manias, but these past few yrs. I've been experiencing some summer depressive episodes.
Though I like the cool, brightness of spring, I don't like the relentless heat of summer. I just feel sort of "exposed" in the summer...as if the bright hot sun is an all seeing eye magnifying what I don't want the world to see.......(my illness)
Sounds are louder and the air feels different. People are out and alive which only draws more attention to my condition. I'm not being paranoid....I know no one knows....but it just makes me feel sort of vulnerable. Makes me long for rainy, cozy, cloudy days.