I used to be a Protestant. In fact, I was a Protestant minister - a single minister in a struggling church. The church rented an apartment for me and gave me $50 a week. The only reason I took it was because it was hard for me to find a pastorate being a single man. The reason the church struggled so much was that the church was of an unknown denomination. Those who knew about the denomination would stay way from it. Even our people did not like it. After three years, I was approached by another pastor of a very successful church in our town asked if our church would like to jump to his denomination and then he would send people to our struggling church to help it grow. Finally, I saw a light at the end of the tunnel!
Also, I met a woman. She was a divorced woman with a daughter. I asked the key people in my church if it was all right to date a divorced woman. They said it was fine. Some of them were divorced and remarried.Eventually, we were engaged. But when we announced our engagement, the people in the church changed their mines. They told me to leave.
My fiancee said that I could be an assistant pastor at her church. So we started to attend there. The senior pastor liked me. It looks like I would become their assistant pastor - with more pay than I was getting at the church that kicked me out!
But then my fiancee changed her mind! She broke up with me. And the senior pastor said that since we broke up that I could not be their assistant pastor.
This was the lowest point in my life! Why me? I see other successful ministers. I see other happily-married men. Why is this happening to me? I had to move back into my parents' house. Thank the Lord that I had them to help me out. I went back to school to learn another career.
But every day I struggled with thoughts of suicide. The only reason I did not commit suicide was that I was afraid that those Catholics were right (I was raised as a Catholic) - maybe suicide is a grave sin that would send me to hell! These suicidal thoughts stayed with me for two years. I was not even sure that God existed! I was told that if I turned to Christ that I would have an abundant life. I felt like I was lied to.
Then I met a Catholic woman - and we were married. She dragged me to church. At first, i resisted. But then I started to become attracted to the Catholic faith. Twenty years ago I came back entirely.
There are many things that I love about my Catholic faith. One is a more realistic view of suffering. In this life we are in a valley of tears - no promise of an abundant life in this life. That is reserved for eternity. In this life, we can face unemployment, broken engagements or marriages, death of loved ones, terminal diseases, poverty, etc. It is through much suffering to enter the kingdom of God.
Protestantism changed two doctrines in the Catholic Church that I think forced Protestant ministers to promise an easy life if one turns to Christ. One was that we could never fall from grace. The other was that there was no purgatory. Since Protestants no longer had any fear of going to hell or even purgatory they were not motivated to be involved in the church or even give to the church. So the Protestant preachers would preach that, although their reward in the next life is absolutely certain that their rewards in this life was uncertain. If they be good Christians in this life then God would reward them in this life with good families, great jobs, and just an overall abundant life. Some would even preach that if you give 10% of your income then God would make you rich!
But I now see that my test is not over. It is not over until I die. I could fail. And God is allowing suffering in this life so that I would not fail. Judgment Day is my final exam. All my trials in this life is worth it if I can hear those precious words from my Jesus, "Well done, my good and faithful servant! Enter into my Father's house!"
