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stupid desire

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Zippety

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I gave a guy that asked for my number a while back. He wanted me to hang out with him at night to go dirtbike riding which sounded suspicious but i really wanted to, luckily i didnt. I found out he knows one of my friends and she told me he is a major rapist and has warrants out for his arrest on multiple accounts.
A while ago a guy came close to raping me, he didnt but he almost did. After that i have wanted to be abused. So now i secretly kinda want to hang out with this bad boy. I know its crazy but at the same time it feels like its the closest thing i will ever get to love and acceptance. How can i stop this messed up way of thinking!
 

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