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suicide of loved one three years on

Oct 8, 2012
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down at the moment grief makes it very hard at times to feel pain for my friend she died three years ago of suicide yeh i feel pain in my heart bt its hard to express it to God . i didnt get to the funeral . i want to write a diary bt done that before bt i just get too down or think im wasting my time but i will do it again- diary. my friend died in a horrible way her body was found later . i feel that guilt like i wish i could of talked to them before they died. ive tried to forget it and just bury it but the pain is there i miss them. badly ive lost them its a loss regardless of spiritual matters i feel tht loss. i dont like to go in the area where they died it freaks me. i just want to open up to God my healer and not run. i dnt want to ignore this. special love to the guy who lost his japenese friend
 
Oct 8, 2012
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did diary mari l mccarthy type of grief journaling. brought some kind thoughts about the deceased the memories aswell as intense emotions/feelings too . the words that got me refering to a particular memory were ' a long time ago' as part of a sentence feels recent but i dont know i didnt like hearing those words.
 
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Oct 8, 2012
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i might have to tackle my fear theres a certain Christian book that the deceased gave to me when they were alive to read and read it after all its only a book and a good one at that bt the songs that i played for them one time their pretty deep emotional songs but i wont go into detail abt songs topic as i dont want to trigger anyone as this about my friend who commited suicide
 
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