yeah, I generally agree with everything that's been said in this thread. Amatire: I think you have a lot to be encouraged about

I just wanted to add that I would be cautious to say God actually WANTS you to suffer.
I believe it's more along the lines of ALLOWING things to happen for your greater good. Suffering and disease sadly is a fact of life in this sin-broken world. God may be using that to help you depend on Him more, or make you stronger spirituality and physically when you come out of the illness. He may be using it to show a miracle of healing (like the blind man who was blind so that "the work of God might be displayed in his life") (I think that's the wording), God might want you to be able to witness to others who are ill and suffering, or He may just want to show you more of His great and intimate love through this. There are MANY possible, Biblical, and encouraging explanations.
But I do think He WANTS to heal you. He WILL do at the time He deems best, which will be the BEST time for you, in His perfect wisdom, whether any of us realize it now or not

Keep praying though!
And if you are sick for a long time, just remember He's got all eternity to make it up to you
AWESOME, isn't it? Praise HIM!
You could also think of it in terms of a parent taking a small child to the doctor to get a shot. The shot may be very painful to the child and the child may not understand at all why the parent is putting them through it . . . but it is actually for their good. The parent is doing it out of love, and the child will understand that later as they grow
Or you can think of it like this (I got this from Lee Strobel's The Case for Faith Student Edition) : If you are a hunter and see a bear with it's leg caught in a trap, you may try to help it. Well, the bear my be angry and think you're out to hurt it, especially after you shoot it with a tranquilizer dart and then have to actually first push its leg FURTHER into the trap to loosen it up for removal. The bear, in its limited wisdom and limited perspective, will have no idea what's going on. It will think you are trying to hurt it, but you are actually trying to help.
It's much the same with God and us. We don't see or understand the whole picture. But He loves you no matter what. Just depend on Him, and things will be AWESOME
God bless you, He REALLY LOVES YOU, ALOT. Keep up the fight and the praying
