"The Bright Yellow Pee"
He had just gotten back in the bus that was ready to depart out of Chernobyl when the urge to urinate hit him strongly. Unluckily for him, this particular bus wasn’t outfitted with a bathroom so he was going to need to hold his bladder until the bus reached a pit-stop. Which unfortunately for him was nearly an hour away. The uncomfotableness of the situation was made worse by an elderly woman that was seated next to him on the bus. For the past 15 minutes she kept aggravating him with her wit that caused him to want to just tell her to stop talking to him. He probably would have if it weren’t for the fact that he was always taught to respect his elders and honor them. He tried to stave off the annoyance and change the subject by commenting on how hot the weather was presently.
“It’s pretty hot outside today.”, he commented.
However, the woman didn’t miss a beat.
“Not as hot as it was here in 1986, dear.”
She held a wry grin that showed rotten and missing teeth, maybe from prolonged tobacco use or someone busting her in the face, Joshua thought.
Now he just planned to ignore her. They rode silently for a few minutes when she spoke again.
“You know, son, I lived near the nuclear facility when the accident happened. I thought you might need to know that.
Every year I take a trip back to observe how things are and keep memories. Experts tell me that depending on the person, even one exposure to the radiation there can spark cancer in just a few months, with symptoms starting in just a mere hour after contact. I don’t mean to say these things to spook you, son. Oh heavens no. Just look at you. This is your first trip to Chernobyl and you’re still gleaming with glee and radiance. I can see it in your face. You’ve got a shine that wasn’t there before.”
She reached out in front of Joshua’s face and framed them with her hands. The look on her face was one mixed with delight and fright.
Joshua thought if this woman touches me I’m going to stand up and get away from her. He had no idea the mind games she was playing with him and the toll they were taking on his sub-conscious.
“So you’re from the states are you?” she continued.
“I bet it cost you an arm and a leg to make this trip here didn’t it?”
Joshua sat quietly with his face looking straight forward and didn’t answer her.
Meanwhile, the old lady continued quipping.
“Perhaps when you get back you’ll have some more to spare.”
She sat back and produced a cackled laughter which drew stares from other occupants on the bus.
For the next several minutes, she shut up and rode in silence. And the only thing heard was the drone of the bus’s engine.
At last, the bus was about to make its arrival at a pit-stop where passengers were going to be allowed to get off, stretch and get refreshments for themselves.
As if the old woman knew this was one of her last ques to instill fear in Joshua, she began again. This time she brought up her own hometown of Chernboyl and asked Joshua if she could tell him a joke.
“I don’t really want to hear it”, replied Joshua.
“Oh come on.” answered the old lady.
“How many people from Chernobyl does it take to screw in a lightbulb?”
Joshua sat still and just shook his head. The bus was now pulling up at a gas station. He was going to be glad to get off and use the bathroom. And most importantly find another seat when he got back on. Away from this demented and warped woman once for all.
“The answer to how many men from Chernobyl it takes to screw in a lightbulb is none, my boy. They all glow in the dark.”
With that, she patted him in the back as Joshua angrily got up out of his seat and started walking up the aisle of the bus.
Finally, he made it to the bathroom. Then Joshua cried out. The stream of his urine was bright yellow. Even to the point, it looked neon to the eye. The flood of thoughts that rushed to his mind was constant and consistent with the words of the old woman back on the bus. He quickly finished his business and walked back to the bus. He quickly found one open seat that was next to a rider that had already sat down. He took the seat just thankful it wasn’t the old woman he was sitting next to this time. And he proceeded to take out his smartphone and Google the cause for bright yellow pee.
