Suffering

[lemonflavor]

I don't know what happened, but overnight I slept horribly and today have terrible anxiety, even worse than it has been, digestive system in turmoil etc. It may be the switch from Ativan to Valium, slight decrease in Depakote, addition of Lamictal (really doubt that one), a cycle or combination of all of them.

I posted this in the blog and thought I would post it here. Tough to live by and is really being tested now.

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This is what I'm trying to live by for now. This is from The Practice Of The Presence Of God - Letters
http://www.practicegodspresence.com/brotherlawrence/11-practicegodspresence.html#letters
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Eleventh Letter: I do not pray that you may be delivered from your pains; but I pray earnestly that God gives you strength and patience to bear them as long as He pleases. Comfort yourself with Him who holds you fastened to the cross. He will loose you when He thinks fit. Happy are those who suffer with Him. Accustom yourself to suffer in that manner, and seek from Him the strength to endure as much, and as long, as He judges necessary for you.
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The Eleventh through the Fifteenth letters are very good regarding suffering.

 

[angelkiss]

lemonflavor,
praying that God will give you strength during this time. He will see you through and we are always here for ya
's and es!!

 

[broken4him]

I will be praying for you.

 

[Crystal~Rose]

I don't know what happened, but overnight I slept horribly and today have terrible anxiety, even worse than it has been, digestive system in turmoil etc. It may be the switch from Ativan to Valium, slight decrease in Depakote, addition of Lamictal (really doubt that one), a cycle or combination of all of them.

I posted this in the blog and thought I would post it here. Tough to live by and is really being tested now.

-->

This is what I'm trying to live by for now. This is from The Practice Of The Presence Of God - Letters
http://www.practicegodspresence.com/brotherlawrence/11-practicegodspresence.html#letters
--------------------
Eleventh Letter: I do not pray that you may be delivered from your pains; but I pray earnestly that God gives you strength and patience to bear them as long as He pleases. Comfort yourself with Him who holds you fastened to the cross. He will loose you when He thinks fit. Happy are those who suffer with Him. Accustom yourself to suffer in that manner, and seek from Him the strength to endure as much, and as long, as He judges necessary for you.
-------------------
The Eleventh through the Fifteenth letters are very good regarding suffering.

Very good book, powerfully spoke to me in time of need...thank you for reminding me.I could use it now. God bless you. for you, Crystal

 

[mysojourn]

Praying for you lemonflavor.

 

[Alive again]

Praying this prayer with you lemonflavor,

"I do not pray that you may be delivered from your pains; but I pray earnestly that God gives you strength and patience to bear them as long as He pleases. Comfort yourself with Him who holds you fastened to the cross. He will loose you when He thinks fit. Happy are those who suffer with Him. Accustom yourself to suffer in that manner, and seek from Him the strength to endure as much, and as long, as He judges necessary for you."


YOu may not be far off the mark with the med change from ativan to Valium.

Blessings and prayers.

 

[lemonflavor]

I still feel awful today. The worst part is upon waking, I have a very short but extreme anxiety attack where I break into a sweat and there is an big shot of adrenaline or whatever that's extremely uncomfortable, including naps. Then the rest of the day I feel like a low level anxiety attack is always there with digestive upset, tight back muscles, etc.

I've had so many problems lately I feel like I'm crying wolf or like a broken record.

I really hope the Lamictal works, that I don't get worse until it builds up and if it works that I could keep getting samples.

 

[angelkiss]

I still feel awful today. The worst part is upon waking, I have a very short but extreme anxiety attack where I break into a sweat and there is an big shot of adrenaline or whatever that's extremely uncomfortable, including naps. Then the rest of the day I feel like a low level anxiety attack is always there with digestive upset, tight back muscles, etc.

I've had so many problems lately I feel like I'm crying wolf or like a broken record.

I really hope the Lamictal works, that I don't get worse until it builds up and if it works that I could keep getting samples.

lemonflavor,
You're not cry'n wolf, and ya don't sound like a broken record. It's tough dealing with this illness, no matter what form it is.
I especially find it hard on med adjustment, for it seems that it takes forever for them to actually start working........my meds are actually working and I'm always all over the place. I still have the panic attacks, the ups and downs, my boo-radily moments, etc. It's all part of this illness and to be quite honest, I don't know what actually being "Level" is. I've never been level. I've just been "tolerable"
You're in our prayers
's and es!!

 

[Alive again]

Lemonflavor, praying for you as med changes are indeed one of the most challenging things with this illness. Praying that you also will find your level, your sweet spot in your struggle with this illness.

I define level as the cycling being more controlled, not such extremes, the anxiety is stil there and I hate it but I can deal with it in various ways depending upon how whigh it get, the ups and downs are there and will always be. Even people without bp have good days and bad days, so to me that is life and to me with bp the ups and downs may be higher than others or more often even more than one in a day at times, but I have learned to watch them and know my warnings that things are getting out of control, and what I can do to help myslef or what others can do to help, and to recognize my triggers. I also have to "keep" short accounts with my emotions, for if I let irritation or frustration or whatever build up it quickly turns into to anger, so i am still learning how to deal with things more up front, verbally, honestly and in love, so I don't end up in "rages"so often