hello everyone!!
i am really struggling with OCD lately. i am a Christian, a follower of Christ, and i know that i am saved by Jesus' blood.
but i also have OCD. i dealt with OCD even prior to becoming a Christian, which was a few years ago. but it was always about other things (like doubt, checking everything several times, and needing control over my environment/body).
but recently, i have been having these terrible thoughts. they always come back to this: "you do not really believe in Jesus/you are not really saved".
my OCD always targets the parts of my life that are most important to me, my absolute comfort, the thing that keeps me from slipping.
for example, prior to becoming to Christ, i was anorexic and my doubts were always about that.
i have been serving, loving, and trusting my Savior for nearly 2 years and luckily never had any OCD obsessions related to my faith. but lately, i have been barraged with these thoughts.
they are never really related to my sin, because i know that i'm a terrible sinner and that Christ took that burden from me, He took the Father's wrath upon Himself. and so i don't think my OCD is targeting that because it knows that i do not fear my sin, it does not have a hold on me anymore.
but if it can tell me that i am not really forgiven, that i do not believe, that would distress me.
these thoughts seem like they are straight from the enemy, from some messenger of Satan. and a lot of my OCD comes from my perceived inability to trust my own thoughts/memories/beliefs and so it targets that. for example- in less extreme cases of my OCD that i can bear- i double-check (and triple-check, and so on) locks, my belongings, ingredients, etc.
my hope is in Jesus. He will hold me fast. i look forward to the day when my faith shall be sight and i no longer have to put up with this. i will embrace my Savior with the biggest smile ever :"))
thank you everyone for reading, may the Lord bless you and keep you!
i am really struggling with OCD lately. i am a Christian, a follower of Christ, and i know that i am saved by Jesus' blood.
but i also have OCD. i dealt with OCD even prior to becoming a Christian, which was a few years ago. but it was always about other things (like doubt, checking everything several times, and needing control over my environment/body).
but recently, i have been having these terrible thoughts. they always come back to this: "you do not really believe in Jesus/you are not really saved".
my OCD always targets the parts of my life that are most important to me, my absolute comfort, the thing that keeps me from slipping.
for example, prior to becoming to Christ, i was anorexic and my doubts were always about that.
i have been serving, loving, and trusting my Savior for nearly 2 years and luckily never had any OCD obsessions related to my faith. but lately, i have been barraged with these thoughts.
they are never really related to my sin, because i know that i'm a terrible sinner and that Christ took that burden from me, He took the Father's wrath upon Himself. and so i don't think my OCD is targeting that because it knows that i do not fear my sin, it does not have a hold on me anymore.
but if it can tell me that i am not really forgiven, that i do not believe, that would distress me.
these thoughts seem like they are straight from the enemy, from some messenger of Satan. and a lot of my OCD comes from my perceived inability to trust my own thoughts/memories/beliefs and so it targets that. for example- in less extreme cases of my OCD that i can bear- i double-check (and triple-check, and so on) locks, my belongings, ingredients, etc.
my hope is in Jesus. He will hold me fast. i look forward to the day when my faith shall be sight and i no longer have to put up with this. i will embrace my Savior with the biggest smile ever :"))
thank you everyone for reading, may the Lord bless you and keep you!
