suicidal

[LovedLittleLamb]

Hey I'm new here. I have bipolar disorder....had it for 7 years. I'm struggling a lot with suicidal thoughts and I'm not sure I believe in God anymore. I'm 22 and I lost my virginity in May of this year to a fellow 'christian.' Now I'm sexaully active with another guy who isn't a christan.

I used to be a strong christian, (prayed every day, really believed, read the bible every day, went to church), but I pretty much lost faith a year ago. Now I'm wondering again, maybe God is real. Maybe he does love me. Do any of you believe once a christian always a christian no matter what you've done?

 

[needfaith]

rachael
I can feel for where you are now.
Depression can take such a lot from you.
If you are depressed now, then i imagine that no matter what anyone says to you you will still feel lost and alone.
People used to tell me that even when i felt at my lowest then god was still there. It did not mean much to me, as it is difficult to believe something that you have no reassurance in your being about, and that is the place that depression takes you.

I might be going out on a limb here, but if you are feeling guilty about loosing your virginity, I think that is a pressure that you dont need at the moment.
You are an adult, adn as such you make your choices. God loves you as you are and each step on our journey of life that we take is for a reason.
Sometimes the reasons are not clear to us, but often in hindsight we see why our lives took particular paths.
Feeling suicidal is part and parcel of our illness. I would suggest that you accept the thoughts, then let them pass over. Again, often the guilt that comes with feeling suicidal is too much pressure for us.
I have been where you are many many times, and my best advice to you is to hang on in there. There will be brighter days to come. You just need to hang in there for them.
Accept who you are, accept how you feel,adn acknowledge that at teh moment you are unable to do any more. Think when you stop fighting the bit of you that says depression is wrong, then you will be able to accept your self more easily
Dont know if i have made any sense, but take care and i send you my warmest blessings

 

[WashedClean]

((((Rachel))))

You have so much to live for, please don't give into those thoughts. Satan is trying to make you doubt God and keep you from having a relationship with Christ.

Jesus is waiting with open arms for you to come back to him. Let those feelings of guilt bring you back to Jesus. If you really were a Christian, and it sounds like you were, the Holy Spirit is trying to show you the way back to God through his Son.

Please feel free to PM me if you wish.

God bless you and keep praying and seeking...

 

[TheSonsAnvil]

Given the many references in biblical text concerning God, I believe He stands outside of time. "Before the foundations of the world were laid, I AM."

Therefore if you are a believer, then you have your forgiveness.

And since God doesn't change, neither does that forgiveness.

 

[Deb7777]

Hi DoubtingRachel, Welcome to the board, thank you for sharing, Christians see this world as a battle, had Adam and Eve crushed the serpent when he made his first appearance, temptation, death, sin would have been defeated day one. The serpent scored a victory day one and we're all waiting for the final-day for his complete defeat and great punishment that awaits him and his legions. Between day one and the final day, its a battle, Adam and Eve though they walked daily with the Lord in the garden disobeyed his command, talk about being depressed after that but the great thing about Adam and Eve, they did not give up, they recognized they made a mistake. They had it all but now had to live with the consequences of sin but they did not despair, they had to press forward and wait for the Lord to help them in this world that would now have evil present.We all live with the consequence of Adam and Eve's sin, the world is in a struggle between good and evil. The devil does not want you or anybody to have a relationship with God and he'll tempt you like Adam and Eve, and then he'll make it seem like you can't go back to God, Lie! God did not desert Adam and Eve, in fact he sent his Son to undo the damage of that first disobedience by obeying the Father's will even unto death, opening the gates of the kingdom to those who longed to be freed from death's abode, where Adam and Eve had to wait for Christ release. God only wants what's best for you that's why he shares his Wisdom on what would be best. How many times does us humans listen to our own wisdom to find out we didn't give ourselfes the best advice. Plain and simple, the devil hates Jesus because he leads people to the Kingdom, something he can't have again, you and I can have the Kingdom of God, Satan can't, take it one day at a time with the Lord, maybe baby steps right now but that's o.k, he will be a positive in your life and helps life to be less of a burden. He knows we're in a battle and we have an enemy, just duck behind him. God bless and I'll offer up my mass for you, God loves you very much and that's the truth.

 

[Anti Existance]

http://www.near-death.com/experiences/suicide04.html

http://home.quicknet.nl/qn/prive/kes/cycle.pdf This book is called the cycle of the sou, for No matter how deep a soul has fallen there is always a way out.

 

[Druweid]

Do any of you believe once a christian always a christian no matter what you've done?

Greetings!

Now that is a very broad question, and I suspect you're looking for a specific answer. I hope and pray whatever insight I can provide will help you find that answer.

Sometimes, it can be very difficult for us to understand things of a heavenly nature. We know with some certainty, there are things of a heavenly nature that we are not meant to understand. I believe the difference can be told if we are able to relate such things to an earthly equivalent. You once had a relationship with God, and have since left this relationship to be on your own. It is not uncommon to compare a situation like this to the relationship you might have with your earthly father.

If you and your father had argued, and separated on unfavorable terms, you might find yourself no longer a part of his home, and out on your own. During that time, you might do things that your father would find disfavorable or offensive. After a time, you wonder if you can ever return, and be your fathers daughter once again. Is he still your father? You can answer that. Are you still his daughter, and does he still love you? If you have any doubt, I can assure you as a father of four, yes, he still loves you. One difference of significance here; your earthly father may not know how to love well. Some lack the skill, or knowledge or ability to do so. Your heavenly Father does know, and is more than able. The only question left is whether or not your father can forgive you, for leaving, for making mistakes, for anything. As assuredly as I can say he loves you, I can say he would forgive you. Even moreso can your heavenly Father forgive you, and I believe you know that.

The things is, I don't know if you'll be able to receive and accept that forgiveness until you've forgiven yourself. Remind yourself that, yes, the flesh can be weak, but the spirit remains strong. We are not judged by why and how often we fall, but by our resolve to continue getting up and continuing again, stronger and wiser. In the Gospels, when Jesus forgave even the worst of sinners, his message was eloquently clear; "Go and sin no more." Even from my own children, I am not disappointed when they fail, I am disappointed when they stop trying.

In a more real-world sense, again the question; is a Christian always a Christian? I have known many who left the Christian practice. Some I have seen return, some I know have not returned. One thing I know to be true of all of them. Unless they have completely turned their back, or completely hardened their hearts, those who have not returned do still carry a bit of their Christianity with them. So perhaps I can say with some certainty, that unless you choose to completely abandon your Christianity, it will never abandon you.

I wish you strength, peace, and blessings, and pray you realize what wonderful, valuable person you really are.

Best wishes,
Druweid

 

[Phospho]

Hey, How are you doing? I hope that you are feeling better.

The first thing that I feel I must say is that I see a lot of people who suffer from being bi-polar, they always end up in my jail when they don't consistently take their medication. That is not intended to be a put-down in any way, shape, or form...but a warning. If you have been put on medication for this condition, until God heals you of it, you need to keep taking it regularly.

I am not normally an advocate for medication, but sometimes it may be necessary as a temporary sedation of the problem. I only start addressing this problem first because it can affect one's thinking and reasoning abilities, and thus it can affect what we believe and how we react to what we believe.

Secondly, you said that you once was a strong Christian, that you prayed, went to church, read your Bible, etc...I do not mean to offend anyone on this board, but could you give a little more info on what kind of church you were attending...was the pastor spiritual, or just religious?...were you caught up into the "name it and claim it, blab it and grab it" crowd? Or maybe that personal connection with God was never truly reached through spending intimate quiet time with God and loving Him in personal praise and worship???

We can be active in church things and never make that intimate connection with God, turning what was meant to be a loving relationship into nothing more than mere religion. This is what most of the church today is doing, to our shame and disgrace. I would challenge you to look at reasons for faith again, there are different one that touch different people, I think that is one reason why God has given so many different spiritual gifts and natural and historical facts as reasons for faith.

Then pray and ask God to forgive you again, do a Bible study on holiness, purge your life of all the unclean things that are revealed to you, and sing....sing, sing, sing!!! Sing praise to the Almighty! Praise Him and His covenant name to His children. Worship Him in song and in loving obedience, and spend intimate quality time with Him, talking to Him about everything and anything that comes into your heart...pretty soon you will discover a dynamic in your life that I can almost believe was not in your life the first time around.

It has taken me years to learn these important things, if you apply them, you WILL experience that dynamic, intimate, personal, loving relationship with the one and true Living God.

Blessings!

 

[AtheistPerson]

Yeah i understand depression and losing my faith with these nice ADD pills. I don't know where you come up with once a christian always a christian though. Honestly you will get over it and you will feel the same as you always have. Medication actually has a reverse effect on me and might on you.

 

[bethdinsmore]

...suicidal thoughts ... Do any of you believe once a christian always a christian no matter what you've done?

Yes, absolutely - here's why, from my website:
“Can a person lose their salvation?”
I personally believe that a person cannot lose their salvation once they are saved, no matter what they do or whether or not they feel saved. Here's how I would summarize it, based on Scripture:

What is saving faith? in salvation verses, the Greek for believe is "to trust in or rely upon". As in John 3:16, Acts 16:31: to trust in Christ's death on the cross to pay for all sins (I Peter 3:18) and to get us to Heaven one day without any good works or promises of our own (Ephesians 2:8-9). In other words, "faith alone in Christ alone plus nothing". And we cannot lose our salvation . It only requires a simple decision on our part, ( to rely on Jesus alone to save us and to get us to Heaven one day, without any good works or promises of our own.)

Once we are saved, God chastens and punishes us when we do wrong, just as a good father would, but He would never cast us out of His family, no matter what we might do. Once saved, always saved:
Romans 6:23: "The wages of sin is death, but the GIFT of God is eternal life."
Romans 11:29 "The GIFTS and calling of God are irrevocable."
John 10:28-29 "no one can snatch you out of His hand" (this "no one" even includes ourselves, we can't snatch ourselves out of the Father's hand).

At this point, a lot of people object and say, "But that belief would cause a person to sin much more". First, no matter what the result, God's Word stands true. Second, the thing that usually happens is that a person has a lot more freedom to love the Lord and to get his mind on the needs of others. And to serve with a willing heart, not one that's full of fear of hell.

God deals with sin on the part of the Christian (look what happened to King David, yet he knew that he had eternal life - Psalm 23, last verse, and II Sam. 12:7-23). Obviously, discipline can get pretty rough if it's necessary.

Here's the process: When we sin, we are to confess it and stop doing it. I John 5:13 If we don't, God will lovingly discipline or punish us, so that we will grow in righteousness. Hebrews 12:2-11 But, once we have trusted Christ as our sinbearer, we will go to Heaven, no matter what (verses quoted above).

One more thing - we are to let go and let God. We cannot live the victorious Christian life in our own strength.
2 Cor 1:9 Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. (NIV)
2 Pet 1:3 His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godlinessthrough our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. (NIV) I have more to say on letting go and letting God, if you wish to hear it. END OF WEBSITE QUOTE

Also, about the suicidal thoughts - if you are not already doing so, it is very important that a person with thoughts like that consults a mental health professional immediately - especially a Christian professional. If you are seeing one, are they aware of these thoughts? They need to know because some medications can make the thoughts worse.

God bless you, friend. I will pray for you. aloha in Jesus

 

[heron]

Jesus told his disciples to forgive seventy time seven. So you know that, even if you stray from Him, He is ready and waiting to forgive you again.

People are full of judgments. Our heads are full of condemnation. But God has offered righteousness and holiness to us, just by choosing to accept it. You are His child.

 

[butterfly33]

*Rachel!*

You are worth SO MUCH MORE than this.


GOD has a FUTURE and an IDENTITY just for you, he already wiped the slate clean for you when he sent his son to die for YOU.


He's ready to start an unforgettable journey with you when you are!




​

 

[Inperfected]

Last year I was in a situation quite similar... No bipolar, but the spiritual side was very similiar... I wanted to get close to god at some points of it, but mostly i didn't at all.. It was very hard, for i knew he exists, but i didn't want him... And that got me feel guilty, angry, and pretty upset honestly... How'd i get out of it, i honestly aren't 100% sure... I'm sure god helped, and prayer from others helped, but one thing was i just *decided* that i would trust in him, and believe in him. No matter what. I think that's when it changed... Sometimes as hard as it is to trust, it's what you will have to do.

 

[chris414]

God will never lever you even if you think He has (Hebrews 13:5)

 

[livinginthelight]

Hey I'm new here. I have bipolar disorder....had it for 7 years. I'm struggling a lot with suicidal thoughts and I'm not sure I believe in God anymore. I'm 22 and I lost my virginity in May of this year to a fellow 'christian.' Now I'm sexaully active with another guy who isn't a christan.

I used to be a strong christian, (prayed every day, really believed, read the bible every day, went to church), but I pretty much lost faith a year ago. Now I'm wondering again, maybe God is real. Maybe he does love me. Do any of you believe once a christian always a christian no matter what you've done?

The good news is that you are in great company. We are all born as sinners and one sin is as bad as any other. Jesus loves you as much as the most pious believer and you should never doubt that. It says in Romans 5: 8, that Jesus died for us knowing that we were sinners.

He of course wants more from you than you are giving right now. We are all God's children. Paul calls us God's masterpiece. So if you ever get down on yourself think that Jesus loved you enough to die a horrible death in order to bring you back into a relationship with God.

We were made with a purpose. We are God's love child. He made us to love and he wants that love returned to him. We have to choose to love. He could have made us to love, him but that would not be real love. Love must be given and not taken.

When we sinned we separated ourselves from God. We could not go back to God, so he brought us back. He entered the world in the form of a man, setting aside his divine nature, in order to lead us back to himself. Since God is perfect and the world isn't, people rejected him and killed him. He knew that this would happen. But, because he was God he was able to return after death. He showed himself for several weeks and revealed that he was and still is God.

When he left, he left behind his Holy Spirit which is active in your life, even before you are even aware of it. He is working the circumstances around you so that you can accept Jesus. He brings you into contact with others who will witness to you. Even the bad things that happen to you can be instrumental in bringing you to Christ. We can never see his hand while we are suffering because we are too caught up in our own pain. It is only afterwards when you reflect on it that you see it.

I have suffered from a debilitating and painful illness for 16 years. I can no longer work and I have suffered from long bouts of depression. I am currently on two antidepressants and find no shame in this. I suffered through the depths of depression brought on my inability to deal with my disease and the death of a younger brother from cancer. I was suicidal, so I understand what it means and why someone would want to take their own life.

God is good. Even though I still suffer pain, he has helped me to overcome depression and suicidal thoughts. That is a long story in itself.

I see his hand on me from the beginning of my illness till now. I have learned to depend him and he has showered me with other blessings. I hope that one day he will cure me. Meanwhile I wait and trust in him.

God longs for you to come to him and to develop a relationship with him. He promises to restore you and forgive you. Once you are in a relationship with him, he wants you to depend on him for all things. He wants to take up your burdens, if you will let him.

The ball is in your court. You must accept the gift of salvation, if you have not already done so. If you have then he calls you into a deeper relationship.

You have two voices in you. One is God urging you on. The other is just as real. It is Satan. He preys on your weakness and sows seeds of doubt. If the voice is from God, it will cause you to depend more on him. If the prompting is from Satan it will take you farther away. He will tell you that you can do it by yourself and when you fail he is not there to help.

Most of us have been listening to that voice that belittles us and tells us that we are messed up and that God could not possibly love someone as messed up as we are. That of course is a lie, but we buy into it because of the way we feel at the time.

Trust in the Lord in all things. Nothing is too small. Open up all aspects of your life to him. Sometimes letting the light in will reveal somethings that you have kept hidden in the darkness such as anger, resentment, unforgiveness, hatred, lust, etc. Sometimes these things are damage that we inflicted on ourselves and sometimes they are things done to us by others. Jesus already knows about them. He will help you to deal with them. Once you deal with these things you will feel like new person.

That is not just empty talk. Jesus backs everything up. He has kept every promise that he ever made.

 

[hlaltimus]

Hey I'm new here. I have bipolar disorder....had it for 7 years. I'm struggling a lot with suicidal thoughts and I'm not sure I believe in God anymore. I'm 22 and I lost my virginity in May of this year to a fellow 'christian.' Now I'm sexaully active with another guy who isn't a christan.

I used to be a strong christian, (prayed every day, really believed, read the bible every day, went to church), but I pretty much lost faith a year ago. Now I'm wondering again, maybe God is real. Maybe he does love me. Do any of you believe once a christian always a christian no matter what you've done?

The history of the Christian Church is filled to the brim with testimonies of people who were in the Church but not fully or truly of it. One of them is typing these lines to you at this moment. Lots and lots of people I have personally known have testified over and over again that they were brought up in the Church in good standing and yet eventually found out that they had, for all of that, missed a personal relationship with the Lord. It is an easy thing to do. My advice to you is the same which the Apostle Paul gave as his life philosophy in Philippians 3:13-14
"Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."
This man had also a previous religious experience which eventually proved to be disappointing, but that did not stop him from locking onto Christ. Do what Paul did, forget your past and reach for Christ with all your heart and might. If a religious persecutor (Paul) of the early Christians got in, you certainly will. Forget yesterday...Get and read a New Testament, believe it, obey it, and then just watch what will happen!